Just need to vent. I just lost it with my daughter. She had a bad week with the bipolar. I had a bad week with work and then having to make sure she is ok, blah, blah, blah. She is supposed to wear glasses and just refuses, so I tried contacts. She loves them. She went with her Dad (who sees her about 3 hours a week if that). The eye doctor told her, his assistant told her and I told her that she cannot take them out without her case. You guessed it she took one of them out and what? put it in her pocket. In her pocket. Then of course she lied about it. The pharmacy won't have her new meds for a few days because God forbid they have them in stock and of course I've been on the phone with the insurance trying to explain why we are changing again.
I am bone tired, just like most of us here, I am a single Mom. I had to do some errands at lunch and I noticed these people having lunch and they were laughing and drinking wine. I haven't done that in so long. I have a counselor and I see her next week. This journey is just full of so many one step forward, three steps back. And when I lose it then she loses it. I am not made of money and her Dad contributes nothing.
Sometimes I just want to have MY cry. I just want to have MY breakdown and be entitled to MY feelings as opposed to just waiting until she falls asleep to cry or waiting until I am in the car to cry with all those people looking at me like I'm all weird.
I love her with everything I am. I will do whatever it takes to make sure she is ok, supported and has everything she needs. I just lost it.