Upon diagnosis of my child two months ago I’ve been doing research to help us begin adjusting and creating an even better life to help my son be successful.
A piece I’m missing and please don’t judge is how to explain it to my child. I’m pretty good about being honest about things that affect my child. I would love to have recommendations on books you shared with your child/children to educate them about their adhd or books that can help me as adult share my knowledge to my 8 year old in a kid friendly way!!
Thank you!
Written by
Mamayogi
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Thank you for explaining this to your child, it can make such a huge difference.
When my daughter was little we tried a word search - not a good fit. Then we tried mazes - she loved them. She was Maze Brain and I was Word Search brain - neither better than the other just good at different things.
I would go to her with real, I kid you not, problems and say "OK Maze Brain how would you do this? My word search brain can't figure it out."
"Oh that's easy just do that"
"Wow, thank you my Word Search brain never would have thought of that"
Never mind the humbling experience of a small child solving my problem (I swear they were real things I couldn't figure out and she never even hesitataed) she learned that her brain worked differently than mine and differently than others and that was better than ok, that was great because she could figure stuff out that even a grown-up couldn't.
All that to say, explain they see the word differently than most and because of that they will be really good at things most people aren't but also have challenges that others don't, and that's OK!
We accidentally give my daughter armor because if someone didn't get her - including teachers - or she had challenges with things at school it was OK because she is a Maze Brain. Maze Brains are good at different things.
Also, let them know they don't have to be good at everything. This idea that kids have to get all As is killing them.
Why do they have to be good at every subject? Who do you know that is good at Math and Science and English and Art and PE and, and, and? It makes no sense. Take some pressure off.
Show them what you are good at and what you have challenges with. Let their creativity help you see things differently. If they can show you how to do things then you get to show them how to do things i.e. they will listen to you, or try things your way.
Make it a game, how differently can the two of you solve the same problem? Come up with silly solutions and serious ones too. They won't even realize you are teaching them how to problem solve while at the same time allowing others to think and solve problems differently, AND it's fun!
Congratulations on figuring this out and being open to solutions and input from others. Your are doing a great job and are creating a child that will have the self confidence to share their crazy creativity with the world- thank you!
BLC 89
Full disclosure: I am an ADHD Parent Coach. I have been married to ADHD for nearly 30 years and raised two kids who have ADHD
I used this explanation for our son when explaining medicine for ADHD. I think it’s Dr Hallowell who says people with ADHD have race car brains with bicycle brakes. Something like that. I had explained he was wonderful, was a fast thinker, mover, etc, and because school runs at a different pace he needed some medicine to help his brakes slow down his car. I know this is goofy, but it’s a way he could understand it.
My son was diagnosed fairly early (right before his 4th birthday) so it’s been an adventure explaining his ADHD in a way that a toddler could comprehend. We are also very honest and open about it in hopes of destigmatizing from the onset. The replies you’ve already received are awesome so I won’t go into the specifics of our process (unless you’d like, happy to share!), but once he turned 5, a significant turning point was when he saw the Bluey episode “Army” (season 2, episode 16). It’s not explicit in saying the character, Jack, has ADHD but it’s heavily implied and had a large impact on his perception of himself — if nothing else, simply seeing himself represented in a show he and all his friends watch was truly affirming. Not sure how old your child is, but if you’re concerned that your child might not respond to a cartoon, I’d still suggest watching it. Bluey is one of those shows that hits you no matter your age, it’s truly one of a kind.
My son is 7 . We recently were able to see a wonderful doctor at our local ADHD clinic . I had never explained to him his diagnosis. She had a nice conversation with him and explained to him like that : you have an wonderful amazing fast brain that is like a Ferrari (he likes cars) , however your Ferrari Brain has bicycle breaks . We are working together to help you get better breaks
He understood that and first really liked that his brain is like a Ferrari and secondly understood the break analogy relating to his wiggles and impulsivity .
To be honest , that explanation helped me to understand his better too
I’ve learned to say that I have adhd super powers in interviews. Basically, I explain my ability to manage priorities, hyper focus on projects and handle emergencies calmly as a positive. Maybe explaining those positives is a good focus for kiddos. I think there may be a book or two for kids about adhd superpowers.
Wow! Thank you so much everyone!! These are really wonderful suggestions and I definitely look forward to explaining it to him and helping him through.
I love the car and bicycle analogy. To start talking about differences in kids. Like I usually ask my child, who is the tallest kid in your class. My son was usually the shortest. We have talked about blue eyes and brown eyes. Short and tall. Bony and filled out. All normal things about one another. No one is exactly the same. We can think differently too. We can accomplish things in different ways.
Hi, no judgment here - parenting is hard! Its great that you are asking questions and giving your son a way to understand himself. We really liked this video for kids on youtube
“That’s Me, I Have ADHD!”
It is a nice perspective that shows a child advocating for themselves. (Mine is also 8) good luck on your journey!
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