I just joined today because I have been frantically looking for any support I can find after the day we had yesterday. We have a 10 yo daughter with multiple diagnoses including ADHD. She was actually kicked out of summer camp because of behavior. It’s 100% her impulse control issues.
She was at a museum and climbed on a car that was roped off when she knew she wasn’t supposed to. This was after she shoved a girl on the bus who wouldn’t make more room. I am used to being notified about this type of behavior at school but didn’t expect it at camp. It was a total gut punch and I cannot get out of this funk. I can’t stop crying. I’m scared for her, and I’m emotionally spent.
To make matters worse, she is adopted and I am unclear about biological components. I do know, however, that significant mental illness runs in her bio family (suicide, addiction, bipolar) so I’m terrified for the future. What if ADHD is the wrong diagnosis? She rages, lacks impulse control, has little frustration tolerance, has several tics, stims, and has sensory issues.
This mama’s heart is breaking. Anyone else have a kiddo with similar symptoms?
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That sounds very stressful. Are you comfortable sharing her diagnoses? There may be others here who have experienced the same challenges. What type of professional(s) have seen her and is she on any treatment? Behavioral or medication?
With you knowing your daughters health bio its best case to get her evaluated as quickly as possible. It sounds like she needs some professional help with medication as soon as possible. Doing this will diffently relief your stress and anxiety.
She has officially been diagnosed SPD, ADHD, and OCD. She is on an non-stimulant and Prozac. She has seen a dozen professionals. Everyone from therapists to psychiatrists to neurologists. She was screened for ASD. They said she had several overlapping symptoms but didn’t meet the criteria.
That sure sounds like a challenging group of issues! I bet she has many times daily when she feels overwhelmed or lacks the coping skills for various situations. My only experience that might help is that our son’s executive functioning skills were way lower than his academic intelligence. (He has ASD & ADHD & I know your daughter doesn’t have ASD). He will freeze & sometimes lash out verbally etc. Very rarely, he will gently push me away to exit a situation because he truly cannot tolerate the interaction and, when stressed, suddenly has zero coping abilities. Kind of like if I’m mad, and I feel like I’ve lost 50 IQ points (ask my husband when we argue. I suddenly go blank & can’t argue my point). So we are working hard on those. I guess maybe if a psychologist could identify those EF weaknesses and target those with practice? Eg help her with concrete skills like problem solving or whatever “in the moment” skills she’s struggling with? Task switching, transitions, etc. Or even teach her to identify the “uh oh, I feel myself starting to boil” sensation and have an memorized “I need a break” socially acceptable script, with adult supervisors aware of this plan? I’m wondering if she “erupts” for many different reasons and needs an escape plan to cool down? Even if she doesn’t have autism, if she has ADHD, she has EF weaknesses. Hugs. It is so, so, SO hard parenting these kids. I adore mine and yet it is the hardest thing I do. Excuse the rambling!!! Sometimes I think of additional suggestions as I post.
It must have been so upsetting. I can see how you thought about the holiday camp as something fun and that she would not jeopardise it like this. However is she does have sensory stuff going, maybe she did feel ‘ok much’ on that crowded bus? And then this plus poor impulse control and you are cooked… She has tics… Does she also have vocal tics, sniffing etc- maybe you need to have her screened for Tourette syndrome. If she has tics she shouldn’t be on stimulants for ADHD. Or at least if you think stimulants help her then she should have Guanfacine short acting or Intuniv added as Intuniv is even off licence helpful with Tourette’s… Ther rate other meds for Tourette’s which aren’t normally given in ADHD. In Tourette’s people can get rages too so it can be easy as that- diagnosing this and everything else will fall into place.
Many people when they are young they are nightmare and then they settle… Look at Courtney Love (she was in and out offenders institutions and all theoubked and she survived and how well! It’s her husband who killed himself…). And no, I don’t know how creative your daughter is and I don’t say she is like Courtney Love😉
You did a very good thing - adopting. Doing good things always pays off eventually even if you don’t feel it now.
Well, I am going by research and evidence based- tics are listed within most common side effects.
This is not about ‘scaring people’ - but maybe you work for a big pharma company that produces Methylpenidate or amfetamins medications of some sort😂
It’s about informed choice for patients and weight pros and cons and choosing what’s best for their child and how the child functions in this world.
I never write here anything that I just googled or someone told me. I look in medical journals and then write here. Or I write just like a parent about what happened to my son and of course then it’s a subjective stuff and not based on statistics etc but just what has happened to my son when he was on a medication.
National Institute for Heath and Care excellence states in a list of side effects that tics are side effects of this stimulant (Methylpenidate). I have no time to copy paste about amphetamine but it’s very similar list.
Please see below if you don’t want to click on the link- evidence based information for clinicians about Methylphenidate.
What adverse effects are associated with methylphenidate?
The most common adverse effects of methylphenidate include:
Gastrointestinal effects such as abdominal pain, nausea, vomiting, diarrhoea, dyspepsia, dry mouth, and anorexia.
Cardiovascular effects such as tachycardia, palpitation, arrhythmias, and changes in blood pressure.
Central nervous system effects such as insomnia, nervousness, asthenia, depression, irritability, aggression, headache, drowsiness, dizziness, dysphemia, and movement disorders
.Methylphenidate can impair cognitive function and affect the person's ability to drive. People taking methylphenidate should be told that this medicine may affect their ability to drive and they should not drive if they are affected.
Dermatological effects such as pruritus and rash.
Other adverse effects including reduced weight gain, cough, nasopharyngitis, tics (very rarely Tourette syndrome), fever, arthralgia, alopecia, and growth restriction.
Less common adverse effects include constipation, dyspnoea, dysphemia, abnormal dreams, confusion, suicidal ideation, urinary frequency, haematuria, muscle cramps, and epistaxis.Rarely, angina, sweating, and visual disturbances have been reported.Very rarely, the following have been reported hepatic dysfunction, myocardial infarction, cerebral arteritis, psychosis, seizures, neuroleptic malignant syndrome, tolerance and dependence, blood disorders including leucopenia and thrombocytopenia, angle-closure glaucoma, exfoliative dermatitis, and erythema multiforme, supraventricular tachycardia, bradycardia, and convulsions.
You are welcome
You don’t have to thank me for listing it for your information 😉
Nope, I don't work for big pharma. Just a parent who has a child with adhd who has an issue with you making concrete statements like you do. This is not the first time. You state to people frequently what they should be doing or not doing medicine wise with their children and that's just plain dangerous in my opinion. You are NOT their physician. You can absolutely share your experiences you have had with your child but Keep your comments as this could happen or might happen instead of this WILL happen. That's all I will say on this topic.
I am sorry that your child has misread or is putting a different meaning to my posts!
There is a freedom of speech however.
For me a worry is why a child is reading this without a supervision and a guidance from an adult such as parent/carer.
If I copy information from National Institute for Clinical Excellence - research based information is there and physicians in the UK use it. Also this institute shapes what NHS (National Health) in the UK does- for example sets best practice guidance for prescribing in the whole NHS and for private sector. This is evidence based information. Not something made up by me!
Lol what are you talking about lady? No where in my post does it say I let my 8yr old read these posts..nor would he care to. But I forgot, your the expert in all things.
Just a reminder that information shared by users on HealthUnlocked is not medical advice and that this content does not replace the relationship between you and doctors or other healthcare professionals nor the advice you receive from them.
That's correct, not everyone will react the same to medication. This is especially true with ADHD and co-occurring conditions. That's why it's best to communicate with your child's doctor to find the best treatment that is individualized to your child.
Also, there are quite a few conditions in additions to tics and Tourette Syndrome which commonly occur alongside ADHD: chadd.org/about-adhd/coexis.... You might also find this information about Tics and Tourette Syndrome: chadd.org/about-adhd/tics-a... to be helpful.
Thank you for posting this. That was all I was trying to say. Kids/Adults react differently to medications. In one child stimulants could make tics worse and in another it could actually help. That's why it's dangerous and unethical to be telling other parents what they should or should not be giving their children.
She has one vocal tic (throat clearing) and two facial tics. She is on a non-stimulant. She has not been officially diagnosed with Tourette’s. Her psychiatrist wants to wait to see if she outgrows them. She says tics are VERY common in children, and they often subside.
It's too bad, since you don’t have more information to see if there is a family history of tics and or Tourette.
How long has she had tics? I know that most childhood tics are transient but for example my son has had tics on and off for 4 years and then it means it’s not transient…
The thing about importance of diagnosis is that then school and everyone else can take onboard and use strategies in relation to Tourette’s. Because Tourette’s is not only tics!
I can relate as can many people on this forum. It’s common for people with neuro differences to have comorbid diagnosis and symptoms. A neuropsychological exam is very in-depth and can help you feel confident in a diagnosis.
Your child can simply have ADHD and it’s at a peak or she needs more support to calm her nervous system. My son with ADHD doesn’t do crowds, big classrooms and struggles with typical summer camps.
I have ADHD and it was noticeable as a child but being female in the 1980s and 1990s lead to a delay in diagnosis until age 40. I have a bachelors and masters degree, attended an Ivy League school and paid for it all myself. It’s not doom and gloom but kids with ADHD are extra! I also get very, very anxious for my child with ADHD when he struggles.
she has had to low very in-depth exams. ASD was ruled out, and she was diagnosed with SPD and ADHD. Her neurologist and psychiatrist later diagnosed OCD. Thank you for sharing your success story. I’m a natural worry (understatement of the year!) and a pessimist. I often see such a bleak future for her. 😞
Listen to some related Podcasts for encouragement. You’re not alone and it’s a journey of ups and downs. If you’re going to be a good support you’ll need you’re own support system.
my stepdaughter almost had me fired for punching my boss in the face when I worked in daycare over nap time… I get kiddos making impulse decisions. I bet she feels bad too. Definitely talk with her about what she did and the outcome was, and find a game plan for what she could do if this happened again,or if there are any accommodations you and others could make to help her not that stressed. If she has adhd, fidgets sometimes help, or weighted blankets.
Have you had her screened for autism (asd)? Some of the symptoms you described may be in asd diagnosis, and aba therapy may be beneficial. I worked in aba for a while, and the repetition may help curb her impulsiveness.
Remember, take care of yourself as well and think about what you’re working with today, not thinking about the future.it doesn’t help to catastrophizing about the future.
Does your kiddo have an iep/504 in place? If so, we usually show summer camps so they can practice similar strategies (sometimes a one page description of your kid help people know what to do or avoid). What helped for my stepdaughter was to be in a special Ed classroom to learn coping skills from 1st through 5th grade then transitioned into mainstream. She’s doing quite well in 8th this year. Medications help too, and she’s been a vegetarian for 6 years (by choice).
ugh! That impulse control!! It’s awful. Yes, ASD was ruled out. She does not have an iep or 504. We haven’t needed one yet. She just finished 4th grade, and it was our first challenging school year. Prior to this, 90% of her struggles were at home. So we will see what happens.
if possible, request an iep evaluation or at least 504. We got our 504 the last 2 weeks of class and it basically just labels preferential seating, specific opportunities other kids don’t have and extra check in’s… oh and more fidgets. Her new teacher next year won’t need us to start all over with her accommodations but then they will have an idea of her triggers and needs that are different than the norm. Nothing major at this time. You could request that she have her own seat on the bus too, likely, so that she doesn’t have something like this happen. Nothing wrong with asking. Another idea is to have teacher and child document how often they need redirection. As kids grow and mature, kids with adhd fall behind socially (and rarely academically). Another thing that helps us is to have more role playing of social situations.
I have never experienced behavior to that extreme with my child but I am in touch with that gut punch, sad, upset feeling over a behavioral moment. So, I'm just sending a virtual hug. Take a moment, take a deep breath, hug your child, make a plan on how to go forward, and press on to find what your child needs.
My now 16 yr old grandson could never last more than 1-2 days at summer camp. I think the ĺack of structure was more than he could handle but it is embarrassing. It takes years of med adjustments and counseling and some maturity to get through this.
You are doing the right thing by reaching out for help. And God bless you for adopting her. She’s so fortunate to have you. My son is on Jornay (methylphenidate) and it helps him a lot. He has almost none of the side effects described. He does metabolize the medicine quickly so he has a period of time each night where his ADHD symptoms are exacerbated. And he developed a tic where he squints his eyes toward the peak time of the medicine course. But that’s it! I am so happy we found something that works for him. I feel your pain - I have days where I cry and think I’m the worst mother he could have bc I feel like I can do more. But it’s so exhausting! It took years to find the right meds and now those days of crying and feeling horrible about myself are infrequent. Hang in there, read all you can about it, and watch the documentary The Disruptors. It will give you hope that your daughter will have a good life and will do many good things and she will be happy. She has you after all!!!
I don't have much to add as far as advice, but I have great empathy for your concerns regarding medical issues with her birth parents and how they will affect your daughter's future. Our son is adopted as well, both of his parents were substance abusers, he was born addicted. We feel like "most" things we have a handle on that we can control but always are concerned about what traits he may have inherited. I feel for you, keep your chin up Mom!
I am sorry that you are having such a hard time this summer. We are raising our 14-year-old grandson and went through the disappointing experience of his suspension from school this past year for not complying with the school’s rules and behavior requirements. He has never gone to camp, but I did check into a camp that specializes in helping kids with ADHD. It is in Texas, so I don't know how far it is from you. It is called “Charis Hills” and this is the link to their web site: charishills.org/
There are probably camps like this in other states as well. Hopefully you can get some help soon.
I know the awful feeling of a call (many calls) about behavior. My husband had to leave work countless times to get our son from preschool before he was ultimately diagnosed with ADHD & treated successfully with medication. (My job was totally inflexible & I couldn’t be the parent to leave). He finally had to put a special ringtone for preschool, and though this was years ago, if we’re in public & someone else’s phone rings with that tone, poor guy practically jumps.
Maybe at least consider asking her psychiatrist about the balancing act between the tics and the improved impulse control a stimulant might give her (a stimulant might improve her emotional regulation too). It’s a difficult conversation for every child & family, and I don’t know how socially impairing her tics are. However, impulsive, aggressive behavior can be just as socially impairing. Just a thought if it’s something you are interested in discussing with your medication management specialist. (I’m a pediatrician & don’t want to look like I’m saying you need to do this. It’s only a possible idea that occurred to me later as I pondered your situation). You may have already had this conversation long ago. Best wishes and try to take it day by day. If I think far ahead I get too worried about my kids, too. I try to celebrate their little victories now.
Hi - I'm not sure if you got any similar replies here but this is from my experience .
My 9yr old has all aspects of ADHD (focus, fidgety, and impulsive), anxiety and Impulse Disorder. We have a good Psychiatrist. It's been about 4 years with several trials and changes to meds and I expect there will be more trials and changes as she grows (just as we all do). She had the best school year for the first time...but she still stuggles in mornings and late afternoons/evenings when the Vyvanse (for ADHD) isn't in system. Ambilify (we use generic) helps somewhat with Impulsiveness and she also takes a few other meds but trying to make changes now that school is out. She also clears throat and bites nails/fingers.
Besides meds, she is in a social emotional group therapy learning about teamwork, dealing with emotions and self-regulating. Not sure if you've tried any type group therapy or any therapy.
Lastly, my child has an IEP for her behaviors to help her regulate. It's not perfect but it did seem to help this year. With all your child's issues, it sounds like there should be an IEP. Sometimes you need to push your school to evaluate for an IEP. You can try to contact school and see if they will evaluate once school returns or at least try to get some type of meeting for the beginning of school year.
Wish I could help more. I know how heart wrenching it is when our child is struggling and we don't know what to do. Hope this is helpful in any way. Wish you all the best.
Thank you for contacting CHADD's National Resource Center on ADHD. Please know you are not alone!
I had a similar situation with my son, who in hindsight we put in a science camp too early at age 4. Although he is very bright, he was not emotionally mature enough to be by himself. He swore at the camp counselor and was kicked out after 1 or 2 days at camp. I later learned that co-occurring conditions like anxiety or SPD can really play a part as well as the ADHD presentation that your child has. For our son, who has combined presentation, he struggled with impulse control. No doubt he was very anxious at this camp and I learned from that example. Yes, his behavior wasn't appropriate but we realized we were asking too much of a 4 year old (and he had never used inappropriate language before that point). I think as parents, we sometimes forget about "flight or fight" mode when it comes to our kids. Often we need to do some detective work to determine what triggers their behaviors. Your daughter may certainly have been overwhelmed in that situation with people she may have not known and on a crowded bus.
The good news is that CHADD has a wealth of free resources that you can use to support your daughter!
Since your daughter has multiple diagnoses, as most kids with ADHD do, you might like to read more about the common co-occurring conditions: chadd.org/about-adhd/coexisting-conditions/.
Also, the recommended treatment for ADHD, especially for behavioral issues and impulse control, is behavioral therapy commonly referred to as parent training. Here is more information about this type of treatment: chadd.org/wp-content/upload....
Additionally, ADHD commonly occurs in children who are adopted or who have been in the foster care system. If there is any type of trauma that your daughter may have experienced this will certainly affect her symptoms. Here is more information about the link between ADHD and children who are adopted or in foster care as well as resources for parents: chadd.org/adhd-weekly/traum....
Finally, CHADD offers a national Helpline if you are in the United States. We can help you find an ADHD specialist in your area and can help you find other resources to better support your daughter. Our Helpline number is 866-200-8098 (M-F 9am-5pm eastern).
Best wishes to you and your daughter!
Sincerely,
Jami
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Health Information Specialist, Manager
CHADD's National Resource Center on ADHD
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