Do grades get better once your officially diagnosed?

[Van3939]

I just got my sons report card. He’s in first grade and behind in most subjects. We have him in tutoring 2 days a week. We are working on a formal diagnosis now and have an appointment next month with a psychologist for testing. Does school get better? This is so hard for me as I’m college educated and loved school. Any other helpful hints? We start cranial sacral therapy today. Loved to hear suggestions

[Onthemove1971]

Van3939- has the school recommended testing or placing him on a 504 educational plan or an IEP?

One of the biggest challenges is looking at today for today and not stressing about tomorrow.

Children with ADHD get the right supports they can be successful in school.

Hope this helps.

[myspecialkid]

Hello van3939, my daughter is in 2nd grade and was behind on all subject until last month. My husband and i both hace doctorate degres so it was hard to watch her grades go lower and lower. We had tutoring 4 days a week and I worked on various worksheets at home with her as well. I could tell she is smart and gets the concept when she is focused and interested or if there was an incentive involved. We got diagnosed almost a year ago and I wanted to try therapy and school modifications before going on meds. This past fall, her grades went even lower... she was too hyper to focus and get the concepts being taught. And during tests, she just wants to pick an answer and move on rather than read the directions! We started meds 2 months ago and her test last month improved dramatically. Her teacher has noticed she is "more present" in class.

So yes, I believe getting a diagnosis helped us realize we needed to seek help other than tutoring. It also helped us do some research to understand that she is just wired differently and extra tutoribg and homework is like beating a dead horse! We are going to continue 4 days tutoring through the end of the school year to hopefully get her up to average or above average. Then try to avoid the summer slide as much as possible. Fingers crossed and goodluck!!!

[bdhb96]

After you have the mandatory diagnosis, go straight to an IEP if possible. They’re taken more seriously by the teachers. In general you’re building a paperwork trail so each yr they look back at the previous year’s arrangements and then renew the accommodations. Eventually this paperwork trail will be required to get approval for accommodations during SAT testing, etc.

Even with classroom accommodations things may not necessarily become magically better km sorry to say. I have a high school senior with inattentive ADHD plus they’re at the you fest age for the grade - a double whammie. Kids with ADHD are something like 20-30% behind in their maturity. That means my 17 yr old senior is really like a 14 yr old senior...who also has a written communication disorder. It has not been easy! I’m just trying not to get an ulcer over the years. Seriously.

Important steps that will help:

1- Deep breathing. This is just one step in a long journey so don’t burn out too quickly. Some people like to say it’s a super power, but I don’t really see it to be that way after 12 years of parenting now two kids with ADHD. It’s exhausting to be the prefrontal cortex for several other people in addition to yourself. That will eventually change but right now I’m still in the trenches. Keep the long game in mind.

2- Accept that your child’s brain is wired differently and may have a non-traditional path in life too. They may not go a four yr college and they may need a gap yr..or two to mature. Try not to compare your child to others! And remember that their maturity and executive function development is 20 to 30% behind in years than their same age peers.

3- Don’t get hung up on grades. Expand your idea of what success looks like. There are so many ways and methods to learn subjects of interest. Learning does not just happen in the classroom. Grades are not the end goal, it’s the knowledge And how you can put that to use in your life to better yourself in the world. There are many ways to be smart, not just book smart. A person can still LOVE learning and not attend a traditional college. I’m sure you didn’t mean it but in general that’s an offensive statement. There are many reasons why a person may not have an opportunity to go to a four-year college. Financial or other reasons. I’m sure that’s not what you meant but… just saying.

4- Always be your child’s advocate even when it’s awkward and uncomfortable. There are people who don’t recognize ADHD as a condition. They label it something else like lazy or unmotivated. It’s not.

5- Don’t take it personally. This is YOUR CHILD’s life not yours. Their successes or failures are theirs. I know it’s hard to make that separation when your child is so young but it’s an important one because otherwise after years of the school battles to come your own self-esteem will take a huge hit if you keep the two linked.

6- Get your child involved in a wide variety of activities outside of school. They need to find other ways to be successful in life, not just the report card results. Sports, music, creative pursuits, cooking, pet care, whatever sparks their interest and provides an opportunity for success and involve. Otherwise what can happen is that their self-esteem is completely tied to their grades (be careful about the message YOU send out) and that is an arena which they may never have much success in. Find other places for the success to happen and grow their confidence and self-esteem. Otherwise by eighth or ninth grade the continued years of struggle will add up and the depression and anxiety will be a bigger problem than the ADHD. Sorry to be so bleak but you’ll see what I mean as the years go by.

7- Consider holding your child back a grade because it will make a big difference by middle school high school years. It will give them a little more time to mature, creating more success in the classroom, which creates more confidence and self-esteem. I know this seems extreme but it’s not about your child’s intelligence level, it’s about their executive function skills. My child has consistently tested with a 130 IQ (just above average) but their grades are just barely passing. ADHD commonly does not allow a person to easily show their knowledge. It’s not about how smart they are. We tried in third and fourth grade to hold her back but the public school would never allow it because they said she would be bored. That’s probably true but I still wish she had an extra year to mature and become more organized.

8- Plan your finances to continue the expensive tutoring. Classroom teachers don’t have the specific training and don’t have the time to really help our students well. A good tutor has the specific knowledge and works one on one with your child. It’s well worth the cost. I recall sitting in several waiting rooms while kids from very high-level private schools were meeting at the tutors as well. Simply switching to a private school does not guarantee the kind of explicit instruction a person with ADHD needs.

I could go on but I’m out of time...Good luck to you! It’s going to be a ride!

[snflwrgrl]

Hang in there! It does get better. <3 My son struggled in school and he was eventually diagnosed with ADHD. We tried everything they recommended and, after exhausting our efforts, we agreed to try medication. That was a tough situation for me but it helped. We also had a 504 plan with my son’s school so the teachers made accommodations for my son. One was test taking. He’d get so nervous as he saw the other students finish before him so he was allowed to take his tests in a separate room. That really made a difference. It wasn’t always easy but a book comforted me greatly on the nights I worried and I could not sleep. It’s called the power of a praying parent by Stormie Omartian. I highly recommend it! As my son grew he was able to go off the medication and he is now an employed college graduate. =) There’s hope! I’ll be praying for you this week. Remember this too shall pass. Big hug!

[Mimi_2019 in reply to snflwrgrl]

Really needed to see this...when I tell you I’m in tears. This year thus far is tough. I’m keep praying for him, loving him, and being his voice. I trust that God will make it better he said he wouldn’t put more on me than I’m able to bare.

[Hidden]

My son has ADHD and learning disabilities so he is behind in most subjects. He has an IEP and accomodations that help

[Pennywink]

The diagnosis can help, if effective treatment options are then implemented.

These typically are:

Medication

Parent Training

School Accommodations

A combination of these three generally works the best.