lying and stealing

[Margaret386]

my son is 17 years old and I found out he has been vaping and stealing from us or selling his things to get vapes. I have no clue what to do with him. I don’t like the lying it’s out of control he sees a psychiatrist and therapists he’s on medication for his adhd what do I do and who has gone through this

[Pema20]

we had challenges with vaping and cannabis use with our 17 year old. They used it to self medicate for sure. Family therapy helped a lot. They never stole from us however, though lying was an issue. They lie to protect themselves. I do recommend finding a family therapist who deals with ADHD, teens and substance use. Unfortunately, mostly all you can do is set clear expectations, talk to them about the dangers, keep them in therapy and white knuckle it in the hopes they will learn to moderate and hopefully quit before it’s too hard to quit. Up until ours was 18 I would remove stuff from their room and toss it, but since they hit 18, we leave it and just keep talking about how bad it all is. I will say their use is not excessive and is in line with many of their peers, but that’s too much for me. Personally, I am frustrated by just how easy it is for teens to get this stuff and how addictive it is. FYI, our family therapist really helped me and my husband cope and make our messages clear and consistent. At this stage in their lives our kids have to figure things out for themselves and that includes doing stupid, potentially self harming, stuff. It’s very hard to watch. Hang in there!!!

[LisethHIS]

Hi, Margaret386,

I recommend starting family therapy. chadd.org/professional-dire... Is there a family member he feels comfortable talking to? At CHADD, we also have teen support groups if he would like to meet with other teens who have ADHD. chaddofsfv.org/ or adhdkc.org/ I would suggest sitting down with him in a safe space and gently letting him know that you're aware of the vaping, lying, and stealing. Ask him why he feels the need to do those things, but make sure he doesn't feel attacked. If he feels attacked, he may get upset and not listen. Also, ask if he feels depressed. Peer pressure and social influence can play a big role. Talk about the negative impact these behaviors are having on his health and daily life. It's a tough situation, but remember, you're doing your best!

Here is an article on vaping- chadd.org/adhd-news/adhd-ne...

cdc.gov/tobacco/e-cigarette...

If there is anything else you need, let me know.

Liseth

Health Information Specialist

CHADD's National Resource Center on ADHD

chadd.org