My son is 16. He was diagnosed with ADHD at age 8 . I thought we had a handle on things until Covid struck and he was forced to be home working on a laptop. The stress of not being able to complete assignments and feeling lost and behind on work cause severe anxiety and depression. He did not want to admit he was having trouble and went around basically faking it and telling everyone things were fine. It took a long time to get help because of it.
Richie has been on Fluoxetine and Methylphenidate for almost a year now. For the most part the depression is under control and our biggest struggle is getting to school on time and getting work done. We try to maintain bed time schedule but there are some nights where his brain will not shut off for him to sleep. I can see in his eyes how tired he is and he wants to sleep but just can't shut down.
His therapist suggested I join. Suggestions please on how to get his brain to shut down for sleep that does not include more drugs.
Thank you
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hrs9qa
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So sorry this is happening to him. Sounds like you guys are really working hard.
Here are a few suggestions: weighted blanket, fan, white noise app/machine, warm hot coco before bed, hot bath, soft music, helps to make room cool and dark.
Sleep is so important. They say turn off all electronics 1 hour before bed. We also so not allow electronics in his bedroom.
We sometimes use a long acting Melatonin ( not often) helps so much.
Thanks, my son was on melatonin for 7 years and decided he did not want to take it anymore. Sleep has been hard since then. Yep no tv in his room and screens are off by 9pm with his laptop and phone on the kitchen table. Lights out at 10pm and his room is cool and dark, we have tried everything in your suggestion except for weighted blanket. I am looking forward to getting one.
It sounds like you guys are really doing alot. Have you considered a sleep study? They often do home studies where you just wear a watch like device and it sends all the information in. Maybe worth looking into, you would hate for there to be a real issue and not have a medical doctor help you out.
My daughter is 7, so I don't know if these suggestions would work for a teenager. She also has a very hard time getting to bed. We have an advantage that her medicine comes in the form of a patch and we take it off at 3:30 every day, so she's not getting any more medicine in her system after that. Our bedtime routine consists of:
- instrumental music playing on the Alexa (same music every night)
- TV in her room on, ONLY playing a familiar show she's seen a hundred times so it's comforting but not stimulating. I make sure I turn the TV off after she falls asleep so she can sleep in a dark room. (I admit I had A LOT of guilt with this one because she's so young to have a TV in her room and they say electronics in the bedroom are terrible. But I swear it helps her sleep, and that's all that matters at the end of the day.)
- she eats a piece of string cheese and a banana before bed pretty much every night. (Also another one that I struggled with, but she doesn't eat much when she's on her meds and it's hard to sleep with a growling belly.)
- Melatonin. I hate this one because I'm still not sure what the long-term effects are. Her pediatrician endorsed the type and amount. We try not to give it to her every night and only give it to her if, after everything else, she still is not falling asleep.
- on nights when her brain is really racing, I'll let her sit in her bed and draw or play with some toys. She also likes math, so sometimes she'll just fill whole pages with math equations. Reading, writing, sketching can all help the mind focus and empty itself. As long as the activity requires little clean-up (like I wouldn't recommend painting because that's more involved. But with reading, writing, or sketching, you can close the book and put your pencils away.
Things like crossword puzzles, word searches, sudoku, origami, could also help.
Yes, ADHD was a simpler time back then. He loved playing board games. His bed was on the top bunk and I could get him to sleep by rubbing his back. Now he's a moody teenager who knows more than me ( according to him). My son was on melatonin for 7 years. Finally he decided he would not take it anymore, that's when sleep got really tough. His meds to focus at school are out of his system by 4pm. I think I will ask him to try playing his guitar on nights when his mind won't shut off. no thought needed for that. thanks for giving me the idea
Great ideas above. There are a couple of apps that have bedtime meditation/relaxation sequences. One is Smiling Mind, the other is Insight Timer. Both are free. Another great distraction is listening to audio books. The hoopla and Libby apps from the public library have a huge amount of books. They also both have a timer feature that allows you to turn the audio book on and set the number of minutes you want to listen before it automatically shuts off. It then saves your place. This is great for closing your eyes and letting go of thoughts of the day. Btw—welcome! This is a great community.
Thank you but we stopped melatonin because he was on it for so long he kept needing higher doses for the same result. His therapist and I are working on teaching him self soothing type techniques that he can use throughout his life.
My suggestion would be to have him do a brain dump before bed. A brain dump is when you write all your ideas and thoughts on paper to get them out of your head. Once they are on paper you can then decide what to do with them. You can use it to create task lists, keep it for later, or even throw it away. It is just about getting it out of your head and on paper. I have ADHD myself and I find that this is the best way to clear my head. Maybe it will work for him as well.
I agree brain dumps can be very helpful when your brain is churning too much at bed time. You might also try a sunrise light/alarm clock in the morning to help reset the circadian rhythms.
We tried the light for circadian sleep cycle but he broke it within a week. He was very angry back then and we have made progress with therapy. I may try it again, not sure yet. Thanks,
My son is also 16 and struggles to sleep. What works for him is 100mg of 5htp , but he never wants to take it. I have been watching lately the Dr. Huberman Postcast and there are some tips. You can google him and there is a video of Science of Stress, Calm and Sleep (youtu.be/Ft9N2-CEPzc) I hope you find some thing that works for him.
Exercise exercise exercise. Any amount of physical activity does wonders for my kid. I make it a point to do this every day with him after school. Does he like any type of sport? Exercise is better than therapy! Or rather is therapy.
No he is not interested in sports. High school does give him some physical activity but probably not enough. He is battling depression with his ADHD so getting him to move is hard. I'm hoping when the weather is nicer he will be interested in hanging out with friends at the park after school. He did that every day before this last bout with depression.
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