New and floundering

[Mack2015]

Hi, I have a 6yr old son who is seeing a play therapist with no official diagnosis. We suspect ADHD/ADD and possible sensory disorder. He has not been officially diagnosed however the Vanderbilt chart shows ADD/ADHD requested by his physician. There is a child development specialist in our area in which we are awaiting an appt but could be 6 mo until the intital visit. In the mean time my son is seeing a play therapist which honestly is not doing anything other than providing him playtime with a grandmotherly figure. She has been helpful in offering the CHADD website and referral to the specialist. What are the benefits of him continuing seeing this therapist if #1 he has no official diagnosis yet, #2 they aren’t working on anything to help the chaos in his life and ours, and #3 it is costing us a lot of money.

It has given us a starting place and that has been reassuring to know we aren’t just crazy thinking something is wrong with our son, but at the same time I feel like we are just floundering around waiting for help.

My son is bright and charming and when he’s good he is utterly precious, but when he gets triggered it all goes down hill and fast. When life is going his way he’s fine, any other time it’s just frustrating for him and everyone else. My two other children have had it with their younger sibling and his relentless behavior.

Advice is welcome.

[SylvieS]

I have been in your exact position except our son was 5 when we started to feel desperate. We ended up getting lucky and the neuropsychologist we were waiting 8 months to see had an earlier opening come up. Our son is bright but very emotional, rigid and has sensory issues. She gave him his diagnosis (ADHD, Tics, gifted) and had a list of suggestions and referrals. We did every single one.

The first thing she recommended was a pediatric occupational therapist. This was probably the single most helpful person we have worked with. She was really good and gave us and our son many tools to work with for when he is triggered. She also helped us understand his behavior as did the neuropsychologist. They were both so good.

My son also worked with a behavioral therapist who came to our house to observe and help with the hard times (bedtime, dinner in our case). She was very helpful but expensive and our insurance didn’t cover her.

The last thing you might think about are any sleep disorders if sleep seems to be a problem for your son. Sleep disorders can result in behavior that mimics ADHD. A sleep medicine provider is really the only one who can make this diagnosis and we were lucky to have an excellent pediatric sleep specialist.

I hope that is helpful. It is so hard to sit back and wait while your child struggles. I wish you the best.

[SylvieS in reply to SylvieS]

I should add that he has also done play therapy with a psychologist and a psychiatrist and I found it to make absolutely no difference for him at all.

[Mack2015 in reply to SylvieS]

Thank you for your kind response and suggestions. I just pray that we get the help we need soon. It is extremely difficult because one minute my son is absolutely the sweetest and cutest kid and then the next minute he’s totally different.

[ASMomma00]

I was not a fan of play therapy. My daughter started down that road at 4 years old and continued with different therapists through age 8 but I never saw the benefit. I was too uninformed to understand if there were other options at the time so we sort of got trapped in the ineffective process. My daughter is 11 now and has been diagnosed with anxiety, ADHD and BFRB (skin picking disorder related to OCD). I would talk to a psychiatrist to get to an accurate diagnosis. My experience as that psychiatrists really don’t want to see patients unless they’re considering starting medication, so even if you’re not considering it I would just say that’s why you’d like a consultation - to explore your options. Then, once you get a solid diagnosis, the psychiatrist can recommend a treatment plan that will likely include different types of therapy.

[anirush]

My 12 and 14 year old grandson's go to a behavioral therapist. She does use games to make it more fun. But games like sorry if you get a bad pick you have to pick a card and answer a question. It's from a behavioral based game that ask questions about behavior, feelings etc. So therapy is intwined with the games.

When my daughter was really young we did play therapy I never saw much value in it.

[Janice_H]

Hi, do not waste your time and money with the behavior therapist if you find it is not beneficial. You can have him fully evaluated by a psychologist or psychiatrist who will recommend the course of treatment (medications, school modifications, therapy, etc.)

[limenavy]

I would ask the play therapist what they expect the outcome to be of the play therapy itself. Does it continue to serve a purpose aside from the resources you've already been given? The process of getting an accurate diagnosis can definitely make us feel like we're floundering, but you could ask the child development specialist what they suggest you do while you're waiting for that initial visit. The waiting time might not be so enjoyable, but in the end you can get the tools you need to raise your children.

[justine_lynae]

My daughter has Autism and ADHD combined, along with a few other diagnosis as well. She does play therapy, but it is not her primary therapy and definitely doesn’t replace her other forms of therapy. For her, it’s more of an opportunity to practice playing appropriately which she so benefits from due to her autism. I can see how it would feel useless for children with only ADHD, though! Hang in there, once he is finally diagnosed it’s so much easier to get the help he needs!

[Mack2015]

We decided to discontinue play therapy. We did not see any benefits and felt it was such a waste of time and money. There was no goal and no follow ups after appointments really. I felt like we were being taken advantage of really and I’m kind of ticked off.