9 yr son and husband adhd

[Shamglo8]

My son was diagnosed with ADHD and odd at age 6. I remember when he was around 2 or3 I asked his doctor if are boys usually this active I knew something was wrong with my child. Dr said he was fine but he wouldn't sleep didn't take naps like my 2 girls did. My son is currently on Vyvanse 20mg and 0.2 clonidine . Everyday is a struggle not listening ,always right, forgetfulness and overeats. I also have anxiety and daughter 18 who has cerebral palsy. My husband seems to have same ADHD symptoms as my son but will not get any help I'm at the point where I'm ready to leave them both because it's so overwhelming. I know that sounds bad for a mother to leave her son. I would never he can really be a sweet kid at times. But I am at the point where I want his father to leave because I feel as though he's not setting good example for him. I feel like I have do to all of wife duties his and take care my children. I recently asked my husband to leave because I can't take it anymore. The final straw was when he bought a second car when mortgage and bills were due. I know I may be rambling with words now but I know that I have to make some serious decisions.

[SKM715]

My nine-year-old son also has ADHD and ODD. He shows the same symptoms your son shows with the always having to be right he's very argumentative, but he has loss of appetite due to his Strattera 25mg that he's taking. We finally talk to his psychiatrist and about his ODD and she said that Abilify was compatible with him. What I mean by that is we had his genetic testing done where they swab the inside of his mouth to determine what medicines were compatible with his genes. Strattera is the only ADHD medicine that's compatible with him. I don't think it works but he's going to a new school this year so we'll see what his teachers have to say see if he's able to focus or if it was just the Odd that was keeping him from focusing at his other school because he was being defiant. But since school's been out we have had like 3 maybe 4 times a week me and him would be at each other's throats because he wants to argue with you over if he's old enough for tall enough to sit in a regular car without a booster which we did speak to a policeman and he has to be 4 foot 9 in order to be able to sit without his booster and he's only 4 foot seven. He'll argue about when he needs to come inside my husband wants him inside by 8:30 even though during the summer time is bedtime is not until 9:30 but he wants to know why his friends get to stay out later what he doesn't realize is his friends have to play in their yard they don't get to leave their yard they don't get to go to other peoples houses and play with them in their house so that's one reason probably that they could stay out later cuz they're in their front yard playing. He also argues about Electronics he wants more time on electronics we've limited him to two hours a day on electronics because we want him to be outside being a boy and playing, riding his bike, playing with friends and we also have him reading for 20 minutes a day to keep up his reading. We told him if he wanted more time on electronics then he needs to read more than just 20 minutes read another 20 minutes but he argues with anything he can or he wants to be the boss or he's always right and this last week when we started Abilify (which is supposed to help increase his appetite) we've only had one major fight but that was with me him and my husband all in it, my son was arguing with me at the dinner table didn't want to put the iPad down so we can eat and after I asked him several times my husband finally said something to him and it just turned into a argument and then a battle/fight. So the Abilify seems to work he's on the very very lowest dose to start off with but like I said it's only been a week and of course this week he's at church camp so I can't see how it's working. I had moments also where I just wanted to leave it's gotten so bad that I didn't know how to help him I don't know how to basically fix him and I have had nights that I've cried myself to sleep and I feel like no one's helping, my husband seems to think that since he's not always fighting with him and our son seems to be a happier child that he's fine and so during the summer I started reading about ODD and ADHD to get a better understanding of both of them so I can help my child and I hate having him on medicine even takes folic acid, folic acid helps with brain function and the Gene test said he was low on folic acid, it's just a vitamin so it doesn't hurt him or anything it's good for him. I'm sorry this is so long, but I wanted to let you know you're not alone. I've always thought that I was the only one going through all this myself nobody else was going through the same stuff with their child that I'm going through with my son. I'm glad that I'm not alone but it sucks to have a child with these problems you just want to wish them all away or hold them pray that it all goes away but it's not going to go away that easy we just have to be strong, stay strong for our children. And read more about ADHD and ODD to find more ways to help him.

[Shamglo8 in reply to SKM715]

Wow your story is my story my life! It will get better just keep praying. My son has gotten better but still situation still hard.I can remember when he was first starting kindergarten and he wouldn't go to sleep til 1am. At times would not even go inside the school. Every morning we would fight he complained of stomach aches. He still hates school but gets on bus now. Does your son have an IEP? I had to fight so hard to get that. Also had to switch schools because of him having outbursts. He really did much better at new school last year. I have noticed that every teacher is different some are understanding and have knowledge about kids with ADHD.Hopefully your son will have a good year at his new school. Wish you and your family best of luck!

[SKM715 in reply to Shamglo8]

In kindergarten he was on a speech IEP because he was having trouble with certain sounds he was only on that for a year and then we had him diagnosed with the ADHD and ODD so we had the speech IEP switched over to a 504 for his ADHD and ODD with testing accommodations in there since he gets distracted really easily even with the medicine still when it's time for the third grade testing this last school year I had them add the testing accommodations that way he went into a smaller class, had choice of seating, be able to have breaks when he needed it. At the school he was going to only his second grade teacher could handle him she was a godsend. His first grade teacher he was constantly in the principal's office every time I turned around it seemed like every week I was being called for something and it's hard when your teacher yourself getting phone calls while you're in class teaching. His third grade teacher was a male and I hoped he would be able to handle him buthe couldn't and the kids in his class made fun of him and picked on him and so since he felt he wasn't getting no help from his teacher he would retaliate or sometimes he would even start it so they wouldn't bother him so now since he's labeled at school by the teachers and have kids his own age that are picking on him and making fun of him I'm having him transferred to my school which hopefully will be a little better for him. And now that he's got the Abilify for his ODD hopefully that also help him little better too with his impulsiveness. He does hate school and for the last two years he's been saying he wants to go to my school so I'm hoping that this will help him. And there are times that I've dropped him off at my mom's my mother-in-law's they took him to school since we both had to be at school to same time and he's latched onto me and wouldn't let me go he wanted me to stay with him or wanted to go with me he's, but so far he's never refused to go to school. 9 of times that he's told my mom he didn't want to go to school when she told him it's time to leave and should say well I'm sorry you got to go to school and he wouldn't fight with her he would get in the car and go. Wish it was that easy for me when he didn't want to do something instead of having to argue with me. Best of luck to you and your family also!!