I Need Help: My grandson is 9 years old... - CHADD's ADHD Pare...

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I Need Help


My grandson is 9 years old and I have been raising him for 7 years. He was taken from my daughter just before he turned 2 years old. Why because of drugs. My grandson has ADHD and I know that his father has or had it also. He is turning our house upside down. Whenever he does not get his own way. He turns angry and swears at us, he throws things. When it comes to homework forget it, he will do it only when he's ready. Consequences do not seem to effect him. I am really at my whits end. He is very smart but seems to be struggling in school this year. I am actually having an evaluation done on him at school to see if something else is going on. He already has a 504 plan, but at this point it does not seem to be enough. Any suggestions please that have worked for others I am definitely willing to try.

4 Replies

Having a new child in the home is quite an adjustment. Especially when there are behavior concerns. I know it is frustrating and tiring for you and your family.

It sounds like your grandson needs medication to help with the ADHD. Have him see a psychiatrist specializing in ADHD. The medication will calm things down at home, help with his behavior, poor impulse control and attention in the classroom. The psychiatrist can refer you for behavior therapy also.

If the 504 is not working, ask about an IEP. You will need to have your grandson diagnosed first before requesting an IEP.

I was also going to ask if he is on medication. My youngest grandson is born to a drug addicted mother he is much more unstable than his brothers..

Medication has helped for both the anger and the ADHD in school.

Hi raising an ADHD child is very challenging and raising an ADHD grandchild is certainly a lot more work. I know it’s hard but don’t give up as he needs you to be his advocate and help him.

You mention he has ADHD so has he been professionally diagnosed or do you suspect he has it? If he’s been professionally diagnosed then I

highly encourage you to talk with his doctor about medicine. My son has been taken meds since he was diagnosed around 6 and they have made a world of difference. They don’t work 100% but should help out with the behaviors you are describing. I’m sure your grandson is dealing with a lot of emotions so I would also suggest counseling for him to talk through his feelings. If he hasn’t been professionally diagnosed that would be your first step. Find a child psychiatrist that specializes in ADHD asap!

Also ADHD kids need structure. Keep him on a set routine and clearly set expectations and consequences. Make him understand if he doesn’t follow the rules, things that he enjoys doing may not be earned. My son knows if he doesn’t do his homework or get good grades he doesn’t earn time on his phone or Xbox.

Learn learn learn! It helps me so much to learn what the smartest experts have discovered, and what they recommend. There's a ton of great resources you can find on this site.

Another thing that helped me is making a vow to myself that I would never give up on my family. Just yesterday my husband (with ADHD) and I got in a huge fight. I was so angry and frustrated I just wanted to throw in the towel. But because I vowed not to give up on him, I was able to say, "I love you, but I need some space right now."

Good luck! You aren't alone in this journey of raising an ADHD Brain.

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