Yes or Yes?

[otherdimension_]

I’m 20 and been diagnosed as having a depressive disorder and anxiety.

I've been away with my parents for 7 years because they have to work abroad. I was 12yo at that time, as I grow older I’ve become an independent living and making a decision in my own. I have never been rebellious, got good grades and almost finished my Engineering Degree. When I was bullied during college, I got depressed and I run away and moved to another country and this is where I am right now. In London.

Everything was fine when it started. After a few months, life has been so miserable. My parents were always fighting, my Dad is being aggressive and abusive to me, my Mum we're always having attacks and hospitalized. My mum was so controlling like she doesn't want me to hang out with my friends, the late time for her is 7pm and I have to go home before that or else she’s gonna be upset. She always plans things for me like moving to Australia and study Economics, even buying stuff for myself I have to ask her. I can’t be myself. My parents are holding me back. I thought of moving to another country makes me start a new life but it's not.

I received a a lot of help from my boyfriend, friends. But my parents don’t know anything. I commit suicide twice, had panic attacks in public places. I can’t see any life ahead of me. I don’t know what I want anymore, what my hobbies are, what food do I want. I feel empty. I’m becoming needy. I am hurting the people around me.

What's the purpose of Life? I believe that family is the only one who can you rely on but for me, I can't trust my Family.

Could I give up already?

[kenster1 Moderator]

hi your 20 and a grown up adult.your finishing your degree soon after that make your own choices in life.im sorry to hear about your parents being in control over you but maybe they think there way is best even if its not.you will find your purpose in life and that will stand you in good stead for the future.you sound very much educated so im sure in time the choice you make will be the right one.after your degree you should talk to your parents about your situation make them know your in control of your own life.

[Iluvhorses]

Hi, my name is Michelle. It's nice to meet you I was in a similar situation a few years back. I was living with my Dad who was always yelling at me and being a little controlling. I moved out and into,a homeless shelter. Eventually I found my way to my Mom and moving in with her was a great decision for me. She is disabled so I'm pretty much on my own and I have a job. I wouldn't have my life any other way right now. Maybe you could get a job and move out. Do you have a friend or family that you could live with? Moving out will be the scariest thing you can do, but sometimes you have to take that chance if you know what I mean.