My daughter 16 year old daughter wants to commit suicide

Not sure what to do,she has tried it a few times,and has been into hospital.I work part time,am a single mother trying to deal with this on my own,and not sure if I can take any more.She has been to the doctors so many times,but she is still the same.She says she has evil thoughts,and because of this ,she wants o kill herself.She is constantly swearing(which I hate) and is nasty to me and my parents

8 Replies

  • I thought I just wrote a reply

    How awful for you

    What a nightmare for her!

    Sounds like you need some support have you tried child line or nspcc?

    Most suicides I read are a cry for help does she have any friends?

    What did the Dr diagnose?

    So many negative influences on children if you are a single mum she maybe thinks she is missing out materially.

    Is there a chance of a holiday job?

    I believe if she has some trainging she will be allowed to work at her age I know she will not just be able to drop out perhaps a job will help her self esteem?

  • Finally I am so truly sorry to hear about your struggle

    I am sure others on here will post good advice

    It must be so hard for you and your parents

    Also your daughter can't be happy

    I do hope you find some help very soon

    Look after yourself

    K xx

  • Alyssa , I don't know enough to really help but I feel for you so much. There is not much that is more sad than to be a parent of a child with what sounds like some serious problems.

    That said you must try and insulate your mind as much as possible from your daughter's behaviour. It would be a tragedy if her behaviour also spoiled your life irretrievably. You'll only be able to do this if you commit to doing everything you can to get her the help she obviously needs . She is probably going through as much pain as yourself and despite her behaviour, try and give her as much love and understanding as you can. All this is easier said than done, but you must try.

    I'm glad your parents are close by. Let them know how much you'd appreciate their support through this ,although they probably already realise this.. The only cheering thing I can say is that sometimes young people in their late teens can have spells of instability and eventually come through it and improve to an unbelievable extent. I do hope so for your daughter.

    The only practical help I can give is that you see your Doctor, and explain the stress this is putting you under. GPs with any experience will know of similar cases and should know how to advise you to proceed and where to get additional help and support for both you and your daughter.

    I'm sure someone on this site will have had similar problems and will give you better advice on who to turn to. I don't feel I've been much practical help but hang in there . There will be no doubt someone posting soon who can give more practical help.

  • This may sound terse at first but stick with me here, this isnt a cure all, but some of this is may be because she cannot find meaning in her life. Sometimes the seemingly smallest changes are the largest.

    If you ask me the gold lies in finding what she does love, there must be something she would love to do all day. If she's like me she's a creative, I draw alllll the time.

    If you ask her she may well say nothing, but you know your daughter, watch her, try and work it out and then throw things in her path. If she was an alcoholic you could take her to a meeting and she may walk out. Your not making her do anything just showing her doors, maybe take her to a exhibition if its art (of Graffiti art if traditional art isnt exciting). If it's music take her to something for young adults to do with music, leave a collage brochure laying around.

    As soon as she shows an interest encourage her, show her you will support her in anyway you can no matter how diverse the thing she wants to do. She has the one thing money cannot buy youth, time. Show her what she can do with that time. She needs to be around positive people her age who can show her what she can achieve.

    Lets say it was music....a singer, maybe shed like to be a pop star, there are alot of schemes many free to introduce teenagers to music and often aimed at troubled kids. In the end she may not be a pop star but she might end up in PR or production, once on that track she may well find her own way.

    Maybe she is a writer a poet, poetry is becoming big again amongst the young and the work is truely amazing. They talk about what it is to be a teenager and feel disassociated.

    I know this is hard for you and to be kind to someone who isn't being kind to you requires great strength of mind. However if you could find her strength take her out of herself I believe it would benefit you both in the long run and could bring you closer together.

    It must be so hard for you as a single mum, but don't lose heart, teenagers are hardwork but somewhere inside is your little girl who really loves you and whom you really love.

    Find her hobbie, her true love and pursue it like it was a route to the lottery and who knows where it could lead you both and I believe it will dissolve her focus on death.

    Look to the positive and the positive will come, take baby steps, be reeeeaaaaallly kind to yourself and know that you can do this. If there are times when you both slip up, try and dust yourself up, say tomorrow is a new day and try again.

    I wish you the very best of luck xx

  • Oh the joys of being a single mother. Alyssa, I hope I am right in thinking that what your daughter really wants is attention. Why do I think this? Because of the swearing and bad behaviour. As the poem goes..."He only does it to annoy, because he knows it teases'.

    However you are between a rock and a hard place. As a working single mum you probably have little time and energy left at the end of the day, and reacting to your daughter's bad behaviour will sap your energy even further. Your daughter probably has no idea how tired you are, and sees it as lack of interest in her. Therefore she provokes you into reacting with her behaviour, just to get some of your time. It might help if you could try to ignore the swearing, and see it as a passing phase which will get better if you stop making it an issue, and instead try to think of something positive to pick up on. Even a little thing, like watching a film together might help.

    Sorry I couldn't offer more than this. Hope it helps.

  • Ahh!! You poor thing! How hard for you. I wish I could say something profound to help you. She may need a doctors referral to see a psychiatrist. No shame in that I can assure you. Speaking to a stranger may help and medication to help her feelings. You need support as well. I hope you have good friends that give you reassurance and nurturing,you certainly need to speak to someone In The know. I wish I could be of more help. I'm happy to chat anytime if you need to off load. A sincere friend. Xx

  • That sounds like a horrible situation to be in! To be honest, I have cut myself a bit and had suicidal thoughts, but I have never carried them out... The cuts are only about a centimetre long and are VERY shallow. I haven't told my mum because, as she told me many times, if she found out I'd been doing any of that, she'd kill me herself. I don't take that seriously of course, but I don't want to see her sad... ._.

    Best of luck for your future.

    Banana xx

  • Hello, alyssa Welcome to our site.

    So sorry to here about your problems,

    You say your daughter has tried to commit suicide several times and has been in hospital with this. What have they recommended ?. Has your GP decided on a course of treatment ?.

    What brought this on, was it school or any external/domestic problems ?.

    Many teenagers do have mood swings and sometimes this will possibly transmit into depression. If your Daughter is really in distress you will need to again get her back to hospital.

    What is She doing to try and commit Suicide ?.

    Personally you must be feeling very frightened and worried about what is going on, can we help. We have good people here that may suggest ways forward and act as listeners for you as well


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