College support

[Happytohelp1]

I am looking for advice on how you support your college students without enabling?

[Zelmo]

Hi Joellen1,We also are looking for help with a college student and this is urgent.

We are considering a coach so I am wondering if you have any knowledge or experience with this?

We also have an appointment with a psychiatrist but I am not certain our college student will keep the appointment. We are seeing a severe lack of interest in seemingly anything.

Sorry I don’t have something to add but rather am also looking for help for a college student.

Thanks for your post and kind regards

[nursescm in reply to Zelmo]

Hi Zelmo, I really hope you can get your college student to see the psychiatrist. I can tell you when our daughter was prescribed Adderall it made a huge difference in her ability to concentrate and stay focused. Her grades immediately improved. Be realistic and understand that it may take a few different medications to try before you find the one that works best for your child. My daughters friend did not like the way Adderall made him feel so he could not use it. Stay positive, I believe my daughter was also at a point when she just didn't think anything was going to change and she became very discouraged. I keep telling her that we don't ever give up and we just keep trying counselors/meds/ or whatever, until we find what works for her.

[nursescm]

Hi Joellen, I will be honest and tell you we initially did get involved our daughters freshman year to make sure she was set up for as much success as we could give her. We looked into the college and found they had a great disability resource center (often it's called something else) and made sure she was hooked up with them and was given the extra time and support she was allowed (note taking, if needed, etc). We also got her set up with a school counselor. Her college disability resource center even had all the kids get together to meet one another and they had periodic functions for them. (I'll be honest we couldn't get her to go to those functions. She didn't want it to be known that she was going there). It really made a huge difference and it made us feel like we did everything we could to set her up for success. There are always other issues but at least we knew she had some support there. Good luck!!

[BTV65]

Same here. Unfortunately the college our son is at has a very hands-off attitude about parent involvement of any kind. "He's 18, these are the resources available, here is the instructions on how to access them. He has to take these steps if he wants to get help."

Of course our son doesn't think he needs the help, so instead he just got overwhelmed and can't keep his head above water and is failing courses. I've given him all the information, documents and encouragement to go meet with them and start the process. He's done nothing with it and my hands are tied. It's frustrating.

[WeespShacky in reply to BTV65]

We had the same issues when our son was in his freshman year … I can’t even tell you. I thought he had an addiction to alcohol. 18 months later and many lies, dropped classes, financial mistakes etc, he has finally agreed to help. In fact, he seems somewhat excited about it. So probably not going back to college for the Fall and we’re going to get him treated and work with him to find resources to help him find the life he really wants. Good luck … it’s not easy but don’t give up!