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ADHD Parents Together
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I Quit!!(atlease for today that is)

I know I cant quit on my son but this day was one of those days!!

My son is ruining my marriage(I know he cant control himself)

Teachers are complaining 24/7 ..

He just told me teacher will call me tomorrow,

He said his friend googled penis and vagina in schools computer....

Smh it was probably him(he lies ALOT!)

OK VENT OVER...

28 Replies
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I have always said.. Thank-you for tomorrow, another day..

Sounds like your son could benefit from some counseling. Does he have an educational plan?

Good luck with tomorrow.

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He is actually on the waiting list for counseling(near home)..

He works with a play therapist 2 hours per week..

He is on a 504 ...

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Maturity takes a while to kick in. Does he take medication, it really helps.our son. He would not be able.to attend school or be successful without it.

Hope things get better for you.

Take care

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He did a trial of a couple of meds and it only made him sick..

He was doing counseling and when he was.with the counselor he would be a great child..

Thanks!!

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Was he under the care of a child psychiatrist? It does not sound like the person giving you the medication discovered.the right fit for him,.I assume it was just your regular doctor.

We just didn't give up and knew we would find the right dose, timing and kind. Now, we can tell as soon as our sons medication wears off he is a different person, very hard to tolerate.

Best of luck

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Thanks!

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It’s so hard isn’t it? My son too just got over one thing (hitting a kid again) and then we have this heartbreaking emotional talk and I am feeling good again that I was able to connect with him and then it happens again a week later. The. His vision therapy doctor was shaking mad at his behavior during his therapy (I wasn’t there). And I am like isbthis in punishment thing working? I know we are supposed to highlight positives etc and we do punish him (no tb or iPad) but does anything work? He cried then that he feels bad inside about everything and I am back in this loop feeling like I failed him. I had adhd and my father was ruthless wit discipline and I did turn out stronger in some ways and in others I feel shame. I don’t know. It ain’t easy. Why do we NOT have support groups?! It’s ridiculous living in hiding like this. .

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Sorry for all those typos. I do know how to spell! :)

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I have those questions every day!!!!!

I also question will this ever end..

I love him I really do,but it's so hard sometimes...

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Hi, I know it is frustrating. We just want to have on day without chaos and confusion. At least I do for sure. Yet each day there seems to be a problem to resolve, behavior to correct, teacher to talk to, school meeting to go to...the list is never ending. If you can, find someone to stay with your child while you get away for just a couple hours. If not, you will lose it quickly. Get your son in to see a therapist to talk about what is going on. And try to find a support group in your area for parents of children with special needs. CHADD has a great list of places you can find in your area.

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Will look into it,thanks:)

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All of the hugs for you today. Hang in there it is so hard.

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Thanks!!

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So I'm guessing he's Special Needs? Since he cannot control himself, maybe you and your wife should get counseling? My brother has 2 kids that are autistic and 1 that has a fear of going outside. His wife had a brain aneurysm with 3 brain surgeries. He's alone with this, so you and your should not let this one child devide you.

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I feel your pain. My son just turned 13 2 weeks ago. He has been refusing his medicine, not doing his schoolwork and refusing to go to school, he also waits until I fall asleep then he will stay up most of the night. If I’m lucky I might be able to get him to school once a week. I'm terrified what’s going to happen! I cry a lot and I can hardly hold my self together at work. Im so embarrassed! I know exactly what people will say and think about me (I can’t parent or control my son) Im so sick of being judged when Im just asking for help!! That’s why I never talk about it to anyone!

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It's so hard!!and Yes most people dont understan what we go through,,and alot of people just talk bacause they can .

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I am so sorry you are in the place. Big hugs to you. It really is hard comparing our children to others kids. But it really helps to just look at him and believe things must get better. Have you tried counseling and bribe him. If you see the counsel we will let you do X. Getting to a professional could really help. What about an online school, then there is no stress about going to school. You could say if you go to counseling we will let you do homeschooling.. if this is possible. We decided school was the most important and have really worked with his teachers and creating a great 504 plan to help him.

Please dont be embarrassed, there are other parents that have it much worse.

Big hugs..

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Oh, one more thing he's Not ruining your marriage. Your wife and you are the adults who have control to ruin it or not. You even said he's ruining it.

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My twelve-year-old grandson is on medication, which we have to change periodically, has an IEP, and sees a behavioral therapist. We still have constant problems. He can be a sweet as pie one minute turn into godzilla the next.

My husband tends to get overly angry if things aren't going well so I try to handle most of it unless he gets really aggressive.

The psychiatrist says the older they get the more they are able to handle their problems but it's not easy to get to that point.

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My husband is such a calm person and brushes everything off.

And of course my son loves dad,but mom not so much!!

I am praying it will get better..

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Breathe and give yourself a break! This is a tough job. When we have kids we go into not realizing we can have a child with issues. But we adjust. Nobody but the others here with you truly understand your pain and frustration. It is exhausting! Anybody who reads my posts knows exactly what I’m about to tell you to try. It’s my mission to spread the word about broad spectrum micronutrients. They have saved our family! We use Hardy Nutritionals. There is also a second company called true hope. Our psychiatrist did not recommend one company over the other. If you have the means it is worth a try. They work for my son and if you try them I hope they work for yours too!

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Will deff look into it,thanks

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How old is your son? Mine is 15 and he has definitely contributed to challenges in our marriage. We both understand that it is our son that has made it difficult. However, we are currently both on the same page. My husband finally read a book and an approach that I was keen to implement. My husband has been the 'tough' one, and it looks like I'm the good guy, but I know I have outsourced to him. The Nurtured Heart Approach by Howard Glasser has given me hope when I was feeling hopeless. It is fairly clear and straight forward and makes sense. It describes why the usual parenting approaches just don't work with our son. All those ways we have been parented in and what works with our other children just don't work with him.

Keep your ears open for others that may have these challenges. They are out there. Try to find them to share with. It can be daunting to take that step. Potentially putting yourself on the line to open up, but it can give others an opportunity to open up too. It helps to not feel so alone.

I hope you find a moment to sit, breathe and enjoy the sun, or a flower or chocolate. Just for yourself to give you the strength to keep going.

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He is a month shy from 10yr ..

I will deff look into those books..

Thanks for advice:)

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Thankfully, my children's schools don't make a big fuss over every behavior problem. Are there any respite programs available? Maybe take some time out for you and your husband to get away and just focus on each other, like some kind of marriage retreat or something.

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Hi..that's all school does,complain..sad but true..

I will be looking on alternatives for next year ,I dont think I can handle onother year ...

And yes retreat or a short vacation sounds awesome right about now..;)

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OMG I can't believe I just found this website. It sounds like we are all parenting the same child. I have never felt so alone as I have trying to parent, find help, get resources, find a competent therapist, or make my husband understand this isn't "normal" behavior. That we have a "complex"child who needs us to help him not to drill it into his head who is the boss!! It amazes me that in 2019 there are so many children and adults diagnosed with ADHD but I have not been able to find reliable sources of support for either of us. I am so sorry this even exists and we all need to struggle this hard but I do feel like crying that I finally found others who are dealing with the exact same issues. It is such a relief knowing I am not alone in this fight for my child. I hate what we all go through on a daily basis but support is crucial getting help and any little bit of information that may help one person is critical in changing our daily lives even just a tiny bit. Thank you all for sharing your personal struggles. Its not easy saying it out loud especially when people have no idea what we go through every day. I for one appreciate every word you all have written, it will definitely make a difference to me!!

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Big hug!!!!Its hard but we get it done every day.

And yes it's hard to explain to every person the situation we go thru 24/7..

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