56 and diagnosed at 45: New to the... - CHADD's Adult ADH...

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56 and diagnosed at 45

Tonkalady profile image
6 Replies

New to the group. Even after 11 or so years, I am still learning about this condition and discovering that a lot of the many "character flaws" I thought I had were due to one disease (if you don't mind me calling it that).

Like most everyone else, however, realizing that I had ADHD and getting treatment for it has made a world of difference.

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Tonkalady profile image
Tonkalady
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6 Replies
LindaLoca profile image
LindaLoca

I was 49 when diagnosed. I’m now 52 and just starting to grapple with its impact. I was highly functioning until my mom passed away when I was 49. Highly functioning, yet, now that I’m coming out of the cloud of grief, I look back on my life and all I see are missed opportunities. I’m sad and angry.

I’m working with a new therapist who is helping me get my life back on track and stay positive. It’s been a combination of ADHD and menopause that paralyzed me in permanent state of brain fog.

I’ve been medicated since diagnosis, but I just started to take an active role in organizing my life so that I can be productive again. I think I was expecting miracles from the medication. My thinking was clearer, but I was apathetic about tackling big tasks. My biggest obstacle is clutter. Over the last few years it had gotten so bad, several rooms in my home are packed with crap. I’m working on them, slowly. Now to work out on a regular basis; that would help a lot.

focusme profile image
focusme in reply toLindaLoca

I learned about this group during a training for work and just remembered when I read your post: clutterersanonymous.org

From my recollection (pun not intentional lol) they have phone meetings to support slow steady progress....even one drawer. I’m going to check it out because I’m noticing all the clutter contributes to my feeling disorganized internally. Thanks for reminder!

LindaLoca profile image
LindaLoca in reply tofocusme

Thank YOU so much for the tip! I need all the help I can get.

GeorgeJacobs19 profile image
GeorgeJacobs19

Hi Tonkalady! I just joined today and posted about all the judgmental labels that I suffered throughout my life..."character flaws" that became my inner voice. Diagnosis and meds have been freeing for me. Now about the word "dis-ease". Yes, we neuro-a-typical folks spend years ill-at-ease in our families & communities but that doesn't mean we are broken, damaged, or diseased. It means we are different. It means we need to work hard to get the neurotypical world to stop Labeling and to start seeing every person as worthy of contributing to society in their own way...and to make it possible for everyone to contribute. We ADHD folks tend to be highly creative, intelligent etc but have difficulties with follow-through....imagine a system where we get paid to think creatively and problem solve without having to produce....someone else can take our ideas and run with them. I love this idea...of course I am not going to follow through with it! ;-)

kami73 profile image
kami73

I was diagnosed at 45 also. Talk about everything making sense now. All the weird characteristics that I’ve had over the years starting in early childhood have become so clear to me now. I think I can speak for most that are diagnosed so late in life, if I had known so long ago, I could have been able to understand why I was different and what makes me tick.

When I was a child, ADHD wasn’t really a “thing”, wasn’t talked about and was misunderstood and mislabeled. So us oldtimer ADDers didn’t get the help that is offered today. We were just bad kids, the daydreamer kids or the unmotivated kids. So, we grew up making it through life the best way that we could. Sometimes following a very destructive path or lucky enough to find a good niche in our lives.

That being said, I’m so glad I was diagnosed. It sheds so much light on my entire life past, present and future and give me hope!!! Now maybe I can manage my ADHD in an informed and healthy way.👍🏻😌😄

Tonkalady profile image
Tonkalady

Thanks for the support. Yeah, I remember all the names (ditzy, air head, space cadet). But no one in my family called me stupid because even though I had "no common sense"- wherever that comes from, I was the most intelligent of the bunch. And that didn't say much, unfortunately. I also remember:

- my mom's disappointment whenever I failed to get chores completed.

- Constantly having to ask people to repeat things because I wasn't paying attention.

- The eyeball rolls whenever I said "I forgot."

- A growing inability to deal with anger when I reached my teens that I finally dealt with in my late 40's.

- Impulsive and reckless behaviors.

How irritating I must have been. How much more successful in life and work I might have been with diagnosis and treatment.

** Bright side: I now HAVE a diagnosis & treatment, I am more successful in life & career, I am rich with experience, I can mentor others. ❤️

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