Feeling like I am not getting anywhere

[Blessedmamaof3]

I am a mom of three kids that all have ADHD, I have trouble dealing with the behaviors from them. I tell them they are not allowed to do something and they do it anyways and keep doing it even know they know they shouldn't. I try to handles these behaviors and it is not easy because all three of them think they are always right about everything and want to argue. I love being mom but I am not sure how to be a good parent when I feel like I am not getting anywhere with my kids. Can anyone give me any ideas on maybe getting through to my kids that these behaviors need to stop.

[Onthemove1971]

Welcome.. have you listened to the Podcast, "Parnting ADHD", Carole William's. She just released a podcast on punishment.

Good luck

[Blessedmamaof3 in reply to Onthemove1971]

Thank you, and know I haven't. Where can I find this podcast?

[Onthemove1971 in reply to Blessedmamaof3]

Not sure if you have an Apple ( iPhone or Ipad)- go to the App store and download a free App ( type in podcast) or if you have a Android- go to the play store. Once you have the App on you device, just search forn" parentling ADHD " by Carol Williams.

Good luck!

[Blessedmamaof3 in reply to Onthemove1971]

Thank you, I'll do this and listen tomorrow after my kids go to school. I am just ready to relax. Our 15 year old girl likes to take hours in the bathroom and that is our battle with her right now. Our other two get mad because she throws their bedtime routine off. So by time we get all of them in bed I am just too tired mentally and physically to do anything. When they are in school I have more time I Have another thing to watch on YouTube that someone posted for me. Thank you for the help.

[Onthemove1971 in reply to Blessedmamaof3]

This Podcast has many more back episodes that I know will change your life. We are here for you and feel you pain. We set a timer that my son starts each time he gets in the shower. Treats only if he is out right away when the timer goes off. If not there is no dessert.

Sorry about all of your stress, raising kids is very hard and sometimes raising a child with ADHD seems unbearable.

Big hugs and lots of positive vibes to you.

[Blessedmamaof3 in reply to Onthemove1971]

Thank you, it is a struggle but it is not one I am willing to give up on. Even on the worse days I couldn't even imagine my life without my kids. The two oldest are my step- daughters and I love them like they were my own. It is so nice to have a place to go where everyone understands that when we say that we feel like we are not getting anywhere or we are stressed and why. We have tried the timer it works for two of them and for her nothing seems to be working right now so we keep trying a new thing.

[Onthemove1971 in reply to Blessedmamaof3]

You sounds like an incredible person mom, they are all lucky to have you!

Good luck..

[MunchkinMommy537 in reply to Blessedmamaof3]

Can she do most of her “routine” in her room so other people can use the bathroom? That doesn’t sound like ADHD, that sounds like she’s being a selfish teenager.

[Blessedmamaof3 in reply to MunchkinMommy537]

We think it is her being a selfish teenager as well. This is not only happens at bedtime it happens anytime she goes into the bathroom even if it is to wash her hands she is in there forever. We have tried many things and nothing seems to work. She can do most of her bedtime routine in her room but anytime she goes into the bathroom she takes a long time. Then when we say something to her she gets hateful and hurtful. She can wear a watch and when I say you have a watch on there is no reason for you to take this long she tells me well I don't pay attention to my watch or it isn't set to the right time. Thank you, and I really hope that this changes for us soon.

[MunchkinMommy537 in reply to Blessedmamaof3]

My son is like this. Maybe start doing the things she is taking forever doing yourself (wash her hands like you would s child, brush her teeth and hair for her). Or at least stand in the bathroom watching her wash her hands, brush her teeth, etc. If she’s hateful I act consequences for that, but tell her when she can do things by herself without taking forever then she can get her privacy back. Don’t allow her ANY privileges (no phone, no tv, nothing but food, shelter, sleep, and school work) until she treats you with respect. It’s not your job to be liked, it’s your job to train her to be a functional adult, and at 15 you’re running out of time.

[Blessedmamaof3 in reply to MunchkinMommy537]

Never thought about doing it for her like that. Might just have to give that a try, We are not here to be her friend we are her parents and if tough love is what it will take that is what we will do. I am going to talk to my husband about this tonight thank you for the idea.

[MunchkinMommy537 in reply to Blessedmamaof3]

If she wants to act like a kid and take forever then she gets to be treated like a kid. She’ll probably hate it