Grandma caregiver absentee mom/dad

[Grammysserenity]

I'm the grandma caring for my grandson with adhd. His mom works and goes to school. She was out of his life for nine months and just returned. He was just diagnosed and she does not believe it. How do I get her to understand the importance of researching about it? He is not medicated, I'm trying natural alternatives. His dad is not in his life.

[EJsMom]

Hopefully, she will come around and maybe talk to friends who will have kids with same diagnosis and they will help her understand.

Some people never come around.

It takes people different amounts of time to absorb and accept things, much less try to learn about them. Be patient with her.

She may need to have a professional explain it. Doctor or therapist.

Are you the legal guardian then?

[Grammysserenity in reply to EJsMom]

No she's given us temporary guardianship but not through the courts

[EJsMom in reply to Grammysserenity]

I hope she’ll listen to other people. Sometimes it’s hard when our Mums tell us things, we don’t want to listen.

Sorry about that.

[Onthemove1971 in reply to EJsMom]

Of course we are not sure of all of the dynamics in the family, so it is really hard to comment of things.

But first off, It sounds like she is dealing with a lot herself in trying to work and do school, thank you for supporting this situation. Is there a way she can have the doctor who diagnosed him explain this the her. Also might be helpful if she can attend any sessions he goes to, like therapy.

Does she see some of the issues he struggles with?

[Grammysserenity in reply to Onthemove1971]

She only sees focus issues. The nine months she was out of his life were spent doing drugs and hanging with friends. She has never been there for him emotionally. She doesn't appear to want to parent, but be more of a friend. I am going to suggest that she go to next therapy, hoping she will.

[Onthemove1971 in reply to Grammysserenity]

Being a parent is the hardest job in the world, I am not sure if you daughter was "ready" to be a parent when she got pregnant and if she has a co-partner to help her raise your grandson, which if not makes it even harder. Then for her to have her own struggles with drugs. What I would suggest is that you do your best to support your grandson, like you are doing. I know from personal experience when anyone judges me about how I parent it feels horrible, so try not to think negative things or judge her. The "lens" she sees life through is different than yours. Try to love and support her as much as you can ( this might be hard and you might be doing this already).

Life is hard for young people...

It sounds like she is trying to get her life back on track by being in school and I think you said getting a job, she is very lucky to have you supporting her son.

Best of luck

[Grammysserenity in reply to Onthemove1971]

Thank you. It's hard but we are doing our best

[Mpeoples11192]

Hi Grammy!

Thanks for being a GRAND-Mom to your Grandson! Continue to do what you need to do for your grandson. The alternative choices for treatment include having charts up to help with the disorganization (I got them at the dollar tree) and realize that sugar works differently on ADHD, it works like Benedryl at night...at least for my son it did. Good luck!