Hi my is deborah: I have a daughter... - CHADD's ADHD Pare...

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Hi my is deborah

Deb1harris53 profile image
5 Replies

I have a daughter that has ADHD and she’s very hyper and not thinking things through when asked to these that her mother wants and needs her to do,And would love to here any advice that you would be appreciated, I just took the quiz for meself to see if had any symptoms, and I do mild ADHD in adults, but I didn’t know that you can’t catch it, or may not catch it but I didn’t know that you can give her later on in life as an adult I thought it was only with children, I didn’t know it was in adults to when they get in their late adults sore early adulthood so any advice so that will be appreciative to

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Deb1harris53 profile image
Deb1harris53
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WYMom profile image
WYMom

What's a specific example?

My ADHD daughter can be difficult to get ready for school in the morning. This morning she was hyper focused on sewing a hole in the pocket of her dress. I informed her she had to be fully ready for school before she could sew her pocket. It took lots of reminders to keep her on task but she was ready on time and had time to see her pocket. I also have specific times things need done by

She has to have finished breakfast by 7 to have time to brush her teeth and hair. So if she's lingering over breakfast I do count downs. 15 mins. 10 mins. Etc.

anirush profile image
anirush

Adults can have ADHD and sometimes don't realize it until their child shows symptoms. Kids with this need lots of patience and reminders. I have a 17 year old grandson and we are still working on personal skills. Read lots of posts on here, podcasts, books to help you help her.

STEM_Dad profile image
STEM_Dad

If you can remember having any ADHD-like traits in your youth, then it's more likely to be ADHD.

You can't catch ADHD, but other conditions can cause ADHD-like symptoms. The list is long. It includes other neurodivergent conditions such as autism or OCD. It also includes biological conditions such as hypothyroidism, and a bunch of others.

Even going through normal bodily changes like perimenopause or menopause can change a woman's attentional capabilities. (Men can also experience changes in neurological capabilities due to changes in hormones starting around middle-age.)

It might be that you have had subclinical (i.e. not significant enough for diagnosis) ADHD previously. But then going through a struggle with something like anxiety can make the ADHD traits more severe.

• This is what prompted me to get evaluated for ADHD. I had struggles all my life, but only started to suspect it was ADHD around my late 30s. Then, in my early to mid 40s, I developed severe anxiety. My ADHD struggles got a lot worse. I finally went to counseling for the anxiety, and asked to be evaluated for ADHD.

• I was diagnosed at age 45. My regular ADHD was assessed as "mild to moderate", but when I was dealing with the intense anxiety, my ADHD struggles were severe.

So, I've found that keeping my anxiety levels low makes me ADHD more manageable, and treating me ADHD makes my anxiety much less likely to rise. (I've also had struggles with mild anxiety most of my life, with occasional increases, and two times that it got very severe... during years of work issues, and when my marriage was com to an end.)

MyReese profile image
MyReese in reply to STEM_Dad

Interesting. I've often wondered if I have ADHD. My 10 year old daughter was diagnosed with ADHD/ ODD last year and I am struggling to deal with her. Always having to stay on top of her doings makes me crazy and feel like I can't keep up with my own. I have been on an antidepressant for depression/anxiety for a long time, but I am wondering if I also need something else. My anxiety level is high dealing with my daughter and work. What type of testing did you do to get diagnosed with ADHD.

STEM_Dad profile image
STEM_Dad in reply to MyReese

I was seeing a licensed mental health counselor for treatment of anxiety. She was also practiced at diagnosing and treating ADHD (mostly with kids, but some adults, too). So, I told her that I thought I might have ADHD, told her about my lifelong struggles with my attention, and asked her to evaluate me.

She agreed, while still prioritizing the anxiety treatment.

While my anxiety was still high, my ADHD seemed severe. When my anxiety levels were finally brought down, she assessed my ADHD as "mild to moderate", and said that she could see how I had masked so easily, because of how intelligently I came across to people.

~~~~~

In grade school, I was identified as "gifted". Back in the 80s and 90s, it was commonly believed that a youth could not both have ADHD and be "gifted". I think my mom was close to the mark when she likened me to "The Absentminded Professor" character played by Fred McMurray. Now, there's a term for this: Twice Exceptional (2e).

Other incorrect assumptions in the past were that:

1) ADHD only affected kids, and that it would be outgrown;

2) ADHD only affected boys and not girls.

* Both of these assumptions have been disproven. While the diagnosis rate is still higher on boys than in girls, I think that the realization that ADHD presents differently in girls is finally spreading through the mental health profession.

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