Am I suffering depression?

[Used2BHappy]

I have recently been thinking that I may be suffering from depression. My life has changed in the last couple of years. I have never had a hugely exciting life as my work was the biggest part of my life having worked overseas and jobs requiring long hours. I have now got myself into a job which I hate and wish I never joined the company as it is an awful job that I now feel I do not want to go to. I feel my whole career has gone backwards by about 10 years! I have been trying now for 5 months to get a new job without success, coming close on a couple of occasions. I have started to blame myself and think that I should try something completely different but don't know what I can do and I know that now is not the best time to try and start doing something different or start a business myself. Why I have come on here is because when I take the job element out of the equation there are several issues regarding the way I feel which could be related to the way I am feeling about my job or my job issue is a consequence of the way I am feeling!! Not sure which way round!

Below are changes I see in myself:

-irritable and moan all the time

-lost interest in hobbies

-have lost contact with friends

-less sociable

-feel people are looking at me all the time when walk about in the street

-want to move away to somewhere else as think it would solve my problems

-do more things by myself and feel am locking myself away as no-one is interested in me anymore

-tendency now to go to work, come home, eat and go to bed

-trust less people

-make irrational decisions

-feel like a failure

-jealous of happy people with busy, enjoyable lives

-think that nothing good will happen

-blood pressure going up and up

-never get much sleep

-say I will do lots of things to try and change things and then end up doing nothing

-find it difficult building relationships at work

Some of the list above ties in with some of the symptoms of depression I am reading about on here. The biggest problem I have is that I am always thinking there is a better life for me somewhere else but not sure how I can get there as I feel so insular now.

It all could be a complete over-exagerration but I also think it could be something I need to speak to my GP about it. I have a good friend who has recently moved with his family to Australia and i am visiting them this June which I should be hugely looking forward to but part of me is just worrying if I can afford it! I can afford it and there should be no issue but I just seem to worry about the slightest thing.

I have come on here to do research and maybe find out if there are people with similar issues or have had similar issues and find out how they cope with them.

[missrat]

It certainly sounds as if this could be depression. It would be a good idea, as he or she can point you in the way of help - possibly refer you to free counselling - as well as five you medication. It's also important that your blood pressure problems are monitored and stabilised before your holiday.

It isn't a good idea to make major, long-term changes until you are having some kind of treatment to help your depression. You may be able to get through this where you are. What kind of work do you do?

I hope you can see your GP soon and make a start on the journey to wellness.

Ann

[Used2BHappy]

Hi Ann

Thanks for your comment.

I am an Accountant and have only recently moved to this job. Long story short everyone has left the company previously and the people who are there now are all new and get no support from bosses. I am not the only one who is unhappy there so I do think that moving might help but I still think I have an underlying issue. I think it's only recently I have started to think I may have a problem. I have attempted speaking to my father about it but he is of the old school variety that thinks depression does not exist! He just says not to worry as everything will get better soon.

I am due to go back to my GP about my blood pressure so I will see if I can mention it to her.

Thanks.

[Hidden]

Hi

It sounds as though you have spent your whole life working and now you are saying is that all there is? When it's a job you don't like that must have brought things to a head. Where's the rest of your life? Family, friends, hobbies? If they exist then are they good, if they don't then no wonder you are depressed. Rather than see yourself as ill why not look at your life and see what it consists of. If you are happy with it apart from the job then try to change the job, you won't need antidepressants except maybe to help you make the move. But if your life feels empty apart from work then counselling or therapy may help you to realise why there aren't other things and people in your life.

Suexx

[Used2BHappy]

Hi Sue

Thanks for your comment. You have probably summed me up precisely. My last job was very pressurised which I think has lead to some of my current issues. I then moved into my current job which is a complete nightmare and people leave there left right and centre putting pressure on everyone else. I don't want to admit it may be depression. I want my working life to settle down a bit which I think will help with the rest of my life which I am starting to block out. I could afford to leave this job and settle things down and get something else but it's taking a while to get another job so I am bit reluctant to do that which brings on more anxiety. I have an appointment with my GP for a blood pressure check so I going to bring up my anxiety feelings and see what she has to say. The whole thing is quite scary how you can change! I have never been happy go lucky, wonderful life type person but I have never been so strung up before. I have lost confidence and then I am getting stressed because I can't understand why I have lost confidence! Vicious circle!

Thanks for taking time to respond to my note.

Grant

[Jovialjoattimes in reply to Used2BHappy]

Confidence is snatched from us by others both consciously and unconsciously but remember we were all born confident. So get out there and make your mark and allow no one to snatch or knock your confidence. All the best Jo