Hi -- I'm new to the community but have been reading the posts and comments and feel comfortable posting for the first time.
My wife and I have two sons, one of which is 6 yrs old and has been diagnosed by a Developmental Pediatrician as having ADHD. To say that we are struggling to get control of his daily life is an understatement. He has tried multiple different meds, is in a great school with a strong IEP program and Team, and has done some outside therapy -- but his behavior, especially at home, is becoming worse.
He is violent with us (biting a lot, hitting/punching/kicking, hitting his head against the ground/floor, and throwing anything he can get his hands on), says really dark things, and has trouble sleeping and eating, and is routinely anxious. This occurs all day, every day, especially when he is out of his routine. The triggers are when he is nervous about something, during transitions, and when he doesn't get his way or full attention. We use the common tactics of staying calm, having him use his words, putting him in a safe space, but it's to no real value.
He is currently taking 150mg of Qelbree in the morning and 2mg of Guanfacine in the evening -- but it's not doing anything productive. Further, the next step we are told is to have family therapy for us and him but the next appointment isn't until the Fall.
Does anyone have advice for us -- meds, treatment, how to handle as parents? As you know, we're exhausted and extremely worried. Thank you
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Commodore76
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Thanks for posting to the group. What you are describing about your child's behavior is common for children with ADHD.. It is really wonderful that you have done so much for him. It sounds like you are on the right track. We added a second dose of Guanfacine in the Am and that really helped a lot.
Could you also make sure that the Guanfacine is a 24 hour dose so that there are not "breaks" in the medication.
Maturity helps so much, once they feel stable on the correct dose you will know becuase 60% of the symptoms will go away. To us this was amazing.
Hope you are able to get everything working. Having the negative behaviors are so hard on him and your family.
For us, sitting with a therapist explaining the daily struggles and having them work with our son helped so much. It's almost like someone else needed to explain his behavior and the consequences. Like currently he is struggling with flossing his teeth. I can prompt him, remind him and discuss it with him, but until the dentist tells him he has 3 cavities it doesn't impact him... it's the story of his life.
Same thing with speeding in his car. I him over and over my husband told him. He got a speeding ticket. Now the consequence ( yes he paid the ticket, did traffic school) but the real consequence is he will not be driving our car if it happens again. He seems to be slowing down.. but who knows.
As a parent it is hard to watch him make the wrong choice ( not anything against the law).
Our son takes medication daily, goes to counseling and has a college plan.
Hope this helps...
Always here to help you work through any struggles we most likely have already been through it with our kids.
I’m so sorry. I’ve been through all of that and still have certain behavior struggles with my 12 yo. I don’t have much advice other than the Guanfacine didn’t do much of anything (the dr agreed) for him. We definitely gave it a good shot, maybe almost 2 years on it. One thing that did help a lot when my son was about 9 was adding Zoloft. He’s still on it and I think it made a big difference. Good luck, it’s so hard!
You have done a great job of lining up resources to help your son! Don’t forget to take care of yourselves too! Tilt Parenting is a good resource for that. Positive behavior therapy can be really helpful. I’m sorry you have to wait to be seen. In our experience, at the younger ages what helped the most was providing accommodations to reduce anxiety (visual schedules, use of first this, then that, etc) and positive parenting techniques taught us by a psychologist cross-trained as a behavior analyst. We also found out later that our son had some genetic differences that led to him being unable to process certain nutrients. When we corrected for that, we saw a big difference. May not be your child’s case, but it may be worth checking with pediatrician and/or investing in high quality/bioavailable multivitamin/probiotic, especially if not eating well.
Our pediatrician ordered GeneSight testing to try to figure out which medications would work best for our child. There are others (genomind, etc). We found our child needs methylfolate and methycobalamin because he only processes 30% of the folate he takes in. Folic acid does nothing for him. It can be challenging finding vitamins that are palatable and also provide the right amounts of nutrients in their most bioavailable forms! You may want to check out Greenblatt’s book Finally Focused if curious more about nutrition and ADHD.
If possible, walk away and tell him you will be around him when he is being safe. If that doesn’t work, you may want to look into CPI training.
My kid lashes out a lot too, but it’s luckily not physical. We are going to look into anxiety meds since that is what helps the rest of our family not lash out.
My family tried Guanfacine and because it is a med that lowers blood pressure, it has made my family light headed, and my eldest feint. I have read other peoples’ posts where they think the med has made their kid more cranky, and I know if I was light headed a lot, I would be confused and frustrated that I felt sleepy all of the time.
I would definitely also look into family therapy. Sometimes it allows the kid to feel safe enough to talk about how they are feeling.
I would ask him if he feels… funny. If he feels woozy or sleepy more than he likes (kids cant usually understand the feelings of lightheadedness). This feeling can be confusing and making anxiety worse because of the confusion. Definitely talk to the doctor as well, just in case. Zen hugs.
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