Why am I like this?: I'm way to emotional, I... - Above & Beyond

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Why am I like this?

reeha_25 profile image

I'm way to emotional, I get into my head so much, and I feel worthless constantly. Why am I who I am? Nothing I ever do is good enough, it’s honestly so frustrating, I can’t even explain. I’m tired of bottling up my emotions, I’m tired of feeling like crying everyday, I’m tired of smiling when inside I’m hurting. I just don’t even know who I am anymore, and all my passions are slowly starting to fade away. I feel like anything I ever do is never good enough, yet I work incredibly hard. I come from a great family, but I feel like I hold way too many things inside. I tried to talk to a teacher that I thought I trusted once and at times during class she would call me out and mock me by announcing that I'm depressed and that she can't handle my depression, and that I shouldn't look at her for the rest of the class. The way she used to call me out was incredibly rude and I just remember bursting into tears. I never understood why she tried making me feel worse than I already did. It never made sense to me because I was and still am a straight A student and did exceptionally well in her class and now I feel like I do everything wrong and I feel like bursting into tears. I overthink way too much, I can never go to sleep due to me thinking about everything I have messed up on. I want to isolate myself, but deep down I know it will do more harm than good, I just don’t know why I’m like this. Am I just overreacting?

3 Replies

Making straight A’s is no easy task!!! Pat yourself on the back for that! You should be proud of yourself for achieving this. I’m proud of you and I don’t even know you. I struggle with being in my head a lot as well. I think if we try to breathe and go sit somewhere quiet under a tree or somewhere we like in nature it can help us get out of the endless loop in our heads and into the present moment. I hope this helps ❤️

You're just trying to Know YOU and Understand YOU. Be patient with yourself and talk nicely to you in your mind. You are worthy of Self-Love.

I'm so sorry you're feeling like this. First, let me say that that teacher was 1000% out of line and unprofessional. You trusted her with something confidential and she broke that trust by essentially bullying you. If you are still able, I very much encourage you to let administration know what happened with this teacher. That should absolutely NOT happen! Have you tired talking with someone who has the legal confidentiality clause applied to them like a doctor, therapist, or clergyman? This may help you feel more secure in opening up because if they break your confidence, they can go to jail.

From everything you've said, I am concerned that you really do have depression. (I'm a lay counselor.) Please at least call your doctor to talk with them about it. Depression is a very serious condition that needs to be addressed.

You have worth. You have value. You matter. Remember that.

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