boredom and Adhd

[adhdmamawma]

Hello, my son is 6yrs old with ADHD. He is on medication which helps some. But he still complains about being bored a lot. Any suggestions for that and do you have a similar problem?

[FamilyLove85]

Oh wow! Yes! My son is 6 yrs old also and is always asking what can he do now, even when doing something and is always saying he’s bored. I have been bringing him to a playground which helps for the time being. I am less than an hour new on here and will be following this post for sure .

[Onthemove1971]

I think this is very common for kids with ADHD. I once heard someone say it's they are like a "Ferrari car on roller skates" .

There are many activities they can learn to do by themselves.

Chess is a great activity where this could lead to clubs as he gets older. They can also have an App or go online and play with another person.

Rubric cubes are also so entertaining.

Legos- starting simple and growing.

Parkore class_ where they jump and flip and run...

Tae Kwan Do- this is a great individual sport where they can practice with others and then they can do it in a group as they get older.

Hope this helps, it is important for them to stay busy because then they don't get into trouble.

Take care

[STEM_Dad in reply to Onthemove1971]

Those are some good ideas, spanning physical, intellectual and creative activities. That was my own idea, to make sure that kids have different types of activities to choose from.

[Mamamichl]

my daughter is 9, and complains about it still at times. Extracurricular activities help, but as parents, we can’t always entertain them. I read an article how boredom helps kids with their imagination. Have drawing/coloring on hand, things to interact with the outdoors, and teach them the schedule with times you are able to play. It seems to help.

[Peerandparent]

It's hard, but I tend to let them be bored (I've got an 8yo son with ADHD, and a 4yo daughter who likely has it too)

The thing with boredom is that it can turn into a driving behaviour. Boredom can lead to creativity, and it can lead to productivity. Surviving boredom is also a skill they will need in adulthood, since there WILL be things in life they have to do that are dull as dishwaster.

That being said, if there's a boring task, having something that stimulates the senses they don't need for the task can go a long way. Something they can fiddle with without looking at it when they need to pay attention to someone, some music or an audiobook when doing chores... That sort of thing.

When my son has gotten bored, it once lead to him cleaning some of his room so he could make a Lego stop motion movie. For my daughter it meant learning to play with her dolls by herself. Boredom can lead to good things!

[Bbtwinsies2]

I always found at that age that I had to treat the house like a preschool. Put choices out every morning out for him or make him a visual schedule. It’s very hard for children with adhd to make their own choices of what to play with. A little guided suggested always helps.

[FamilyLove85 in reply to Bbtwinsies2]

Agree! Especially if they are an only child. This is a hard one. Especially when their little mind just races from one thing to another and they can’t pay attention long.

[GMarie76]

My son is now 11, but we have a small whiteboard and we make a schedule and then it is agreed upon. Deviations are necessary sometimes and that builds another skillset.At that age you could make the schedule together.

Hint we do not go digital to digital meaning we add equivalent tike to read, go outdoors, or some other play or non-digital entertainment so he does not sit on a computer all day!

[STEM_Dad]

Every child is unique. They will each develop their own likes and interests, habits and tendencies.

Get to know your son. He will go through a few changes over the years, but right now he's at an age when his personality is forming, and it's a great age to try to instill good qualities in him.

[Quick side note: I've read a few articles in the last couple of years from experts saying that it's okay to be bored sometimes. That might be true, but as parents, we know that when a kid is bored they might either become very vocal about it, or might start getting into mischief.]

Some things you might try:

• With your son, come up with a list of ideas of "things to do" that he can check when he's bored or looking for ideas. (This has worked sometimes with my kids, but not always. It worked okay when my kids were younger, like your son.)

• Make sure that there are some things to do out in the open. A few books, puzzles (which includes brain games like Rubik's Cube), a couple of fidgets, toy cars, coloring/activity books. Maybe change up some of what's kept out every couple of months, for variety. (It might be a trade-off between keeping the house as tidy as you want, and keeping a few things out to spark interest.)

• I kept a bunch of dress up things (hats and helmets and vests for my son, princess dresses and bead necklaces and fairy wands for my daughter, goofy sunglasses, pirate eye patch and hook, etc) in a bin, so the kids could engage in imaginary play.

• Sometimes (but not all the time) when your son says he's bored, then take a little time to play with him, or take him to a playground, or something else that you and he might both enjoy.

-----

I have 4 kids, all very different from each other. (None with an ADHD diagnosis, yet, but all with at least some mild-to-moderate ADHD traits).

Girl, (now 29), extroverted, sociable and independent, was able to play on her own a lot (was an only child for 8½ years). When she said, "I'm bored", it meant that she wanted me to play with her.

• She has two kids the same ages as my youngest two, older girl and younger boy. (Makes for a unique family dynamic; the four young ones are sort of all best friends the way some cousins are. Not really relevant to this post, though.)

Boy, (now 21), introverted, but fairly sociable and indepent. "I'm bored" usually meant that he had been playing on his own for 4 to 5 hours, could have been one activity or a dozen, and had either run out of ideas or wanted social contact, like us playing a video game together. I heard those words the least often from him.

Boy, just turned 11, somewhat extroverted, but socially anxious outside of family and circle of friends. He is used to always having his older brother or younger sister available to play with, but for the last couple of years has mainly wanted to play video games (with someone or by himself). "I'm bored" usually means "I'm bored to the point of frustration, and nobody wants to do what I want to do." (He wants to be the leader, and he usually wants to get his way.)

Girl, 8½, introverted, but sociable and fairly independent. She is very curious and creative. She could play on her own for hours, or she can play with other kids for hours (but she has now caught on that her 11 year old brother wants to call all the shots, and she's pushing back; she may be sweet and nice, but she's no pushover, she's definitely assertive). "I'm bored" usually means "I want to go somewhere" (like a park, or shopping, or find other kids to play with)... It also usually means that she's made a mess somewhere and wants to do anything but clean it up. (I mentioned that she's creative... That includes experimenting with making art or with ingredients in the kitchen.)

Like I said at the top... get to know your kid(s). You will undoubtedly find out something interesting about him(them).

[Klmamma]

At that age I had things that resemble preschool centers set up and would change them frequently. I'm bored.....go do one of your centers please.

You can set a timer for him to beat each day with a goal of playing for 10 minutes.

Legos, puzzles, rubix cube, reading books, orbee water beads, kinetic sand, perler beads, scratch off pictures, magnatiles, dominis, marble mazes. STEAM toys are really what interests most of these kids. I'd get my kid started on a project and then walk away. Mine still doesn't like to be alone for very long but he will play in the house as long as he can check in frequently to make sure I haven't left him. He's still bored, my 43 year old husband is still bored every minute of the day. It's just the way it is for them. They also say they're tired ALL the time, but they're usually not physically tired. He needs to learn to be bored and figure out things to do bc with these kiddos, idle hands really are the devils playground lol

[Imakecutebabies in reply to Klmamma]

"They also say they're tired ALL the time, but they're usually not physically tired."

What does "I'm tired" mean for your kids?

Mine usually gets very "tired" when I ask him to do something he doesn't wish to do.

[Klmamma in reply to Imakecutebabies]

Tired is bored and tired for them is not being able to motivate themselves to do something they don't want to do. He may REALLY want to listen and do what you've asked, he can just can't force himself to. It's the reason why they can say they're too tired to clean their room but aren't too tired to go to the park for 5 hours. A huge part of ADHD is that they have zero internal motivation for non preferred tasks. We know it's better to get unwanted things over with quickly, their brains just avoid it to the point of it never getting done. This is a skill that needs to be learned bc this isn't something that goes away in adulthood. Task avoidance is a hallmark trait that remains throughout their lives.

We have always been an open book with our son on what his struggles are. We sit down and discuss what needs to be done, and let him set small rewards for himself to stay motivated. For example....if I clean my room I can reward myself with a 30 minute show before I do my next task. Keeping things small and managable for them and teaching them to do this planning throughout their lives is something taught in CBT.

MMedication doesn't completely fix this either. Medication does wonders and really gives them the focus they need to get to the planning tools, lists, charts etc they need to function on a daily basis. It's amazing, but not a cure all. Pills don't teach skills and I say that as being a person who would go back and start meds at age 4 if I could. ADHD needs to be treated from SO many different angles to be properly treated.

[WYMom]

My situation is a bit more than most could do because we have a lot of land. So we have a military style obstacle course and a path they can ride bikes/e-scooters on. We have a swimming pond and jungle gym. We have trees to climb and bugs/animals to discover. We also have 2 trampolines. Excessive, yes.Inside we have very minimal toys. I can't handle a large inventory. Gym mats, of which we have 3, are a popular item. They can make them into forts, do exercises and use pillows to sumo wrestle on them.

Our unfinished basement has scooters and bikes and skates in it.

So they bounce around things and if they tell me they are bored they have to do a chore. They stop complaining quick.

ADHD kids are easily overwhelmed. I found when I purged nearly every toy the kids played more and more creatively. So get a few multi functional toys and ditch the rest.

[Knitting20projects in reply to WYMom]

That is awesome!!!!

[BlueStripedMama]

I love everything about this post and these ideas - thank you for the question and the answers! They help me too because we are often in this boat. Our go-to ideas for my 9 year old who has ADD are creative items -- but with variety around gross motor and fine motor movement. Usually she is just feeling like she wants to do something but can't focus enough to land on anything. Here are a few examples of ways I suggest redirection for her -- sometimes she does one of these, and sometimes they lead her to her own idea that she finds en route to one of these! The examples we go to are --

* Take one of the cardboard boxes we have in the basement and make something cool with it (robot, car, cave, train car for stuffed animals).

* Art challenge - can you make something interesting that includes pipe cleaners, at least 2 pom poms and feathers?

* Build a fort - out of our sofa cushions, out of sheets and binder clips, out of our fort-making sticks? Then have snack by flashlight in the fort!!

* Mix cornstarch, water and food coloring and go out and paint on our driveway. (It is SO colorful).

[Rosie232]

At my house we call it "understimulated." It's important to have a variety of stimulating activities: gross motor, fine motor, arts and crafts, reading, listening.

When my son tells me that he "has nothing to do"

I try to empathize saying "it feels that way huh?" And then I say "I can think of somethings for you to do" I ask if he "wants to hear my ideas" and he says no.

If he is really struggling/ on the verge of melting down I will suggest bath/shower, or offer to read him a book or go to the park, play a board game together.

Sometimes he is having a really hard time though and a fight seems inevitable. Other times he finds something to do on his own.

He has Legos, books, a hammock, audiobooks, and homework he can do.

[lll435]

My son is almost 7. He's very social and being an only child , boredom usually means he just wants to play with other kids. We go to the local parks and libraries. If I can't take him, then I offer some suggestions. If he doesn't like those, then I ask him to pick out a toy to donate or clean his room - that always results in keeping him busy for a while as he gets distracted and starts playing with his toys or reads. He also likes to listen to stories on the home speaker while playing - gives him something to listen to while playing.