3 year old

[Agrimes787]

my daughter is 3 and I am afraid she has ADHD. She interrupts people, does not like to wait, impulsive and just lately it has been crying after cry after tantrum back to back. Like 3 to 5 minutes apart. It’s like her only way to communicate. We try talking to her, we try communicating feelings and nothing works. My partner and I are just at a loss on what to do. Help?

[Onthemove1971]

Welcome, we are glad you have joined us. Have you considered contacting your local school district and ask for an assessment for services? Most school district can help with preschool service.

Please let us know how it goes and if you are able to get support.

[Parentingishardwork]

hey there. Try not to get too despondent. I have an amazing little girl that is just about to turn 3. She has embraced the terrible 2’s with enthusiasm and has meltdowns like I’ve never seen before with my other kids. These meltdowns are incredibly loud, extended and won’t stop until she either gets her own way or she runs out of steam

My son has ADHD and my immediate thought was - oh no, not again….

My doctor said not to worry too much yet as she may just be a defiant independent kid. So we are going to wait another year or so and see how she develops without trying to label her. Every child is different.

Regardless, if she is we know there’s help and support out there. If that is what’s happening with your child then just love them, get help early (before 5 helps), and learn the art of patience. It’s quite the journey.

Good luck

Greg

[Brazilianmom]

the “threenager” years can be hard . My daughter at this age had similar behavior and was just phase that she outgrew. I am not minimizing your worries by no means, , I just remember these big feelings being what defined the age of 3 for my daughter (she doesn’t have adhd). . How does she do at day care of school ?

[Trying1978]

Oh man, do I hear you!

We have 2 kiddos with ADHD and then a 3 year old, who fits the profile to a T. But this has been the consensus we've run across so far. She might have it, and it's more likely because of genetics (My wife does too), but there's no way really to know at 3 for ADHD, and any behavioral interventions at 2 would looks like good, calm, non reactive parenting anyway.

I really liked the Parenting a Spirited Child book at ages 2-3 for the older two.

I feel you, though. I spend so much time working with the older two on ADHD stuff that I sometimes find myself automatically saying things to our 3 year old on the way back from days are like, "How do you feel? Can you finish this sentence: I feel..." and then, when she answers, saying, "Thank you for telling me. What's making you feel that way?" Lol.

But, honestly, the more you read about what you think it might be, the more tools you will put in your toolbox, as they say.

I don't know where you are but the wait is 1 year for a full ped neuropsych eval out here, so, if you're worried about other conditions too, I'd see your Dr and get started on that process.

As for ADHD, though, our child psychiatrist said that the Venn diagram between being a 3 year old and ADHD had so much overlap that it was really hard to tell.

Hang in there! I've always found 3 to be the hardest age, regardless 😁

[Mamamichl]

I can totally relate. My stepkid is 14 now and when they were 3, they actually punched my boss over nap time (I worked at a daycare). When they hit kindergarten there were room clears weekly over things they felt were embarrassing. Achool tried to label them as autistic, but at that time I worked in aba and with autistic kids and so we decided on a neurological evaluation through the pcp. T took 6 months, but doc said they were adhd with dmdd tendencies. The kiddo was put into secluded special education classes with 12 boys until 5 th grade and transitioned back. In that time, my kiddo was able to learn a lot of coping strategies that help them today even.

[Agrimes787 in reply to Mamamichl]

wow I can relate to this. Thank you so much!

[Mamamichl in reply to Agrimes787]

of course! Emotional outbursts are quite common with adhd. Rejection sensitivity is part of it. I recommend watching videos from “how to adhd” or “adhd_love”

[LisethHIS]

Hello Agrimes,

Thank you for contacting CHADD's National Resource Center on ADHD. Our recommendation would be to consult with her pediatrician. The healthcare provider should be able to determine if there is possible ADHD or if there is another condition that can explain the symptoms better. Here is a link that can be helpful. chadd.org/for-parents/presc...

chadd.org/professional-dire...

chadd.org/for-parents/behav... and chadd.org/for-parents/overv...

If you have further questions, please let us know. We are here to help!

Liseth

Health Information Specialist

CHADD’s National Resource Center on ADHD

chadd.org

[Knitting20projects]

I would also ask your pediatrician if they think she might benefit from a speech therapy referral to get her speech skills evaluated carefully. She may have a subtle communication delay that is causing her frustration (I don’t mean it’s the cause for everything). I’ve been there with our son (now 12), and it was very stressful and isolating as a parent. You’re not alone.

[Pema20]

we always talk about the “terrible twos” but often it’s the threes that are worse. I agree with others to talk with your pediatrician. Little ones will often act out when their brains are going through big developmental jumps. They have a whole bunch of new skills and interests, but not always the tools in their tool box to use them well. Development is not linear. Only a pediatrician or child psychologist can assess if it’s a normal developmental phase or something else. For you, consider a group for parenting little ones. If nothing else, it can help to talk to other parents who are also pulling thier own hair out in distress. Parenting toddlers is exhausting!!!! I assure you you are not alone.

[Knitting20projects]

Also, 3 is a very tough age in parenting! Much harder than 2. If you can try to praise whatever you can see her doing that’s positive, do that. Trust me, I’ve been there and it was a huge struggle. You can do this!!!