Can we disagree with the IEP? - CHADD's ADHD Pare...

CHADD's ADHD Parents Together

19,477 members5,512 posts

Can we disagree with the IEP?

FrankenMummy profile image
8 Replies

We are going through this process, again, fighting with no communication with the school. My mother's intuition is telling me that this isn't the right place for him. He's 7, in a special school for behavioral issues. I spoke with the head of the district's special education and I'm under the impression that she will not allow him to move back into district at the upcoming school year, which was supposed to happen after a year at this school. I feel like the school he's in is doing more harm than good and that he's picking up behaviors that will drive him further away from integration. Do we have a right to say no to a special class? That we absolutely want him in district with an aide? I just want to know if this is going to be something where we end up getting a lawyer involved. We have an iep review meeting on 3/27, and I am letting my husband speak. Usually I hold him back as he has a temper, especially with the treatment of our son, but my "nice gal" attitude seems to get us nowhere. I just want to know if legally we can push him back into district. We're in NY state, in Putnam County. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I get anxiety every day sending him to school and I hate it. I wish we had the funds for private school or a way to home school, but unfortunately, these are not options at this time.

8 Replies
missbonafide profile image

I'm sorry to hear about your stress over this. I'm in NYS but in NYC specifically so it's different. When you say behavioral are you referring to BOCES? Every parent does have Due Process rights. And you can absolutely disagree with placement and services on an IEP but things take time. You can choose to do it yourself but carry the burden or you can hire an advocate or a lawyer if you feel the school is not budging. Is the current school NOT following the IEP? Or they are but the environment is not appropriate for him? What I can recommend is that before the IEP meeting, you send the IEP team your parent concerns via email so that they already know that you desire a change in placement. Whether it is approved or not is not a guarantee. However, if the first time they are hearing of your request of a change is at the actual IEP meeting by the time the meeting is held they've already made decisions on what will be on the IEP (even though it shouldn't be that way b/c you are an IEP team member and are supposed to be involved in the entire process). You'll need to have proper data/backup to prove your request. Like have you been tracking particular incidents that have gone on, has your child had to see a specialist as a result of school concerns and maybe you can get a letter from the specialist (for example if your child has a therapist and therapist knows the child is having a hard time w the setting they can write a letter stating how the environment is impacting the student). Sorry I can't provide more since I'm not in that county. But if you want to make the investment go the advocate route - they will help you come up with a plan of action. PM you some names in case you want to check them out. All the best!

FrankenMummy profile image
FrankenMummy in reply to missbonafide

Yes, it is a BOCES school, and it's mostly the lack of communication, as well as the fact that we're not 100% certain the iep is being followed. Everything that I hear from my son is just one sided, and we will be starting to bombard the principal with our concerns, which have not been replied to. I just can't see tha we have to keep him in that school if we feel that it's hurting him rather than helping. Thank you for the resources, hopefully we can resolve this in the next iep meeting, and if not then it will be a lawyer I believe. It really just seems like it's just a place to stick him and not doing anything therapeutic.

momlife7 profile image

This is crazy this popped up in my email because I have been researching a lawyer and IEP Advocate allll weekend. We have similar issue where my son is in Gen Ed a good portion of the day and leaves for reading and math help in a small setting and he is very scared of some of the behaviors he sees and we are trying to see what options we have. We feel like more harm is being done than help. Our concerns arent being heard. Hang in there there are others going through the same thing!

janeejo1 profile image

so sorry. You can absolutely disageee. You are entitled to LRE. If you believe the current location is detrimental , document what has changed as a result. . Does he have a behavior plan? Have they determined what triggers his behaviors? Do they have all the necessary supports in place to support his ADHD characteristics? Best wishes. I understand and sympathize with your anxiety!

Pattimum profile image

I would say, your gut feeling is probably right, you are his mum.

I know it’s different where we live but maybe this would work for you too- I paid from my own pocket to have independent Educational Psychologist assess my son. I explained that I understand my son has ‘needs’ however at present on paper they are written in such negative light that no school will take him, knowing just this piece of paper as all they know about my son.

And yes, educational lawyer also helps to get your voice across. Before I felt ignored and now we have a lawyer I get reply to my every email!

I also redid Occupational Therapy assessment and she observed my son at school and again I told her that I want good stuff written about my son so I want her to look out for any ‘positives’. She explained that even though I am paying she can’t lie and write something she can’t observe however she promised that she would write everything good she observed about him but at the same time make sure that she assessed his ‘needs’.

To put it in perspective how important it is to have those professional reports and assessments written the right way- with the previous EP report 5 school so far refused my son. And it’s the same like with you, I know my son is in reality not as bad, hence I was confident that once I pay for those private independent reports I knew I would get something good written about him.

So now I showed a new report to the prospective school and they invited my son to the assessment day. I mean, he probably will do not great on the day and not get a place at this school but at least they invited him!

Lyssalynn13 profile image

Yes! You can disagree and with an iep everyone has to agree for something to take place.

IDEA (Individuals with Disabilities Act) is an education law act that requires public schools to provide a Free Appropriate Public Education (FAPE) to students with disabilities who qualify in one of the specific categories detailed in the law.

There is a whole set of steps of which the last is a lawsuit. I'm only just starting this process and learning. Here is a link that explains the steps:

HumbledByNature profile image

I'm no expert on IEPs, but I do attend a lot of 504 meetings and what I've been told is that there doesn't have to be unanimous approval of the plan. The parent, or anyone, can disagree, but a majority can move the plan forward. I know of one past IEP in a school I work in where the parents were really demanding more than the school can reasonably accommodate, which is more than the law requires, and the team was trying really hard to find an agreement, rather than let the parents get litigious.

However- parents can appeal the team's decision.

Also- the team can include therapists, providers, grandparents, etc.- anyone who knows the child and the situation and can provide useful insight.

I'm only in my second year working in a support role in a public school district, so my experience is limited and my current knowledge is from what I've read (not comprehensive) and what I've been told by those I work with- well, plus a few seminars.

Onthemove1971 profile image
Onthemove1971 in reply to HumbledByNature

Yes, I have been to IEP's where the parent does not agree and they sign the IEP with the exception of.... then we can move forward. If the parent does not sign then I believe all services can be stopped.

I hope since this post was created you have made some progress on this matter.

Sorry this is so stressful for you guys.

You may also like...