New to group with 14 yr old ADHD son

[hiker67]

Hello,

I joined this group in the past few days and have been learning from all the other posts. My son is almost 15 and entering HS (at least virtually) this fall. He was diagnosed at 8 years old, but we knew he probably had adhd even when he was 3. He has always been impulsive, loud, talks a ton on top of everyone, constantly moving, wildly creative, very social, and usually a happy bubbly guy. I used to have to run & play vigorously with him for an hour or two before kindergarten so he could make it through the 3 hours of following rules. First grade was a nightmare of screaming and crying to not go to school, running away from school, and getting calls from the school every week. Until we got a different teacher who made it her personal mission to connect with him. She gave him movement breaks, a ball to sit on, special jobs like taking out the trash, or pulling a cart full of books to the office or going to retrieve that same cart of books back to the classroom. She worked with our occupational therapist to come up with ways to keep his body busy so his mind could pay attention. Second grade was back to the same problem behaviors with a teacher who had no flex in their expectations for rule following. We ended up putting our son on medication with much trepidation and it dramatically helped. We still had to turn homework into a game in order to get it done, still had to bribe chores with rewards or do them together, and I'm sure all his friends and their parents knew our son had ADHD since he was so much more active and loud than his peers. But he managed to stay out of trouble and went back to enjoying school and making friends. He didn't eat much when the medication was active, so we fed him huge breakfasts and he ate 2 dinners to make up for not eating much lunch. And he sometimes had trouble falling asleep -- lying in bed awake until 11 or later some nights.

Fast forward to middle school and at the end of 7th grade, he decided he didn't want to be on medication anymore. He didn't think he needed it anymore. His grades dropped, he became more impulsive and harder to get to focus. He visited the principal's office for silly things like climbing a wall in the lunchroom. He spent many class sessions sitting outside the classroom because he was disruptive. And he sometimes got in trouble for more serious things. After a 6 month experiment, we convinced him to go back on his medication, but he still isn't really bought into it. He can't really articulate why he is anti-medication now but he skips it and avoids it and argues about taking it. Two years ago he was self-managing taking it most days. We are finishing up 6 months of neurofeedback which has improved his impulsive behavior enough to reduce but not eliminate his medication.

As he enters high school, we are constantly trying to balance his need for more independence with my need to keep him safe and out of trouble. I join this group hoping to find guidance from those parents just ahead of me on this path, and hoping to be able to offer suggestions for those with younger adhd children.

[anirush]

My 15 year old grandson says his meds don't make him feel like himself. But without them he does stupid stuff like the wall climbing thing or he thought his online game account was hacked which it wasn't. We convinced him that he makes rash decisions off meds. He is taking driver's ed and just got his learner's permit. He has been told he won't be driving if he is not stable. That has pretty much convinced him to regularly take his meds.

I have read some people like that wild feeling. I guess it is kind of like the high some drugs give you.