Lying

[ingrata]

My daughter, 16, exaggerates when expressing her feelings and emotions. (I'm going to kill myself) This has caused her trouble with her friends and at school. Does anyone else have this issue? How do you handle it? Is this an ADHD characteristic? Is there any literature that I could read? I'd appreciate any tips.

[Onthemove1971]

Welcome to the group. I have found that when our son had all of the tools that he needed: therapy, medication and an educational plan he has able to deal with the symptoms of ADHD much easier. When we were trying to get things set up for him, he struggled with impulsive behavior much more.

There are a number of older messages discussing this issue on the site if you search previous message, they may be able to help.

I also felt that his impulsive behavior was what was really the root of the problem. Maturity has helped him a lot in managing this behavior. At times I would discuss this in therapy and we would explain when you did X then Y happened. This helped a lot, but what helped the most was that it was not coming from mom or dad.

I have never seen any articles on this issue. We also did things to prevent the lying, like have locks on pantry to decrease excessive taking of food, etc.

[ingrata in reply to Onthemove1971]

thanks so much. This helps a lot. She’s actually starting therapy and hopefully that would help us have a plan or at least with someone else telling her about consequences.

[MaudQ]

Emotional disregulation is an ADHD symptom: her feelings might actually be that volatile. The same medication that treats ADHD focus issues also (counterintuitively) helps smooth out those rocky feelings. Therapy is perfect for developing the wiser, calmer parts of the mind. It might be a tall ask for a teenager ☺️ but sleep, exercise and sunshine help too. Additionally, she might have stuff going on that is legitimately very upsetting. It might be worth trying to find out if there are some stressors in her life that could be addressed. It’s a funny balance - helping someone calm their mind, while at the some time taking them seriously. We found parent coaching really helpful for this part.

[ingrata in reply to MaudQ]

Thanks so much for your sharing your wisdom. You gave me hope. Luckily I’ve found a therapist that seems to be helping her and coaching me. I just want my daughter to live a productive life.

[Onthemove1971 in reply to ingrata]

How she is now does not indicate how she will be as an adult. I thought the same thing.

Maturity helps a lot.