All alone!

I am new here. I have an 8yr old son who was diagnosed with ADHD & ODD. I am here in hopes of getting some advice as well as hearing what other individuals might be going through. My son is struggling in school as well as at home. I feel that everything I try fails. When it comes time for him to do Homework it takes at least 2 hours just to get started :-(. when he becomes frustrated, his go to words are stupid, idiot, I hate you and you guys are dum. Is there anyone else going through something similar? if so how are you handling it?

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  • I feel like your describing my son as I read your post. I try to reassure my son that he is none of those things and that no one hates him. After a few minutes he forgets. We too are having issues with school, home and before care ugh some days are just so bad others good you never know unfortunately. I think my son needs a medicine change. Is your son taking anything to manage it?

  • greetings. yes my son is on something called " Adzenys" it worked for awhile. I believe his body has developed an immunity towards it, because it's no longer working. This weekend I will be trying something new, It's an extended release capsule. It's suppose to increase attention & decrease impulsiveness and hyperactivity. It's can be very overwhelming dealing with him. I am constantly letting him know how much I love him, and how smart he is.

  • I know how that goes. My son was switched to a extended release and i feel like he is having mood swings now. Thankfully we have a appointment tomorrow and hoping this doctor will help. I read somewhere yesterday that when they are having tantrums to give them a hug and just hold on usually it calms them. It worked when i tried yesterday.

  • i found that weight gain even in small amounts can cause the meds,not to be as effective. you may need to increase the dose a little if they get taller and gain a pound or two

  • Does your son have anxiety? That’s been a huge part of my son’s issues, because anxiety presents itself as behavior issues. It might not hurt to ask your pediatrician about anti-anxiety medication or a mood stabilizer. My son is on Prozac and Abilify, and he’s been doing much better. Good luck.

  • This describes my son exactly as well. We are trying intuniv to help with the immediate "I hate you, stupid etc" he responds with when asked to do something he doesn't want to do. It is not helping though. I have wondered about anxiety as it seems like such a quick response- like a wave of chemicals are released to cause him to become so angry so quick. He'll calm down in a few minutes, but for 4 years (since he was 3) we now have had no luck with this immediate response. sometimes he throws what he is holding too. Anyway, since the intuniv is not helping I was thinking about an SSRI. Did you start prozac and abilify together? Did one help more than another for the impulsive outbursts? My son is hyperactive but not impulsive unless it has to do with doing something he doesn't want to do. He is on adderall too which helps with his adhd at school. Thanks so much for any more info on the medications.

  • We tried Abilify first several months back, and while it seemed to help, he was always complaining he didn’t feel good. We were on our 4th or 5th medication at that time (we’ve tried a total of 10 so far), so we don’t know if he had just gotten used to saying he didn’t feel good because he was taking medicine or not, so we stopped that one. Prozac was the latest attempt at finding something to help him, because he wasn’t on anything for the summer and was okay, but it was a lot less structured than kindergarten is. He was not complaining his work and then getting angry because he was falling behind. So far (knock on wood) combining Prozac and Abilify seems to be a good combination. But we’ve thought that about other medications before, and it was usually a month before we saw that it wasn’t working.

  • thanks. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you that it keeps working.

  • maybe the intuniv dose is not high enough... if it doesnt cause side effects id talk to the dr. about the dosage

  • Thank you I will be sure to ask our Pediatrician about that.

  • Hello,

    I am new here too. I have a almost 8 year old with ADHD. I can relate. For the first time last night, I decided it's enough stress and decided we aren't going to do homework for two hours.

    We decided to have some fun, go to Chuckie Cheese, have a smoothie and just decompress. Afterwards, I brought up school. Talked about what's going on, what's going on at home and tears were shed. I tried my very best to just soothe him, understand him, relate to how hard it is to concentrate and feel like a spectacle at school. We skipped homework. I wrote a note to the teacher. The world did not come crashing down.

    I need to remind myself that quality time together, our life experiences with one and another is much more important than all the dittos in the world.

    His happiness is my happiness.

    Good Luck Mary.

  • The homework issue is a big thing for me as well. I even tried making different agreements with him & he still gets highly upset. I told him " you can play for 30minutes, then you have to start on your homework" I set the timer for 30 minutes & make sure to give him short reminders in between. Sometimes this work & the majority of the time he still gives me a hard time. I've also made it my business to make sure when we make an agreement he gives me eye contact, repeat what I say, then shake on it. I found out that works as well. I just have to remind myself to switch it up from time to time.

  • Hi there, I am new to this community and also kind of new to being an ADHD mom. My son was officially diagnosed with ADHD and ODD yesterday, and started his medication today. Your story sounds eerily similar to ours, as we have struggled with many of the same issues! We have suspected for about a year now that he had ADHD, but had no idea about the ODD. It explains a lot about his rage fits. I am also here looking for support because my husband and I are new to this and aren't really sure what to do..

  • are you sure MY son is not living with you? this must be his twin. by homework time the meds have started to wear off thus the behavior. my son would do the same. talk to your dr. about a booster dose of meds in the afternoon so that he can get through the homework.

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