I think something is wrong with me mentally... (please read)

[Md159160]

I think there is something wrong w/ me and i don't know what to do. I also can't tell my mom right now bc she is very closed minded and will think im being overdramatic or foolish. (Im a sophomore in high school and the oldest out of 3. I live with my mom but because of constant arguing i spend most time with my grandmother.

ever since i was young i was extremely quiet and wasn't very social. This probrably was bc my mom never really took time to connect with me like other parents do or bc she had to work & i was at a daycare mostly. I didn't have friends until 4th grade ( tht i remember, i don't remember much before then.) growing up i always acted slow (mentally)at home. Whenever my parents would tell me to go get something 3 minutes later i would forget wht tht "something" was. my parents often told me i had book sense but not common sense. i tried to act like i had common sense but i just kept doing dumb things.

when i was younger(around 3rd grade) there was a time when i was jumping across the sidewalk when i saw a bike coming. when it came close i got a sudden urge to jump in front of it. so i did. or when i tossed a teddy bear at a small round statue above my head only to have it come falling down on me ( i wasn't injured btw).......

During the beginning of school we'd always fill out these questions so the teacher could get to know us. Like what's ur favorite color or who's your favorite artist. These were simple questions but it always took me entirely too long to answer them. I was overthinking i guess.There would also be these times at school where i could be doing absolutely nothing & a girl at the back of the class would start laughing & i'd think she was laughing at me. I often think that way.

2 of my teachers (through out middle school )told me tht they thought i had ADD bc of my lack of focus and constant day dreaming, but my mom quickly dismissed tht idea when i asked her to be tested.And even though i know i'm not shy (atleast when it comes to performing or public speaking), when people speak to me out of the blue i tense up and just look at them bc when i try to speak my throat shuts & i can't. I also hve been told that i talk fast.

I am in no way open w/ my friends even if they think i am, and i have to try really hard to hold conversations with everyday friends(sometimes) or strangers(always). Also lately i have been unable to remember to text my friends back. I usually put it off.

Im afraid of what ppl think of me and im always up late night/morning overthinking things. and there are some times when i am sad for no real reason or up regretting things i have said or done that most likely went by unnoticed. Like questioning wether or not i said thank you to somebody. These usually go away after i wake up though.

Sorry if this is a lot to read. I just really need to find out why i behave like this so i can fix it or get help.

Thank you for helping.

[starangel]

Hello there. There is nothing wrong with you. You are an empath. That means you have the strong ability to feel the thoughts, emotions and energy of others. This may mean you can be a healer. Research it. You are actually blessed to be an empath. Build up your self confidence with meditation and exercise your body. Most of all be Patient and Gentle with yourself even when no one else is. Love yourself and connect with the Divine within. Blessings to you.

[Lydiaaa in reply to starangel]

This is such a lovely reply... I didn’t even have an account but I made one to reply to you. You may not even have the same account 🙄

[starangel in reply to Lydiaaa]

Thank you so much Lydia. I never check this account anymore but I just happened to see there was a reply. AngelBlessings To You.

[Hidden]

Hi Stranger!

Well that must have been hard feeling always apart from the group or different. From what you are describing it looks like you have some social anxiety, being scared of what people think of you or being judge. Is your self esteem quite low ? do you feel that people would have a real reason to not like you or reject you? Regarding the ADD, there is some self test you can find on the net, it's a start. Be aware that you can suceed in life - and VERY WELL - with an ADD, it's all about learning to work around it and use different skills. You are not alone so don't hesite to seek for some support! Mindfulness could really help you to take some distance from your negative thoughts (Palouse Mindfulness on Youtube is great and FREE!) and if you want to go deeper, look for a therapist (there is so good self help book as well) Take care of yourself !

[vioetblue]

I feel the exact same way, and idk what to do. I am a sophomore in high school. I think it's just all in our head but I could be wrong but I just feel like we over think everything way too much. I just usually listen to music and calm myself down after feeling upset or crying, even though sometimes I just cry not actually knowing why. I just feel like there's something different about me but I don't necessarily think that there is something wrong with us, we are just different. I felt like the only person who felt that way about themselves so thank you so much for writing that.

[Robynh1987 in reply to vioetblue]

Ive struggled with the same exact feelings my entire life, I'm 30 now and still do so you're not alone. Wish there was more awareness and easier to find resources to help better understated what causes these feelings

[goochipotato]

this is the same as me my life my head is messed up its so weird and and u know umm