Abused husband

[Lando78]

I’ve come to another crossroad in my marriage. I have 4 children and have been married for 12 years now. This pass week we had a argument and my wife started to hit me and throw things at me. My 3 yr old was home at the time and fortunately did not get hit by anything but was extremely upset. My wife tried to take my daughter out of the house but I was able to get to her first. I did call 911 and the police came and they did take my wife away to jail. They did ask me if I wanted to press charges but to tell you the truth, I didn’t know what to do and said no. They said they were still taking her away and the prosecutor would decide. She was released the next day and when I tried to find out what exactly happened while in custody she wouldn’t speak besides saying “ nothing “.

I also asked her what she sees for our marriage future, again no response. At that point I told her we were done. Now of course she wants to go to counseling and try to fix our marriage and get a divorce.

We have been to counseling before about 7 yrs ago when when this exact same stuff happened before. Except that time she was not only threatening my life but the kids. She was taken to a mental health facility where they said she was suffering from postpartum disorder.

Over the years she has hit me before but not as much as this time. I never hit her back because I know i could really hurt her and I would be the one taken away.

Just wondering for anyones input, thank you.

[Hidden]

Hello, sorry you are in the situation you are in. If she is abusive you should probably think about leaving. If you think counseling will help and you are willing to give her another chance then try that first. You have to think about what is best for your children and for you. You can’t take care of your kids if you aren’t taking care of yourself. It’s a hard choice. Maybe try the counseling together and separately. Sometimes talking to a professional helps you figure out what you need to do. Good luck!

[Tekakwitha]

I have a male friend who is a big guy and seemingly able to take care of himself. But his wife attacked him physically over the years and he would never retaliate. It seemed unreal but after his revelation and a breakdown he divorced his wife. The children chose to be with him as he was kind, gentle and funny. It was very hard for him to go through with it all but since then he has remarried and is deliriously happy. It had taken me a little while to realise his situation but looking back he had a blighted life when he suffered abuse. He couldn't imagine a future life so his current life is an every day blessing.

[Lando78 in reply to Tekakwitha]

Thank you.