ADHD and Dyslexia

[BibleReadinMama]

Hi, I am a mom of a 13yr old boy with ADHD and Dyslexia. He won't talk with anyone he doesn't know. We struggle with him deodorizing. We really struggle with getting him to do schoolwork. He attends online school. He gets 1 on 1 help twice a week. I have to be sitting by his side or he won't do anything. I have a hard time getting him to talk with his teacher. He will not write and does not like to read.

[BigRed2024]

Hello, I know it is a struggle. Have you tried talk therapy?

[BibleReadinMama in reply to BigRed2024]

Hi, No we haven't.

[Mamamichl in reply to BigRed2024]

Talk therapy helps me, but with him not opening up, I’m worried that will be in vain.

[Onthemove1971]

Welcome! Children with ADHD benefit from therapy medication and modification to education. Have you considered getting a 504 plan, the plan is a basic road map for all teachers, yes even online to modify his work. They may also have a specialist can help him with his work.

[BibleReadinMama in reply to Onthemove1971]

Hi yes he has the 504 plan with his IEP. He will do his work in his 1 on 1 sessions but other than that it is very hard to get him to do it.

[Onthemove1971 in reply to BibleReadinMama]

Yes, I understand, ask to that the time with the 1 on 1 be increased until his work is done. Then there is no worry. Just like in public school most kids do not come home with work especially in high school. They finish all there work while at school. There are even study classes, could he get that for him?

[Crazyboymomma]

wish I had advice but I’ve had some of the same problems. My heart goes out to you. It’s not easy. 😔

[Mamamichl]

we struggled with my bonus/stepkid with deodorizing. It took a while to find the professional grade one he would do but now it’s only once every 2-3 days of a fuss. My 9o hates reading on her own too, but she is receptive to audiobooks on one of her fandoms. What does your son like? Minecraft perhaps? Usually I can only get my daughter to do her schoolwork one day a week but once she gets going it’s keeping the momentum. It helps to have a reward for doing it. She gets limited time on her electronics, and gets more time if she does a task we ask of her.

[ScienceAndTravel]

Hi BibleReadinMama ,I want to encourage you that I was had many of the struggles your son has when I was 13. I too have Dislexcia and ADHD. I could hardly motivate myself to do homework and read and writing were so hard.

Each person is unique so what helps him could be different than what helps me but her are a few things that help me.

1. Be positive and encouraging. Encouragement motivates me far more than dead lines or obligations.

2. Provide frequent, short, active breaks. I set a timer and take a 5 minute break after every 20 minutes of work.

3. Point him towards learning to understand his Dislexcia and ADHD. Suggest that he watch a fun YouTube on ADHD such as "How To ADHD". Learning to help himself could be the best thing he learns in life.

I hope this helps!

P.S. Though my mom thought I would never make it through school I did I even went to college and grad school in my 30s. Mom's love and encouragement is central to my success.

[Onthemove1971]

Another suggestion is finding out how the school is supporting your child's needs related to his Dyslexia. Children often feel overwhelmed by the amount of work and the way they have to do the work. So does the school have ways to help teach your son what to do. For example: when he is required to read a passage is there an audio version so he can look at the print and put a headset on an listen. Do the audio run a highlighted bar across the words as it is speaking so he can keep up and he is reading? All of this supports his "style" of learning.

Him learning how to break down the lesson is also important and do part then take a run around break. These are not skills young children can do on their own. Is there a timer for how long he has to sit and do the work and rhen he will know he can take the break.

The way the ADHD brain works is they think it is to overwhelming.

Maybe have a conversation with him and ask why he doesn't want to do the work on his own. He most likely does not have the maturity to do it on his own. Most children with ADHD are about 2 years behind their peers.

Let us know what you find out.

[Aloysia]

Instead of having him talk to his teacher, try having him email his teacher. He could use speech-to-text to get the words typed or type them up himself. Or you could type in the words he says out loud to you. This may be an easier form of communication for him. Additionally, he may have undiagnosed anxiety that is contributing to his social reticence. But if it's a new shyness, then it could just be a phase.

Needing someone by your side to do the work is sometimes called "body doubling". You could look into other ways for him to get that help in the future. For example: homework programs at local libraries, friend groups doing HW at the same time (either in the same location, or virtually), etc.

Alternatively, some kids do well with music on or boring TV in the background while doing HW.

Be prepared to experiment. Ask your kid what he needs or what he thinks would work best. Then try it for a trial period. Then evaluate whether it was effective or not. Do you move on to another method? Stay with the same method? Tweak the original method? He needs to start being part of the solution even if you need to play 20 questions with him to get a few ideas out of him. It's a trouble-shooting skill that needs to be learned. Be patient - it will take time, but keep with it.