Any tips for this newbee?

[Satrianna]

Hi All

It is good to be among friends who will most likely "get me" since we are all going through similar struggles. My anxiety about struggling with ADHD is all hopped up lately. I am starting grad school and am, naturally, struggling with the material. Reading, following instructions, and time management are my big issues there. Additionally, my peers are starting to react to how "different" I am. I am trying to stay open, approachable, and to remember that they are not bad people but they are just reacting to my condition, but it still hurts. It takes energy to be around me. That is no ones fault. It's just my condition. I'm not always good at reading, or reacting appropriately, to other people's body language. But, I really want to have good relationships in my academic environment. Anyone out there have any tips for me?

[dubstepMaul]

hi Satrianna! a warm welcome to you. I'm sorry you are feeling anxious and hurting. But let me say, congratulations on starting grad school, that is quite an accomplishment. 😊 Regarding your work load, maybe it would help to break the work up into smaller pieces, to work on little by little, so you don't feel overwhelmed. Regarding pier relationships, sorry, I don't really have any tips. But know that there will always be some who won't "get" you - Your worth and value are not derived from what others think of you etc

[Satrianna in reply to dubstepMaul]

Thank you for your tip and words of encouragement. I really appreciate it.

[Freedom-in-ADHD]

Greetings my friend,

The best move you could make regarding relationships with your fellows is to get connected ASAP with the others there who have ADHD. Even if you are at the most prestigious university there are others there. You surly can figure out how to accomplish this, so do it, it will be a serious advantage to you in so many ways.

Secondary on that topic is work in a little side skimming of ADHD material for social behavior tips. By now even with creative googling you should come up with case specific info professional and layman written.

Regarding the work!!!!!! My friend there is no easy answer to work around it all. The best encouragement i can give is allocating the energy of your hyper-focusing. For example you are by now heavily focused with studies directly associated to your main interest. So where your passion is so is your ability to hyper-focus. The challenge for you is that deadlines are going to be your main motivator, so that means procrastination will be a subtile adversary at your minds judgement making moments. And with your need to have in general way more time to study and learn you will want to freak out often. SO how do you stop this from happening. In basic principle you have to be very wise about how you choose to value the material given to you to study. Its hard for me to be specific on this strategy, i can only point you to the concept and you have to build it for yourself and your studies.

Bottom line is make pre-deadlines for yourself that have real consequences and use your internal preferences on topics to get your momentum going. For example, if you feel good about critiquing xyz do that first for set time till you have to switch to reviewing the boring argument of the guy who do not even think like or want to have influence your thoughts or mood. Then, push through that guy fast enough to get the basics. Yet if its your professors buddy then make sure you come back to it at lest one more time with serious effort before your self imposed pseudo-reality-pre-deadline.

And MOST IMPORTANT! Stay positive - This can not be overestimated. You must at all times sleep when you need to sleep enough to have a positive mood or it will spiral out of control so fast. Do not make coffee a daily shoot glass ritual from morning to night. And do not over do it on shit fast food full of preservatives and sugar. Take the time to make a nice meal with a fellow in your study, one reads while the other prepares the food. Be creative with your studies so they are enjoyable or you will burnout faster fighting yourself instead of just finding the right harmony. The routine of non ADHDers will not last for you, have confidence in your self-awareness and make sure you stay motivated. Your Low dopamine levels will make this difficult any way so do not compound it. Be proactive for your joy and success not reactive.

Best to you, the pain will not last for ever and ever, just a whole lot longer than is comfortable. The higher the effort the greater the outcome.

Your friend!

[Satrianna in reply to Freedom-in-ADHD]

What an awesome, thoughtful reply. Thank you so much!