adhd as a child, now an adult

[EJsMom]

Hello All~ I joined this group to find support as a parent of a son with ADHD and ODD.

However, as I’ve read some of the entries, I thought should offer another perspective.

As a child I had ALL of the behaviors we now associate with the diagnosis ADHD and ODD. I am female, so they couldn’t use the ‘boys will be boys’ excuse. I was constantly in trouble at school, mostly for talking and getting out of my seat. I could not focus to do school work. I argued with teachers and others. I also wet the bed until I was about 9.

My family life was very unstable. Of course that makes it worse because there is no routine and I didn’t have stability at home.

Mental illness and addiction both run strong in my family tree. There were no doctors or medicines for me. I was just labeled a problem child. Most of my teachers assumed I was below average intelligence.

When I was 14, I began to self medicate. I’ve tried most of the drugs out there off and on but really mainly used marijuana. I also sought approval and acceptance through boyfriends. Ended up pregnant when I was 15. Dropped out of school.

Ran away from home.

At that point my aunt and uncle stepped in. They took me in and let me live with them. They enrolled me back into high school and gave me a stable place to live. I followed most of their rules because I knew I was out of chances after them.

I continued to smoke marijuana everyday of high school, it calmed me. I managed to graduate with my class on time. I believe I had a 2.8 gpa. Respectable enough, but not spectacular.

I went on to college and earned a bachelors degree in, you guessed it, psychology. The irony.

And yes, I smoked pot in college as well.

Got married, had kids, quit the marijuana when I got pregnant.

Ten years later, after being a stay at home Mom, I went back to college and became a registered nurse. I was valedictorian of my nursing class.

So.... why am I sharing all this?

I want to give all you parents out there hope.

I had very little help with my issues growing up and I still made it. I proved that I was never dumb. Our kids with ADHD or ODD, or whatever it is can also make it. They can become whatever they choose.

The one thing I would say to people who ask how to help their child is this; love them.

The world beats them up already. They have plenty of negativity from everyone else.

They need our love and support more than anything else. They will be punished and ridiculed at school by teachers and in many cases by their peers. Being able to count on love from their Mom and Dad is so important. Even when we correct behavior or have to discipline, it should always be with love.

[Grandma01]

Thanks for sharing. I am the grandmother of a 6 year old boy, whom I live dearly, we spend many days together doing activities and attending fun events. My question is simpke: When you were young in school how did you handle the challenges Reading and Writing? I'm not too worry about his math as he seems to do fairly well at! On occasion he will reverse his letters and numbers but he has not been diagnosed with Dyslexia.

He does struggle with all the usual behaviors of ADHD and not medicated.

I'm so glad to hear you've overcome your challenges. I welcome your feedback! ☺

[EJsMom in reply to Grandma01]

Grandma, first of all, God Bless you for spending a lot of time with your grandson.

As far as school, I learned to read just fine. But I do recall having to read short periods of time and then getting up to move and then going back and reading a bit more. Reading was hard because it required sitting. I didn’t love to read until I was a teenager and by then it was an escape. Have you considered audio books that your grandson could read along with? That would’ve helped me.

One other thing I also should say to anyone who reads this; I truly never wanted to be in trouble. I know now, I had no forethought. I had no impulse control. I was not capable of thinking before I acted or spoke. As a teenager, I was more aware of my actions and words. As an adult, I still blurt things out sometimes that I shouldn’t.

[Grandma01 in reply to EJsMom]

Thanks I will keep that in mind. Do you have children that might have ADHD?

[EJsMom in reply to Grandma01]

I have a son with ADHD and ODD. He is almost 14

[Kelly60]

Thank you for the wonderful perspective and for sharing.

[capriwms1]

Thank you for sharing.

[okom]

Thanks for sharing. Really appreciate

[Clynn34]

Thank you for sharing, this definitely gave hope and inspiration.

[surfmomma]

Thank you so much for sharing your story! It brought a tear to my eye, reminded me about the big picture, and gave me the hope that I need!

[Grandma01]

Yes again thanks for sharing your story. I know he has a lot if potential, I just want to make sure he doesn't fall to far behind.

My reality is that I'm raising an Aftro-Ameticam boy in what cobtinyes to be a hard society.

But anyway he's good, we attend a lot of events and he's very very bright. I just want make sure he got the book learning down.

[Tiffany1973]

Thank you for sharing this!

I'm the mother of a beautiful 21 year old daughter that is still in hs, her last year...she still lives at home with me...

Life hasn't been easy since she hit 12 years old.

I am a single mother, and I stayed single so that I could focus on her abd help her however she needed to be helped. I have fought the schools, stood up for her and I've always encouraged her. She has no ambition...and has taken up, as embarrassed as I am to say, talking to guys on the internet, if you know what I mean. I have talked to her, cried, took off the internet, but nothing seems to work ...

I've finally just had to say, okay... You're 21 ...I love you, I'm here for you, but this is not how I raised you to act and I am ashamed that you act this way...

So, now I have to let go!

Let her find her own way and just pray to God that she doesn't end up dead!

This has worried me to death...I cannot sleep or eat...I can't even think!

[EJsMom in reply to Tiffany1973]

I pray my son doesn’t end up dead or in jail because he makes a dumb impulsive decision.

You’re right about your daughter having to find her way, at 21 there’s not a lot you can do.

You have to do what’s right for you. It sounds like it’s time for you to have your own life 😊

Possibly you could require she get a job as soon as HS is finished.