Grandma asking Moms

[bananee]

I am the Grandma... What type of suggestions from the Moms out there are things Grandmas can do to help you the most?

[EJsMom]

First; Spend time with the grandkids doing things. Like teach them to bake cookies. Take walks. Looks for bugs outside. Build blanket forts. Paint rocks to look like animals. Etc...

I guess that would require participation front the child but I bet if the kids saw you sitting in a fort in the living room they’d come around. Hahaha.

Secondly, listen. We need to vent. We kinda don’t need a lot of suggestions on what we should do different but we need someone to say ‘you’re doing great’ and that kind of thing.

At least that’s what I would love ! (If my Mom was alive)

[Ecoopy]

Let me begin by saying Thank You! On behalf you f all the Moms who struggle with this dynamic. We only have my MIL left and I struggle hard core with it. Be involved...if you are asking how to help I’m sure you already are. Ask questions about you’re grandson/granddaughter’s diagnosis so you can help understand the intricacies of his/her specific needs. Let Mom/Dad vent without judgement, comparison or too much advice. Respect the schedule/routine Mom/Dad has a established...our ADHD kiddos flourish in routine and flounder in disarray. Sometimes grandmas want to spoil their grandkids with later bedtimes and extra sweets but that can be a nightmare for parents who have worked tirelessly to build a good routine that our kids are used to and respect. Lastly, know that you are loved and valued beyond belief and that you hold a key role in your family’s life even if you ask

[Ecoopy in reply to Ecoopy]

Sorry, I hit reply by accident while I was stretching lol. What I was saying is that you are so loved even if we ask you not to do some of the grandparent-ly things you’ll likely want to do. If you can open communication so that it’s comfortable for Mom/Dad to tell you what they need...that is the best gift of all.

[Reeeba1 in reply to Ecoopy]

This is so so valid. Thanks!

[Reeeba1]

In my opinion one of the most important things for grandparents and other caregivers is to familiarize yourself with ADHD, and understand how important it is that you’re consistent with and supportive of strategies implemented by parents at home. Thank you for being an informed grandma! Ask mom and dad how you can be a part of the consistent environment. Forget about the whole idea that grandparents are entitled to spoil the grandkids because in this case you can undermine weeks or months of work although you would not mean to do so. I really think it’s wonderful that you are asking these questions and please take my advice with a grain of salt because you may already be a rockstar grandma but I’m trying to provide advice which from my own experience would be most helpful.