New member seeking support and understanding

[Boy-mom]

Hi, I’m new to this site. I have 2 boys, and my oldest (just shy of 7yrs old) was diagnosed with ADHD about a year ago, combined type. He has a 504 plan and has wonderful support in his school. He just started 1st grade. Outside school he really struggles in social environments. Especially with his impulsive actions and reactions and it breaks my heart to see how piers sometimes look at him. I hope to learn what has helped others in supporting their kids with similar issues and all that comes with a child and household dealing with ADHD. It would be great to connect with other parents who are going through this.

[SurvivorFan]

Hi☺ This site really is a great tool to hear others experiences and ask specific questions. Of course these are all our different stories and opinions so good to always keep that in mind.

I have a 6 1/2 yr old little guy with ADHD.

Social skills is of course a big struggle for these kiddos.

Is your son taking any medication? We noticed a great inprovement in our son when we started him on Methylphenidate (stimulant) and Guanfacine. It has helped his focus and impulsivity a lot. Now that being said he still does struggle a bit with peer social interactions. Maturity wise kids with adhd are 2 to 3 years behind their age so it can make it difficult for them to connect with kids their age. They usually do better with younger kids and adults. That doesnt mean you cannot start implementing strategies now to help him🤗

A post that I found on here talking about the ADHD dude has been the second biggest game changer for our house. He has a you tube channel as well as a parent membership site. No "fluff" straight to doable strategies. (very affordable) I could go on and on about all the ways we have seen improvement through using his parent videos but just check him out and see if his style suites you and your family!

[Sara141 in reply to SurvivorFan]

Hi Can you provide the you tube channel name please

[SurvivorFan in reply to Sara141]

Sure! Just look up ADHD DUDE on you tube and you can either watch all the seperate videos or subscribe. If you like it I highly recommend visiting his membership website. This is the parenting website he has created and truly has been so much help in our house. His name is Ryan Wexelblatt

[Onthemove1971 in reply to Sara141]

Here is one of his videos:youtu.be/OGdlmUP2bQU(Not working as expected?)

Click on his title and it will list all of his videos under the video section.

Good luck!

[Embroidery77]

I feel you. When my son was 3 years old. He didn’t really speak and even if he did, it make much sense. He was aggressive. To tthe point he could start beating me if we had to go home. I was so frustrated. We were living in Asia that time and there is no adhd there. Just some speech and brain delay development. So we took some nootropics and vitamins. For like 2 months. Gosh, it helped him so much. No sign of aggression since then. He started talking. We moved to the states, he learned english so fast, no accent. But we do have some issues like lack of focus and hyperactivity. We on adderall xr for 3 weeks already. The biggest issue is that he apologizes for everything. For example i tell him that we have to go this way, he says sorry( no matter how much we talked to him he still does it.

[Oldermomof2 in reply to Embroidery77]

Oh wow- my son does the apologizing thing too- I tell him all the time to not apologize, it's ok but he still does it.

[Lauraz180]

hello and welcome. i love this site someone always answers! My DS has Inattentive ADHD. We found that meds had an 80% impact on school work and performance. In a very positive direction - just achieving success drives success and motivation... and it becomes self fulfilling. We have a few small things left on education, still a bit slow at getting work done, not great handwriting etc but overall achieving very highly. I think for us as well the social side is the thing that still requires work. DS has friends etc but always seems on the edge of the group and doesnt connect in the same way as the other boys. Breaks my heart really because he is truly a lovely human being and very smart. It has got better since meds but still not perfect. I often wonder how much is ADHD and how much is a quiet personality.

[Marissabelle]

You are not alone.

My son is 9-years-old and has ADHD - Combined Type. Social environments are difficult for my son - he does not like to share and he is very competitive.

1) Find your village. My husband and I have a close group of parent friends. They understand my son's ADHD and support him/us. We return the love by supporting our friends with their kids.

2) Change your expectations. I've started putting less pressure on my son. His happy place is building lego, playing Minecraft, and running free in the outdoors. Meanwhile, my daughter is incredibly social. We give her playdates (separate from her brother) as often as possible so that she can fill her bucket.

3) Be open to medication. Daily medication has helped my son. He could not function without it but he still needs other interventions.

4) Find what motives your son. For my son, it is building. I go to thrift stores and buy all the building kits I can find. I use these kits as a motivator for him to get his school work done, to do his chores, etc.

5) Family therapy. Having a child with ADHD is tough on relationships. Support your self and your family with therapy.

Sending you a big hug!

[HoldingonLou]

I like the find your Village idea. It does work. I want to commend you for getting him on a 504 for first grade. That is awesome!!!. He is so blessed you are in his corner. In my search, I was eventually connected to the County Social Service Dept and met the Psychologist. She worked within the schools. She started having sessions one night a week where dinner was provided and then parents and "High strung kids" went seperately to interact. We had a learning session and my favorite was just talking amongst each other for how to handle things. It was so supportive. This went on for 6 weeks. After this, we learned new coping skills and so did our kids. Ask your school counselor if this is available & call your county and ask, suggest, request. And on the news tonight, they said research shows having a pet cat can enhance empathy for socially distant kids. I would think the unconditional love of any pet could teach that as long as the child behaves appropriately with the pet.

If your familiar with reddit, they have an adhd group on there too.

[crowningglory19]

Hi there, I feel for you and understand. Some things that help are a good multi vitamin with extra magnesium that is calming and extra B vitamins for focus and nerve healing, probably good for both of you. Also, something active every day for him to burn out all that energy, then no electronics last hour before bed, just reading or talking to wind down. Hope this helps you both. Blessings.

[22mamabear]

Your story sounds very similar to mine. I look forward to connecting and sharing some successes and being able to learn from each other. We are just starting meds and looking into behavioral therapies.

[Oldermomof2]

I am new to the site too- I have two boys as well and I am in the same boat with you on friendships. I am hoping to find a local group of ADHD moms to see if I can't get him involved and get a connection. We do have a great neighborhood that has boys his age and he's able to connect but still struggles a bit.