Am I asking for too much?: Is it too... - CHADD's ADHD Pare...

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Am I asking for too much?

Aniusia profile image
29 Replies

Is it too much to ask school to designate a person/teacher/social worker to a student and ask that person to simply watch/ make sure he is returning projects on time , finishing projects etc ?

My son has an IEP , but still I feel , I need to email each teacher and say “ he got F for not completing assignment, please give him more time or “he did not return it, but he has it in his binder, please remind him to turn it in”

Can somebody from school personnel be “me” in school? Can I ask for that ?

29 Replies
Rulene profile image

You would think these teachers could help out and I’m not saying that some of them don’t. This is their job

I’d email them daily driving them insane until they got my message. Then I’d shame them in the meetings to let them see how it feels to be embarrassed. Because when our kids forget (which they can’t help) then they feel embarrassed. How hard is it to ask a student who you know is struggling if he/she turned something in. I mean come on have a little sympathy/empathy people. I don’t think you are asking to much. We are going to do the same thing. And continue till they either help out or find a different job. If they don’t care enough then they shouldn’t be teachers. That’s just being kind and doesn’t hurt them to help/remind the kids. All they are doing by not helping out is making the child feel worst about themselves.

Aniusia profile image
Aniusia in reply to Rulene

You are absolutely right! How hard it is to ask student if he has homework in his folder??

I will definitely make our team embarrassed, with a smile on my face and with very polite voice.

My son gets A and B from his tests and quizzes, but he gets F from preparation and not turning assignments on time. WTH?

SandyNJ profile image

I feel your pain. You would think! My neighbor has 2 autistic children and she has no homework as part of their IEP. I mention school projects to her and she chuckles. There have been many times I took extra time on the weekend to catch up on homework for the assignment to stay in his folder day after day after day. 3 months of homework assignment sheets built up in the display sleeve of his folder which is about to bust. All I can get from him is that he forgot. I wrote a letter to his teacher yesterday that he is struggling too much so we won't be tackling homework a home.

Aniusia profile image

Thank you ladies . I am preparing for our next meeting and trying to get as much info as I can.

I guess, we learn as we go. Last meeting, I was way too quiet, felt overpowered by all those teachers. This time I will speak up

Laurieannh profile image

Honestly I’ve found it depends on the teacher not the school - for a couple years we had great teachers - this year has been a mess. In previous years they have asked during IEP if we want to file a 504 and I haven’t needed to- this year I haven’t seen anything or mtgs for IEP and when I met with teachers and mentioned the 504 plan and they said he needs a medical condition to qualify so I explained and looked at me as if I was crazy....

Aniusia profile image
Aniusia in reply to Laurieannh

Laurieannh, why did they offer 504 when there was IEP already in place ?

Laurieannh profile image
Laurieannh in reply to Aniusia

I don’t know - I think because they knew he was mtg all goals and they didn’t want to keep him on it - problem is new teacher this yr and total decline with no support

Aniusia profile image
Aniusia in reply to Laurieannh

What about the rest of the team? They do not support what was already agreed last year?

My sons special ed teacher this year is terrible. My son hates her. She completely has no understanding to adhd. We work with social worker a lot more. Hopefully next year will be better.

Laurieannh profile image

Everyone from last year change when the principal went to a new school - so really no support. Our school yr ends this month so hoping next yr is better.

Pajamasam36 profile image

Wondering if you can suggest some IEP goals like student has more time to turn in assignmens

Or an eyes On Aid. This can be school personel that is in your Childs environment at the time they need extra support. Weather it is in class or in transitions like lunch time or between periods in the Hall.

Or more reminders and prompts from teachers.

We requested a peer mentor in the classes he struggles with most. This needs to be by teacher discression who knows the immediate need of her student in class and can pair up a strong academic student with a struggling one.

The no homework is another good IEP goal with students who struggle with ADHD/ODD

This is what my son struggles with.

We are battling the same issues you are! Best of luck in your IEP!

Don’t let them trade his IEP for a 504. The school will loose the IEP federal funding for your child and you will Loose the IEP protections made for him in his IEP Plan.

Good luck

LalaG profile image

You are so strong and a wonderful Mom! Going into an IEP meeting with all the teachers and staff is no joke and can be very overwhelming! Just remember your rights and stand your ground! Be you childs advocate and if you don't agree with something in the IEP you have every right to say so! I would suggest, if there is not one in place already, an accommodation for assignments. Granting more time for completion, teacher follow through on collecting assignments, anything that can have a measurable goal. That way there can be accountability in the classroom that doesn't just fall to the student. And ask about anything you want in those IEP meeting!! They may not be able to accommodate everything but it never hurts to ask :)

Malcomsmom profile image

You should request a 504 plan for him. That way they have to follow what you come up with. The teacher, counselor, nurse and yourself make up the guidelines and it protects your child.

Aniusia profile image
Aniusia in reply to Malcomsmom

We already have IEP

denak2 profile image

My daughter is in 2nd grade and she has an IEP. One of her accommodations is to go to the resource teacher to complete work on assignments that she is rushing through or when she is not focusing in the classroom, for example on math and writing assignments. We also have accommodations for more time on tests and testing in the resource teacher's room. A friend of mine who has a middle schooler with ADHD said someone at her daughter's school helps her organize her assignments and finish homework every morning before school. Although, she still misses assignments. So, it does not seem unreasonable to ask for a special accommodation for the special ed/resource teacher to help make sure assignments are finished and turned in.

Aniusia profile image
Aniusia in reply to denak2

Thank you. I will ask for the resource teacher. This is all my son needs: reminders to turn work in , and not to get F if he doesn’t. It is like asking child that needs glasses, to take them off and then read. Impossible !

Mypl profile image

I don’t think it’s unreasonable to ask however we found our child’s teacher to be disinterested in dealing with any children that have special needs. Within two weeks she cut her hair twice and fell off monkey bars and fractured her elbow. I understand the teachers are spread thin but she was asked by a SPED admin if she could use an aid for our girl to keep her on task and she said no. We withdrew her the end of that week to homeschool and I’m getting my thoughts together to report to education board.

Be diligent and keep pushing you child is entitled to the services they need. Good luck

Kdelmont profile image

A 504 is an extension of an iep you can get one for your child it accommodates their educational needs. My daughter has her school work chunked to make her do the whole lesson in shorter blocks, She sits by the teacher and gets praise as needed or reminded to get on task, She also gets more time on her testing and work. It may be something that is good for you.

I've have had a school psychologist watch my daughter in class when she was in kindergarten to see what she acts like in different environments. She reported her findings back to me and it helped my daughter get to know the counselor on a friendly level. I did that when she was misdiagnosed and I had to find things out for myself and get the proper diagnosis of adhd.

The school is a great resource for you. Utilize it and always ask questions. I learned all about the iep and 504 in college as I went to be an educator. But it is quite different when it is you and your child.

Aniusia profile image
Aniusia in reply to Kdelmont

How is an IEP different from 504? I was under the impression, IEP is more important and when in place, we don’t need 504.

Rulene profile image
Rulene in reply to Aniusia

IEP is for children with learning disabilities. 504 is for ADHD.

cristinalasvegas profile image

I am having problems aswell with my ADHD he had a EIP since he was 4because he didnt talk/communicate verballly like kids his age and the in Kinder stared showing signs of ADHD fot wors in 1Grade by the 2nd G I beg the principal hold him back again in 2ndG since his maturity leve is like 2-3 years behind and strugiling in his academics(typical from adhd) byt the school refused to do it nd now in 3rd G he strugles even more he cryes in the morning he said i dont want to go to school, school is to hard and it brakes my heart how can i havey rights a a parent if i want my kid to repeat a grade to have his maturity catch up with his peers? This school is a charter school in Las Vegas ,I wonder if this has to do with it, I planing to move to North Carolina whedre he can enjoy the summers outdoors and I will try to place him in 3rd Grade again any sugestions or advices? Thanks to everyone,

kand2010 profile image
kand2010 in reply to cristinalasvegas

So sorry to hear of your struggles. My daughter did first grade twice and it was the best thing that we did for her socially and academically. It’s sad to hear that administrators won’t listen to the parents’ concerns. I hope the move to NC will be a positive one and that he can have a fresh start in third grade. I am saddened when kids don’t want to go to school because they are so frustrated academically. Learning is for all no matter what it takes! Some of us just learn differently and may need a slower pace. I repeated second grade. School was always a struggle, but I managed to get a Bachelors’ Degree. I think I wanted to prove those wrong who said I couldn’t do it! 😮 Never give up.

kand2010 profile image

I'm an Instructional Assistant in an elementary school. I travel to different classrooms all day to assist those who have IEPs, 504s, and/or just need additional instruction/help. One of my daily tasks is to check the planners of a few students at the end of the day. All I do is make sure they have the planner filled out correctly and everything they need for homework and projects are in the proper folder(s). I also ask questions because I'm not in their classroom all day. I ask questions a parent might ask, "So, does this paper need to be here?", "Why isn't that worksheet in the homework folder?", etc. I also prompt them by repeating statements and questions. "So, your test is in two days?", "What is your plan?", etc, etc. Many times, the students will say, "Oh, yes! I need that for tonight! I forgot. I'll get it out of my desk." Many times these students just need a few friendly reminders and checks. I've found that many students Autism and/or ADHD get overwhelmed easily. They just need assistance in sorting through it. My hope is that with my assistance, the students will build and develop the executive function skills that are difficult for them to carry out. My goal is they will have this skill to use in middle school with little to no assistance.

My Principal asked me to do this for these students. I agree with what someone else said in this thread. It depends on the school.

Aniusia profile image
Aniusia in reply to kand2010

Thank you. You are the person we need! It is great what you are doing and I hope parents do appreciate your work. It is hard to find a right person. I guess my son special ed teacher is supposed to help , however she doesn’t understand adhd , is sarcastic and something just didn’t click between them. I have s meeting this Friday...

kand2010 profile image
kand2010 in reply to Aniusia

I do what I can. Here at in our school system, we have at least one special education assistant. Have a great day.

kand2010 profile image
kand2010 in reply to Aniusia

Aww, thanks! Certified teachers have so many responsibilities in today’s educational system. Honestly, I don’t know how they keep up with not only lesson plans and kids, but data gathering, behaviors, IEPs, testing, meetings, and on and on. However, that is not an excuse for your child/children to not receive the support they need (within reason ☺️). I would think it would make sense for most school districts to have assistants, especially for special education. In my school, we have classroom assistants for K-1st, a special education assistant (me), and an assistant that “floats” to classrooms throughout the day. Let me know how your meeting goes on Friday. You are doing the right to thing for your child. Keep up the good work!

Rulene profile image
Rulene in reply to kand2010

Does every school have an instructional Assistant available to children with ADHD? This would be awesome for our grandson to have someone help him stay focused and not forget things. Help him when he gets overwhelmed.

Grandma01 profile image
Grandma01 in reply to Rulene

Yes most should. Ask about special education services at your school.

kand2010 profile image
kand2010 in reply to Rulene

I don’t know if every school has an instructional assistant for special education.

Mommyof3boyz profile image

No that's not asking too much. You are entitled to ask for whatever it is to help accommodate your child's needs. My son's school does really good with reminders and mentors assisting. Does your child school have mentors or volunteers for that purpose? If so, use them.

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