I feel really bored with my life

[thatguyoverthere]

I'm a 17 year old boy who is almost finished with his first year of university . I'm an outgoing person with plenty of friends and some whom i can call my closest. I'm the youngest child in my family and i'm almost always on good terms with my family members. My family is pretty well off so i don't really have to worry about money. And I was always the happy boy in the community I live in (school, family, etc.). But, ever since I failed at enrolling in the University I had hoped for, I started feeling a little empty inside me.

At first it was just a little heartache, since I got enrolled at another university that had a good reputation, so I wasn't too sad. But then that empty feeling inside me started to get worse. I thought I would have just forgotten about the pain since I could start living a new life at the university where I got accepted at (which is in another city btw). And I was right, for awhile I started to get accustomed to the new friends that I got and the life I started living. But somehow I felt like i'm always faking the happiness that i show to the people around me now. I just felt like the emotions i'm displaying aren't real anymore. I started to often feel sad, bored, and tired. So then I started to go out more often with a friend who is feeling somewhat the same problem as me. We started eating out more often, watch movies and do the stuff that normal friends do. And I felt a little happier, I thought that my boredom could be solved by filling my schedule with fun activities.

But then it backfired, the other students at my faculty started saying that I waste a lot of money and that I am at higher class of the social hierarchy. I was really shocked cause I've never experienced something similar when I was living home, I mean I'm pretty well off but I'm nothing compared to the friends I have back home. Then me and my friend started to think a lot about how the people here think of us. I've never realized it, but I was also questioned for the way I dressed here. I don't think of my fashion as over the top since most of clothes I owned are vintage pieces that I stole from my father's closet, but it actually made the people here constantly stare at me. I was obviously not comfortable, I even took pictures of what I would wear to Uni and asked my parents if they think it looks too much. The replied by saying that it looks fine and I shouldn't think about other people's perception of me, but I just cant do that. I started buying clothes that would "blend in" more with people here, and it actually worked, people stopped staring at me and I felt relieved.

I'm a 17 year old boy who is almost finished with his first year of university . I'm an outgoing person with plenty of friends and some whom i can call my closest. I'm the youngest child in my family and i'm almost always on good terms with my family members. My family is pretty well off so i don't really have to worry about money. And I was always the happy boy in the community I live in (school, family, etc.). But, ever since I failed at enrolling in the University I had hoped for, I started feeling a little empty inside me.

At first it was just a little heartache, since I got enrolled at another university that had a good reputation, so I wasn't too sad. But then that empty feeling inside me started to get worse. I thought I would have just forgotten about the pain since I could start living a new life at the university where I got accepted at (which is in another city btw). And I was right, for awhile I started to get accustomed to the new friends that I got and the life I started living. But somehow I felt like i'm always faking the happiness that i show to the people around me now. I just felt like the emotions i'm displaying aren't real anymore. I started to often feel sad, bored, and tired. So then I started to go out more often with a friend who is feeling somewhat the same problem as me. We started eating out more often, watch movies and do the stuff that normal friends do. And I felt a little happier, I thought that my boredom could be solved by filling my schedule with fun activities.

But then it backfired, the other students at my faculty started saying that I waste a lot of money and that I am at higher class of the social hierarchy. I was really shocked cause I've never experienced something similar when I was living home, I mean I'm pretty well off but I'm nothing compared to the friends I have back home. Then me and my friend started to think a lot about how the people here think of us. I've never realized it, but I was also questioned for the way I dressed here. I don't think of my fashion as over the top since most of clothes I owned are vintage pieces that I stole from my father's closet, but it actually made the people here constantly stare at me. I was obviously not comfortable, I even took pictures of what I would wear to Uni and asked my parents if they think it looks too much. The replied by saying that it looks fine and I shouldn't think about other people's perception of me, but I just cant do that. I started buying clothes that would "blend in" more with people here, and it actually worked, people stopped staring at me and I felt relieved.

At some point I was so bored that I actually bought train tickets to go see my friends in another city, the city of the University I really wanted. I know it wouldn't be a fairly wise choice to go there since I'm still kinda sad for not enrolling there. But, turns out I was even more sad that the people there are so different from the people where my University is, the people there don't care what I wear or where did I go to eat for lunch, they just don't bother with that. When I got back to my University, I started comparing and I eventually felt really sad. Then it hit an all time low when I stumbled upon the stupid and funny photos and videos I made with my friends in High school. I feel so empty right now, I have nothing to look forward when im living my life. Dont get me wrong, I luckily don't have any suicidal thoughts. I just want to be happy again, I want to laugh or smile without having to force it. I really wish I could turn back time, I'd do anything to relive the days where I was actually happy.