Making friends

[Teena1101]

Hi. My son is 10. He has ADHD. He struggles with making friends. He said he feels alone and is treated different at school by the kids. What can I do as a parent?

[WesADHD]

Hi Teena1101,

I have the same issue with my son he’s 7. My son likes to play with kids but sometimes he plays so rough. Also in school he screams and does other bad things. My told me he doesn’t have any friends but all the kids like him at school. My son doesn’t know how to communicate with his peers and just stays to his self. I told him to just say hi and just pick one person he really likes and start with them. If your son just picks one person he knows he can get a long with and wants to do the same. Then from there he can get comfortable with making friends. I hope this helps you.

[Crunchby]

I wish I knew. No parties or sleepovers for my 5th grader here, for the exact same reasons you stated. I do have mine involved in a lot of activities, gymnastics, team sports. This helps I think... She feels like she has friends outside of school. Hoping maturity and the right med combo will help. She tells me she eats lunch with girls now, which is a change. Hang in there. I wish there was a ADHD play group.

[christelferrer]

This is very sad to watch and know, we are in the same boat. I know it is more work on us but I have tripled my efforts to organize outings, reach out to parents, organize play dates, dinners with parents/kids, found a adhd parents support group in my area to find kids with whom my kid can relate, etc.

Basically I try to be the engine behind social activities. Exhausting but otherwise people won’t invite us. I get the messes, but my kid is happy when he sees friends.

[reg2018]

Making and keeping friends is so hard for ADHD kids for a couple of reasons. One is that they find it hard to learn the nuances behind social skills—what to do and say in different social situations. The other hard part is controlling their impulsive emotions with their friends. And while friends can and do forgive a lot, they have a hard time forgiving this emotionality in our kids because of how it makes them feel—horrible. And who wants to be around a person who makes them feel horrible more than good? One of my three ADHD boys is the worst keeping friends because he accuses them of stealing, is quick to get angry with them when they don't do what he wants them to do, and he makes them feel stupid by asking questions they don't know the answers to. As parents we can help by continuing to teach our children how to treat friends, how our children should treat everyone, and be an example of how we want our children to talk to others. Our example is going to be the best guide to them of how to treat people with respect and thus make and keep friendships.

[LaurieD912]

That has definitely been the primary challenge as of late. I feel like the “30% delayed development” really stands out now that he’s in 4th grade. He’s much more emotional than most of the other kids, impulsive, & just plain, more immature. And I notice that he lacks the ability to communicate “as a friend”. I try to go over these things with him, but don’t think he really “gets it” yet. I’m thankful he’s very involved in sports & I too try to be diligent with play dates & setting up group family activities. I’m hoping as he gets older it will get better, but middle school scares me to death! I was wondering if a psychologist would help in this area?

[81JB in reply to LaurieD912]

Im in the process of an appeal with my sons school and I need that "30% delayed development" information. My sons grandmother had mentioned that to me before from a book she read/speaker she heard... i can't fully recall. If you know where i can find it please let me know,thanks in advance.