Looking for support/feedback, might have ADD.. or depression what do you think??

[zora412]

I'm going to try to briefly describe why i think I have ADD

From a young age I always have had trouble focusing, paying attention, and doing homework. When i was taking piano lessons i would cry on the piano stool because the thought of practicing was unbearable. A teacher told my parents that i might have ADHD. i've frustrated just about every teacher I have ever had, even if I enjoy a class I don't know how to get a good grade. My mom is worried about my work ethic, my future and my ability to maintain a job. I have had one job so far as a lifeguard and one of the higher-ups said i was ditzy. My therapist said I seem like I have my head in the clouds and my mind is elsewhere. I often have trouble listening to someone when they talk to me let alone understanding what they are saying. My grades haven't ever improved and I am now a senior in high school. I've cried so many tears over feeling useless, stupid, and unhelpful to the people i love.

I just want to make them proud and prove them wrong but everything seems so much harder for me than it is for my peers. I'm on the brink of my future and lacking hope and confidence. I am going to make plans to get an ADD evaluation but that wont be for some time now.

Any feedback would be helpful, thank you

[Onthemove1971]

It sounds like you are dialed into what is going on. Could you ask your doctor to assess you for ADHD, then you would have answers one way or another. If you do have ADHD you could try new options like medication and get help with things in school, like extra time on assignments, seating, no lie assignme ts, etc.

You could also join some groups so rhey could help you.

Do you have hobbies outside of school? This could help to balance life.

They us know what you do.

Thanks for sharing your struggles.

[eaw49]

Hi your symptoms seem pretty similar to a lot of people I love that have ADHD. They don’t have the hyperactive part but definitely the other stuff. I’m sorry you are feeling like you are failing. What a terrible feeling. It definitely makes things difficult financially and is a blow to self esteem. I just want you to know that even though there are a lot of struggles with those symptoms there are also a lot of gifts. For my daughter, having an ADHD coach and Prozac is helping. She tried ADHD medication in the past and didn’t like the way it made her feel. Not to say that it wouldn’t work for you if that’s what your doctor recommends. Also there is a great magazine called ADDitude magazine that has a lot of helpful information. YouTube also has a lot of great videos that may be helpful also. I hope you get the support you need and a huge boost to your self esteem. You deserve it. You are definitely not alone on this path. youtu.be/jhcn1_qsYmg(Not working as expected?)

[Lingerly]

Hi Zora,

You are not useless or stupid! My wonderful son who is now 21 has expressed the same feelings as you. By the end of his junior year I could see that he was so unhappy and tired, so we decided to try online school for his senior year. Now, online school wasn't that great--he procrastinated quite a bit and I had to offer ALOT of assistance to get through the courses. But, it was self-paced so it lifted the stress of deadlines--AND, most importantly, it created space for him to explore his own interests. Over the next year his negative self-talk decreased and he began to appreciate his own intelligence. Now, the story doesn't end there. He still had a lot of anxiety and he still wanted to go to college. Mid-way through his first semester we took the steps to get a diagnosis. COVID hit, so the process took a while, but schools implemented some flexible policies that helped until he could get on medication and request a formal letter of accommodation.

A few tips for moving forward:

1. Until you can get the diagnosis, learn as much as you can about ADHD and the coping mechanisms and accommodations that support neurodivergent students.

2. Medication will help, and it works immediately--but it may take a few tries to get the optimum dosage.

3. Recognize that ADHD often has "co-morbidities" such as depression. You'll want treatment for that as well. Meds for depression sometimes take a few weeks to show effects.

4. Find advocates! And, advocate for yourself. You have a right to an education where you can be successful. If you go to college, try to connect with a Disability Rights group. These groups treat disability as a civil rights issue and an important element of identity--rather than as a deficit.

5. Get angry when you aren't given the education to which you have a right. Don't internalize the anger and direct it toward yourself. There is a lot about the way education is done that needs improvement. You don't need to be "fixed"--the way we educate needs to be more inclusive.

6. Find allies--especially other students who are neurodivergent. You can support one another, and you will feel less alone.

7. Take the time you need. There is no rule that says you need to--for example--complete college in four years. Be prepared to limit your credit load to twelve credits. If it makes more sense to you to work for a semester before taking the next step, do it.

I wish you the best of luck. My son is now at a R1 university. I'm not going to say it is easy for him--he has to work twice as hard as the typical student, and his grades are always lower than he wants them to be. But--he is pursuing a degree program that interests him at his preferred school, and I can see how the treatments, accommodations, and mindsets are helping to turn things around. I believe the same will happen for you--I can read it in the words you write.