Once again I am dealing with a huge screw up that is very apparent to me now, but at the time did not make any impression on me. I work in a school as a teacher's aide, and when we all arrived I found out that the teacher that I work with was quite ill and unable to come in that day (and possibly a few days before and after). I got all wrapped up in the day, and rather than behaving like a star and getting to work in the classroom to make the place look a little more organized (I think this is what was expected.... Not really sure) , I didn't do anything. In my defense, she is someone new I am working with and I wasn't sure if she wanted me messing with her stuff, but it bothers me that I didn't even ask how I could be of help.
I'm so frustrated with the stupidity of this thing that I have, and the constant 'side looks' that my behavior sometimes creates. It definitely isolates me from my peers, as people are often not sure how to deal with me. I most often feel like I don't belong.
There is the possibility that I am completely over reacting, and this is not a 'thing' at all, but another component of my life with add is that I rarely have a clue about (how my behavior affects) outcomes, until they actually slap me upside the head.
I tried adderall last year, but really didn't like the way it made me feel - I was going through my family physician and felt like I wanted much more direction.
Ugh! School starts tomorrow and I hate feeling like I'm not sure how I'm going to be received. I will worry about it all day (and possibly night)!