how to deal with so much?: I've been... - CHADD's Adult ADH...

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how to deal with so much?

yellowbirb profile image
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I've been struggling with personal problems (my dad is terminally ill, due to brain tumours), work and financial problems (he was self-employed, so I also have to work to guarantee that our income is going to be stable) and last, struggling with my depression, anxiety and ADHD at college, feeling that I'm so lazy, and feeling that my grades are strictly related to the sense of my self-worth.

The question is: how to deal with so much?

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yellowbirb profile image
yellowbirb
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3 Replies
Olinick profile image
Olinick

I totally understand what you are dealing with. I also have anxiety, depression, panic disorder, PTSD and ADD. For over ten years I was the caregiver for both of my parents - my father had Parkinson's with dementia and my mother had dementia. I worked in addition to caring for them. So many days I wanted to just sit down and cry. When things were getting worse for my parents and they were requiring more of my time (and both my brother and sister were too "busy" to help me out) I opted to work part time, thinking it was just for a year. I ended up being forced out of my job when I requested to come back to work full time. For the next six years I pieced together part time jobs, sometimes as many as 5 while still dealing with my parents. This was just so I could hang on to my home and maybe get some food in the house for myself and my dog and cat. I don't know if this will help but when someone would comment on how they didn't know how I did it all, I would respond with, "All I can do is put one foot in front of the other and keep moving forward." Many days I reminded myself of that. About three years ago I reached the point when I couldn't respond with that anymore. I had no more steps to take. With the help of friends and my therapist and my psychiatrist I was able to pick myself up again. These past three years haven't been easy but I feel now I have come full circle. Both of my parents have passed away so I am not their caregiver anymore and the financial issues have finally improved, I can go to the grocery store and buy food when I need to. The better days will come to you again but for now just keep reminding your self, "All I can do is put one foot in front of the other and keep moving forward."

happy_kitty profile image
happy_kitty

I'm currently in college as well. It is hard to not feel like your grades = your worth. There's so much more to it though. The fact that your taking your time and money to take care of your dad is one positive aspect. I know that can be hard, my stepmother lost her father to Alzheimer's little more than a year ago.

I have a little bit of anxiety and depression(though neither is officially diagnosed) along with my ADHD too. My doctor decided to focus on treating the ADHD first and doing so helped a great deal to indirectly control the other things. I think that a lot of times when people have co-occurring conditions the ADHD (especially if uncontrolled) can fuel the other things and fan the flames. Plus, focusing on one condition at a time can help with that big picture 'There's just too much' sort of feel.

It helps if you have someone to talk to. When I get really stressed I feel better when I have someone to share my struggles with. A change of setting can make a difference too. Sometimes when people get stressed (myself included) we have this desire to hole ourselves in, never leave the house except to go to work, school, (maybe) church, or grocery shopping. Breaking this cycle, going out to dinner (an actual resteraunt is better than fast food), hanging out with friends, going to the park or the gym, etc., can help clear your mind and dissipate that trapped feeling that can build up.

Well, I hope that helped! Best of luck!

Grateful17 profile image
Grateful17

Don’t worry about getting excellent t grades. Your hard work and family dedication show so much better to a potential mployer than stupid grades. Go to school to learn for Yourself! You will get through the hard times and it will be okay. Try to smile and have fun more than Once in awhile. You are young and you have a lot right now,but I promise it will get better. So many people have hard times - reach out if you have a religion or meditate. I will pray for you

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