Victimized by the public school system

[Init2winit]

Brand new to this group. Desperately need support in order to navigate an advocate for my two sons ages 11 and seven. My oldest completing fifth grade in may . Was on meds for almost 4 years. When against my Gut, Trusted doctors and school system over myself and now Dealing with picking up the shattered pieces of our life in orde to move on. Med stopped in January. Been fighting for an IEP for two years and severe decline and last report card receipt beginning of April revealed what I told the school and district Would be the result. I now have a soon to be middle schooler (August) who is ill prepared.20 more days left of school and yesterday without advising me they sent an unknown person to sit with my son through all classes. The last communication was that additional testing and review was being done for special education services. During spring break March 2018 I had both my sons SPECT scan and extensive testing at amen clinic in Atlanta Georgia. I believed this documentation would be ironclad and receiving 504 accommodation letter from the treating psychiatrist Would be a nondiscussion , IEP prepared and executed and much needed interventions Began. Again decline for IEP. Actually a no response to me until a follow up. Public school is a government entity. I’m too intelligent to not have realize this. Even though the law clearly states That every child is entitled to a free access public education regardless of their disability intellectual or physical, It doesn’t happen. My children victims of in utero abuse by birth mom, and continued by Dr and school system. Collier county public schools Naples Florida. I do not understand why the school system does not realize they work for the public. They say they don’t wait for a child to fail but in my case and I’ve said all along yes they do and now I have proof. We have a superintendent of schools who lives on the wealthiest Street in Naples Florida gulf shore BoulevardAnd if she was doing her job I would have no problem with that.As with most parents we have to choose our battles. We have to save the fight and sinus for kids to help them be productive. I do not understand how the so-called educators administrators superintendence principles ESE specialists, go to sleep at night and feel good about what they’ve done. How they don’t see my innocent child the one move always said in every meeting he such a good child no behavioral problems, polite, gets along well with others, yes people you can’t see inside Someone to see the damage. How can these educated people be so ignorant of disabilities that are with in our brains are bodies with no physical evidence showing. I am broken and feel that I have allowed this to happen to my child the one God blessed me with and it’s my responsibility to take care of him. But I have failed up to now I put him public schools care doctors oh failed him .I was so transparent from day one about his background knowing full well It would affect him in the future.So now dad and I pick up the pieces and trying to move forward with the best solution for his future education.

[Grandma01]

Good afternoon, I have read most if your statement and realize there's not much time left in thus year.

Have you tried going to you school superintendent or thought about changing schools or school district. I think a charter school versus a public school may be better.

Even though we're about to go into summer break ... keep fighting, school teacher and principals are on break, high ups are still working.

[Init2winit in reply to Grandma01]

Thank you for reading my rant. I was venting and obviously needed to review . Voice text is great is easy but corrections necessary . Yes I am contacting superintendent and head of ESE .

[seller]

I keep wondering when parents of ADHD kids are going to band together for some sort of "Me Too" movement.....it took years for the "regular" special education kids to get services. When is this going to happen for our ADHD kids? It's terribly sad that your experience is the norm for many parents/kids all over the US. Why isn't ADHD recognized as a real disorder in schools? And what can be done to make this happen?

[Init2winit in reply to seller]

I say that every day about uniting. We all suffer in silence and it’s because I believe so many parents are intimidated by Those In the school system. I am not intimidated and like other parents I am passionate to the core About doing the best for my children. I am also an older parent I worked in business to corporate for 34 years, Same industry. We have a parent advocate who actually sue the school system for services 32 years ago when there were no services for his son. As a male he wad able To keep the emotion out of his dealings. Our school system hired him as an independent contractor however the neurological conditions of today and with in the last 32 years has severely changed. Well he has done a remarkable job for his son, and all those who follow her for the past 32 years,I believe it’s different when you’re in the thick of it. His son was not a result of autism or FASd , Environmental factors, in utero drug exposure, etc. While his focus on the law And his mantra don’t get emotional in the meetings “It’s just business“ Is much easier said than done no matter how much I agree. I sent him the understood.org video from Dena And I asked him how best to get it in the hands of the top and ministration because we have many parents Me included that are driven to the high state of emotional stress Which permeates down to our family and becomes physical as well. Because he is so focused on law I referenced FAPE. And his response was I don’t necessarily agree this is FAPE and Emotions have to be left at the door. In that instance the emotions were left and held until after the meeting and she was in her car alone. So when I say we need a change in our parent advocate to take us forward and make necessary changes This is clear evidence. To me the law of free access to a public education a.k.a. fape is being denied when the proper interventions assistive technology services accommodations, Proper testing etc. are not being

[BercotP]

I am so sorry you have had to go through such a bad journey. The public school system really is terrible. My son has ADHD diagnosed when he was in second grade. We pushed for an IEP but only was approved for a 504. We were treated like we were crazy. Since that day, I have learned a little more about why they were not willing to give us the IEP. My understanding is if a student “only” has ADHD they do not qualify for any other special services. Now, if they had ADHD + ? (ASD, OCD) they can then start the process of an IEP. The state does not want to have to pay for those special services, so if they can avoid it at all costs, they will. Apparently, having “just” ADHD does not qualify our children for additional services. This is so frustrating!! and because most doctors do not recognize Sensory Processing Disorder as a true diagnosis, our kiddos have to suffer in a classroom of 35+ kids. Our children “fall between the cracks” We eventually had to find a Private school that helps these type of children. My son is in his second year at his school and he is flourishing! We do have him on meds but his confidence has improved and with the smaller class size; he does much better with his SPD. Of course the tuition is insane and we have been blessed with a scholarship and help from family. It is unacceptable that we have to pay out of pocket so our child can get the education he deserves 😡 Our school system needs to be changed, somehow someway.

[Init2winit in reply to BercotP]

Both mine also have SPD and yes that in love itself beginning with my youngest in 2014 when he was 2 1/2 and in the same preschool since 11 months of age and then begin showing the SPD. So from April through July two additional pre-schools , third one started for less than a week, we kept them home with my mother until October 16 What time I stop working So I could devote full-time advocacy and testing so that when he started VPK we were ready. In retrospect my older one had signs beginning in kindergarten but not recognized by the school system as being anything out of the ordinary and we did put him on meds against my gut , End of second grade through January of this year.

[Adam081911 in reply to BercotP]

So you changed your child's school from public to special education private school?

What grade was your child?

I'm considering public school now. Currently my son is in catholic school. (Grade 1)

[BercotP in reply to Adam081911]

We did. It is a private school where they help children who are intelligent but have different learning g styles other than just what they teach in public school. Plus the smaller class size helps a lot!! They offer accommodations with children who may struggle with mild disabilities. My son is in 4th grade and he has 10 children in his class, he gets to sit in a bouncy seat while doing work, he can chew gum to help with focus, the students may listen to classical music while working AND if need be they can go out into the hallway to take a brain break by jumping in the small trampoline. It has been a life changer for my son. He’s less stressed, less anxious (most of the time) and he has more confidence. Our public school classrooms here in California are way over crowded. Average class size can be anywhere from 35-38 children to 1 teacher 😳 It was just too much for my guy. Plus he was getting picked in at recess because he was “different”. I will homeschool my son before I ever put him back into public.

[Init2winit in reply to BercotP]

Thank you .

[Onthemove1971]

Hello-

I am sorry that you feel that you are the you failing your son and that is not the school system failing him. I would first say that you need to document every communication you have with each person and have a file so you can refer back to him. The difference between the IEP and 504 is that the IEP will have goals that are set and followed and measured. With both you will get academic accommodation and modifictions if he needs them ( extra time on tests, quiet testing area).

I think a lot of time we are not "working" with the right Special Ed. Staff or psychologist. Have you contacted the psychologist at his school. They are the only ones that can give him the diagnosis and grant the IEP. The general school staff really are not. Skilled to help us, the special Ed staff have yo advocate for us and our kids.

I hope you can get to the right people and please don't blame yourself for things not going well. Best of luck.

[Cstreet]

You have a 504, right?