Hello there, well keep it short I got diagnosed with ADD and we’ll I go through a lot of emotions right now , at first I was relieved everything make sense now the things I am doing I can’t focus after 3 min of working and I am being blame for so many mistakes that it is just not intentional. But feeling turn to sad because now I have to tell them that I have adhd and this is me and here they looking me like mentally retarded. My point is how your control this emotion come to your head that you know what to do but something happens and I lost control and I come back and make me feel sad, even more that I have keep this adhd all my life’s please help to how calm down and cool myself
Thank you
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Redmiliano
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Welcome! To one of the best clubs in the world! Yes it is hard when you first get the diagnosis, as there is confusion, when we are already confused. But also we now start to understand why we have been this way and for us it is NORMAL. The most important things to do is start by accepting what you feel is normal, how you behave is normal and is not a mental problem, we just have a different neuro-chemsitry. Read, read and read, there are great resources out there, Hallowell and Ratey are two of the most experienced therapists and have written a great book Delivered From Distraction, based on over 30 years of helping people with ADD/ADHD - and their secret to success? They both have it and really understand it.
Feeling of anger/frustration are also totally NORMAL our neuro-chemistry has one of the fastest On switches and slowest Off switches. Anger management skills are really useful for us - not because we are angry people, but because the skills they teach on these courses can help calm our behaviors a lot. For me, daily relaxation, of just 10 minutes has significantly reduced my outbursts. See stresscontrolaudio(dot)com for an 8 minute relaxation.
Support Groups, either face to face if you can find one, or online like here and other blogs about ADD/ADHD (Additude is a good place to start) will really show you that you are not alone and the things you are sensing are NORMAL. Healthcare, there are many options to help, therapy/medication.
Work, depending on where you are living, many countries these days recognize ADD/ADHD as something which can affect the way somebody works and if it causes problems, then an employer has to make reasonable efforts to work with the employee to improve things for them. That might be things such as giving them breaks to stop things getting too much, changing the role so that mistakes become less, better screens, less distraction, wearing headphones to remove distractions, more coffee....etc.
At the moment you are at the start of a journey, the road ahead looks dark and frightening, but so many people have walked those first few steps and they were nervous, but with reading, sharing advice, taking steps to be more calm/relaxed, talking to an employer, accepting that what you feel is normal, will help and you will be able to keep walking and things will get brighter.
You will probably already notice there is somethings that you do, which really get your attention, and you just can't put them down - this is HYPERFOCUS - and it is our secret weapon. When you find what your hyperfocus is, it might be doing puzzles, fixing bikes, art, sculpture, cooking, anything that totally absorbs your time - like you don't realize that hours are passing. When you find what this is - make it your career/hobby, it's your happy place. Also, look up a list of well known people who have ADD/ADHD and you'll be amazed at what people have achieved.
Wishing you all the best and looking forward to seeing you again here.
I was recently diagnosed at the age of 52. I too was emotional about my diagnosed. Thank you for the great response Mark my hyperfocus is riding my Harley. It gets hard in the winter. With each day it is getting better and I am accepting my Normal.
Excellent, thank you. After diagnosis I attempted explaining my ADHD behaviors to those I thought I might have impacted.
The issue was that my understanding of those behaviors and impacts, etc, took another three years, in fact I’m still learning about my AAHD. I just started working with a ADHD coach. I’m a bit surprised at how precarious it all seems. I’m finding that even the coaching portal and how I relate to it must be tuned specific to me, the unique ADHD’er.
We have all been there. I always struggled in school and in law school. My attention shifts very quickly. I struggle at work to meet deadlines. I meet them but at great personal cost since I usually wait until the last minute. I work best early in the morning so I do all my heavy work in the morning. I haven't shared my diagnosis with people at work. I think you should be proud of yourself that you are confident enough to share! That's just a huge step! This site is extremely helpful! Whenever I'm feeling overwhelmed I take a few minutes to read through posts and articles. I feel less alone and I always find someone who is going through what I am dealing with. Hang in there. You are not alone. Take a deep breath.
This is a great video to share with people and to personally understand it as well. Dr. Thomas Brown & Dr. Russell Barkley will give you a wealth of knowledge about what ADHD is and approach to treatment.
I reacted the same exact way. At first, great relief! Then, the “now what” thoughts made me feel even more lost. YouTube has helped me understand a lot about ADHD. I listen to it sped up at least 1.25x (depending on how fast the speaker talks) to save time.
Here’s Dr. Russel Barkley discussing ADHD. He made me cry when he demonstrated how well he understood ADHD. It was like he was explaining myself to me. I was finally understood & could finally understand myself.
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