Managing Life w/ ADHD

[Chrysalis3]

Looking for Moms I can connect with to message about being a working Mom, meal planning and self-care AND cleaning. The whole shebang! My brain feels like I'm on cloud 9, I'm about to explode and more... Look forward to hearing from you thank you

[MomOfSuperheroes]

Hi! We are an ADHD household. It's tough, for sure, because everyone is putting things down in odd places, forgetting what they're doing, and halting chores/tasks in the middle in favor of something else.A lot of the ADHD hacks do work for us (alarms, lists, time-boxing, habit bundling, body doubling, etc.) but our home is also just different from others in our neighborhood. Next door, it's Better Homes and Garden; here, it's more Controlled Chaos. Marie Kondo would not approve, but we do have a System that works for us (works enough, at least - usually, basically).

There is a book I love that I think all moms dealing with mental-health-anything should read, "How to Keep House While Drowning." It's food for thought for both working moms and SAHMs.

If you or anyone else has a favorite resource, please share. I'm all ears! (Bc actual eyeball reading can be too heavy a lift for my brain sometimes :p)

[Chrysalis3 in reply to MomOfSuperheroes]

Hello there! thank you so much for responding.

Wow where do i begin. Thank you for the read. Maybe they have an audio version. I put my EarPods on and i just listen to everything. it soothes me while i am doing things around the house.

My biggest issues is prioritizing and where to start once you sit down to get the work done. For example meal planning once i sit down i get very overwhelmed and by the end of the hour i got nada! at least nothing new. I hope I make sense...😌😩

[MomOfSuperheroes in reply to Chrysalis3]

I feel your pain. It sounds like you are already working in a time box. Would it help to have someone sit with you and work, over zoom if necessary? They don't need to be doing the same thing as you. Something about the presence drives me to focus more.Our family has lots of routines, and that includes food. I have a basic grocery list, and I know Tuesday is Taco night, Wednesday is pasta night, Thursday is grill, etc. This way, your meal planning is a much lighter lift bc you can use some variation of the same plan each week. My kids literally eat the same breakfast and sandwich every weekday. They are happy with it, and I do my best to throw in a little variety when I can. A less-stressed mom is better than a broad culinary experience, I figure!

[Chrysalis3 in reply to MomOfSuperheroes]

Thank you s much!

[Alohomora18]

Hi there! I get where you are coming from... I was recently diagnosed with ADHD as a 34 year old. My husband and son both have ADHD and we are waiting to see if my daughter eventually shows signs of ADHD. I feel like I constantly lose track of myself but also that I have to keep track of all of the rest of my family's stuff. I'm trying to find ways to feel like I am more in control over all aspects of my life - personal, professional, relationships, and also keeping myself grounded and in the moment with my kids to help them understand that it's ok to have feelings and be overwhelmed. I want to be their safe space. I've read some really good books recently on ADHD to get a better understanding of the condition and how it affects me, my hubs, and my kids since it's all different. 🤨All of us do really well with routines, and I've found that both my son and I have to know about changes well in advance to not feel overwhelmed. Loud noises, bright lights, etc. all contribute to our over-stimulation so I'm working on finding ways to combat that for both of us. We also started about a year ago to make Sundays our "no people day" so that we can all recharge to start our week. It has helped so much with not getting burnt out during the week and flying off the handle so to speak. I'd love to communicate more about what works and doesn't work for others who have ADHD. 😁

[anirush]

I belong to Sam's Club and we did a lot of quick fix foods. They have casseroles you could pop in the oven, things you can quick fix in the air fryer. Always added some kind of vegetable to make it healthier. But you gotta do what you can do.

[WYMom]

I do not have ADHD but my husband and 2 of our 3 kids do. For meal planning we have a meeting every single Sunday where we take the fridge menu off and plan meals for every day as a team. We also go over the calendar and write down events for each day. I do limit my children's activities to one at a time. Then we make the shopping list at the same time.

As for cleaning, I personally hate it. So, I'm a minimalist. The less stuff you have the cleaner a house looks. For my kids, they have a set time to clean the playroom. They know that when time is up I will bring the broom in and everything on the floor or piled on a flat surface will be swept up and trashed. It's greatly reduced our inventory. Sometimes my middle child struggles with that but I tell her no person can handle that much stuff and it's ok to let go. We personally have no stuff in kids rooms, everything is in the playroom. So bedroom cleanup is a breeze. Also, no electronics until chores are done so they are highly motivated most of the time.

I was very fond of The Minimal Mom on YouTube for years but it seems like she just sells things now. However her early videos on minimalism and meal planning are really great so check her out.

Clutterbug is an ADHD Mom that is great too.

[Chrysalis3 in reply to WYMom]

thank you so much

[Goodtrouble]

happy to connected , I hear you

[Mamamichl]

hi! I’m a mom of a kid that’s 10, and part time with my 15yo stepkid. I am the main bread winner and do a decent amount of meal planning too, which is hard because I have 1 kid that’s picky (wants nothing but chicken strips), and another who is vegetarian. Feel free to pm e!

[SSBGizmo]

I am a mom of my lovely and sweet 6 y/o son recently diagnosed w/ ADHD. It can get crazy sometimes but we are managing his behavior by keeping him busy with swimming (that is his favorite recreational activity; tried at least four other activities that he ended up hating), going on play dates with his friend, playing outside with his dog and minimizing screen time to 30 minutes to one hour a day, not everyday. We and other people like relatives and friends have noticed a significant improvement in his behavior and how he portrays himself. We had to make this change with minimizing screen time because in the past few months we had noticed that his screen time had gotten out of controlled like 2 hours a day on most days and that would wire him up and worsen his behavior. Plus as parents we need to look at our behavior, because children do feed off of it and will often mimic our behavior whether positive or negative. I know it can be hard to stay cool with a child that has ADHD and all the emotions and behaviors that come with it, but I have noticed that when my husband and I are cool and relaxed and don't yell even though he sometimes yells at us, he deescalates and his behaviors turns positive and pleasant. Additionally, reading The Complete ADHD Parenting Guide for Boys (they have one for girls) by QC Harmony and The ADHD Parenting Guide for Boys (they also have one for girls) by Richard Bass has helped so much to understand our child and how to behave appropriately as parents. Anyway, I hope some of this helps you out and your kiddo. Feel free to PM me, even if it just to vent. I know I need to vent sometimes to other parents with a kiddo w/ ADHD, other than venting to my husband. It just feels helpful to know other people are doing it too and managing it.