Loss of patience

[janaq]

Dealing with a child that has adhd wears you out..emotionally and mentally. I find myself getting really amped up and snapping more and more and I know this isnt healthy for either one of us. Sometimes I cant stand my child being in the same room with me or talking to me. This isnt normal. Anyone else feeling the same way and if so, how are you coping?

[Alex0110]

I am dealing with the same feeling. I have a 5 year old. He has already been kicked out of one day care for behavioral issues and is now almost kicked out of the second. I feel so bad because I don't know how to deal with him. I sometimes tell him about all the things he does wrong and then I feel terrible because I don't want him to feel bad about himself. I feel like a failure. If tomorrow he does not do well in school he will be removed.

[StrugglingMom]

do you get any time away from your child at all? perhaps to do a hobby?

[Sadiewatermelon]

Yes, a thousand times yes!!! I feel like I'm slowly going insane. Our daughter is not medicated yet, but that is going to be a discussion at her 8 year check up because that's the only way I think we can keep coping.

[4her]

Only 3 replies, really? I didn't want to have dinner with my ADHD child today bc I was so mad at what she did today. I just needed a few minutes to compose myself. So yes, I know how you feel. I'm sure we all do, we just feel terrible saying it out loud. Then my friend texted me. Her daughter is ADD and is my daughter's BFF. She did something crazy today as well and she's angry at her daughter too! I told her I'm seriously considering counseling. She said she was too. We need tools to help us cope with our ADD/ADHD children. *sigh*

[Aspenanddusty in reply to 4her]

Unfortunately counseling doesn't work for everyone. Both of my oldest kids thought it was lame and never helped them. And they are grown now. But the 5year old is showing the same signs of adhd. Meds definitely help. But only when they are on the right ones at the correct dosage. And yes he makes me feel like I'm going nuts too.

[Innocent_Rascal in reply to 4her]

We have tried counseling for both our kids. To be honest when they are young counseling is really more for the parents than for the child. At least that is my experience. Plus ADHD kids are so smart they seem to absorb everything and sometimes use the information learnt in counseling for their advantage in getting out of uncomfortable situations.

[Kadesmum]

Yep I think we are all with you on this one, anyone that says otherwise are lying! Or pure saints 😊. I am a very laid back person but boy adhd really does test the most patient of people! I love my son to bits but find his behaviour so frustrating.

[22789]

Parent education is an important component of a multimodal treatment plan. The more one knows about ADHD, the easier it is navigate the challenges. When at my limit, I tell myself that regardless of how difficult it is for me it is infinitely more difficult for my child. Look beyond the label of the disability. My child is not an “ADHDer”...he has ADHD. He is gifted, articulate, creative, a Boy Scout, a flag football player, an artist, a voracious reader, a son, a brother, a grandson, a nephew, a cousin and a friend. I look to his strengths when I need reassurance that I can do this. Best wishes one and all.

[Michaelmark0616]

Is your Child on any meds? Tackling ADHD without medicine intervention is tough, at least in my household. I know people tackle this without medicine all the time but our household would fall apart without it. My son was diagnosed with ADHD at a very young age. We have seen the differences with him on and off the medicine and he just cant function, focus, learn, enjoy life without his meds. Contrary to what people think you can manage your child's meds without he/she seeming like a zombie.

[janaq in reply to Michaelmark0616]

Yes she is on meds. Just switched to dyanavel from focalin which didn't help at all.

[capriwms1]

Conversations like this are exactly why I joined this group. There’s no shame or judgement in sharing your true feelings with people who share the same concerns. There are times when I need a “time out” from my son. You want to be understanding but we aren’t just Moms & Dads we are human and our feelings can get hurt or patience can get worn out. My friends and family use to joke and say I had the patience of Job. My son has tested those patience beyond measures. I love him dearly and I’m truly his advocate no matter what but it can be challenging to be around him after an episode. Best of luck to all! xoxo

[Innocent_Rascal]

You are not alone!

We all feel like that from time to time. And we all think we are the worst parents ever (at least I do). But the important thing to remember is that you do love your child, you may not like him/her very much right now but you DO love them.

I have 2 boys, 1 with ADHD in middle school and 1 with ADD in Highschool.

We are on the 3rd medication with my youngest and the 2nd for my oldest.

It is hard dealing with your own issues and stresses when working and then trying to be calm and collected to respond / work with you ADHD child(ren).

Hang in there.

[janaq]

Thanks everyone for your positive input. I was really ready to snap when I wrote original post

[MomOfAMermaid]

Hi my friend, it sounds normal for a parent learning the truth about a condition, looking for ways to adjust, cope, support and love an amazing and uniquely made child! I have shown myself to myself at times as the worst ever and also as the best ever. My little beauty teaches me the wonders of the world and I too am emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually tapped out. Then I reach out and receive support from the most unlikely places. Medication (for my child) is one of them, being on here is another and the internet is my friend. You are not alone and neither is your child! So I wish you and your family the best!

[4her]

Ps. When I mentioned counseling on my original post, I meant for ME as a mom of an ADHD child!

[81JB]

Yes! Everyday I think I have a better understanding of what my son is dealing with and I tell myself to remain calm and patient...he uses it up quickly!!!!

I end up yelling and feeling like a jerk but I swear Im talking to a "baby" in a perfectly healthy looking young mans body/face who is somehow not understanding basic stuff.

The cycle just repeats daily,im so exhausted

[Yazzie123]

I feel the same way. I snap at times and end up yelling and feel awful. I called and made myself a counseling appointment because I am dealing with a lot of anxiety over what is happening with my son. He is in middle school and on 30 mg vyvanse and 1 mg intuniv. He starts to rebound right after school and we go through an emotional roller coaster. All of the homework never gets done no matter how much structure there is. I could removal ALL distractions and he will start doing hand stands. It is painful. We wont increase medication because he barely eats and has lost weight. It is very hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel on some days.