Lost in a never ending cycle of mess.

[Leo1865]

Hi everyone!

I'm 53 and have been dealing with ADHD my entire life, I was diagnosed about 15 years ago, but looking back I had classic symptoms when I was a child in school. Back then ADHD wasn't around. I suffer from Depression, Anxiety and I am Bipolar. I have tried numerous medications to help cope with this awful disorder. People do not understand what it feels like to be like this.

I have so many things that need to be completed and I just can't seem to do them, even if I have the time. I get so over whelmed that I don't do anything. Or if I start something I can guarantee that it won't get finished. That is how my whole life it like. I try, I try so hard but I just can't seem to focus, and the more things I have left undone the more depressed I get and it's getting worse everyday. In have so many ideas and things I want to do and plan to do, but I just can't get them done.

I have no friends and I feel so lonely. I need someone to talk to, work with me to keep me focused to finish things but I don't know where to find that person. I have been married for 33 years and my husband doesn't really understand what it going through my mind. He thinks he does, but he don't. He don't help me with much of anything and our relationship sucks. I have no one to lean on for support and I don't know what to do anymore.

I lost my job a few years ago and I have not been able to find steady work. I had decided to start selling stuff on like ebay, craigslist etc. I have a ton of stuff to sell, but nothing listed. I don't know where to start, again I am overwhelmed. I am very capable of doing it, I just think I someone to get me started on the right direction.

With everything in a mess, as most people with ADHD, I just don't know where to start. And I don't know where to go for help. I have been seeing the same doctor for years and I think he doesn't really listen anymore, I feel I need to change doctors to maybe get a fresh set of eyes on my condition. But then again, who? Where do I start.

I came across this website and when I was looking for support.

[snwhip]

I can relate although my spouse is generally supportive. Perhaps you could call your health insurance to find a new doctor. And challenge yourself with one task a day... maybe list 2 things on eBay every day?

[Packman]

My symptoms are almost identical to yours. However I have a loving and supportive spouse and now that I just retired, I strongly want to work on this more proactively. I hope to have an appointment with one of the Drs. on the staff here and ask what treatment (other than my medication) might help, especially an ADD coach (or any particular type of therapy I am not aware of. Best wishes to you.

[MrWill]

I too am looking to start ... at 59.

Where do WE start?

[Diana_Late-Diagnosis]

This week you can view a variety of ADHD videos at adhdexpo.com. It is free and there are many helpful tips here. I share your frustration with a giant pile to deal with. I stopped thinking about the big picture and now try to focus on any step that I can accomplish. I list what I’ve done at the end of the day and often see that I’ve accomplished quite a bit—which helps my attitude. On the other hand, when I think about the big picture of what I’m having to do, I get overwhelmed and shut down. It is important to believe that you can make forward progress. Try to be open to the possibility that you may not know what that looks like right NOW!. One thing at a time. Worst case: set a timer to focus on one task for :15 minutes. Try that again and again. You can do almost anything for :15 minutes!

[Faithfull]

Omg I just read that to my daughter she thought that I write it about me I ain't got no answers but it's to much to live with anyone let alone yourself,as GP same they can can walk away go home but we never get a break from ourself a ,I also. Have PTSD and very physically McReynolds ill I have no one no support begging mental health social services u name it I asked but nothing I'm sorry went on but I'm hear for chat it's a lonely life but if you need a shoulder to cry on I do no how you feel I honestly do I'm on Ritalin and other med but Ritalin don't work under extremely pressure.

[Hidden]

Wow thank you for posting this!! I have not been diagnosed but strongly suspect I have ADHD, and your description is pretty much exactly what I have been going through my whole life.

It hurts because my whole life people have assumed I am lazy or just a procrastinator, but they don’t realize how hard I try. And I have so many passions and ideas and things I want to do in life but even just maintaining my health and keeping the house clean are overwhelming

I recently went to this terrible psychiatrist who didn’t listen to a word I said - literally I don’t think I was able to finish a single sentence the entire appointment as he kept cutting me off. At the end of the appointment he told me he didn’t believe I had any disorder and therefore wouldn’t prescribe anything. He also made a comment that “our health care system can’t afford for every bored housewife to seek therapy when there are people dying of cancer” (even though I am neither bored nor a housewife). I left feeling even more depressed than when I went in.

Do any of you have any suggestions as to how to get a proper diagnosis? This guy relied solely on questionnaires based on the DSM and concluded I didn’t have ADHD without listening to my explanation of my symptoms. But seriously, everything you described is me to a T!!! And I’m tired of struggling thru life!!

Sorry for the long winded reply!! Oh and I also wanted to say, I found this YouTube channel that you might find useful called How To ADHD. It is run by a girl who has it and has made a bunch of videos with helpful tips for things like managing your time, overcoming anxiety and perfectionism, regulating emotions, etc. The only annoying thing is she kinda talks like she’s talking to a child, but if you can get past that she’s got lots of helpful life hacks, and it’s FREE to watch!

[SurfaceSun]

Leo1865, I am EXACTLY like the description you gave of yourself 4 years ago except for the job problem and I am not Bipolar. I have no support and no friends that can understand this. I am alone all day and you know the rest of that story. I am 61 and found out I have ADHD when I was 43. Since this post, has anything improved? Are you still without a support system? have you found any strategies that are helpful?