I feel like there is something wrong with me - Above & Beyond

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I feel like there is something wrong with me

Bananna123
Bananna123

Hi so I don’t know where to start...ok so i feel like so many things are happening to me weird things. I feel like I’m very sensitive like i just walked down the hall way and my dad said i want you to clean your dishes in the morning and clean the other ones and right there i got so emotional and he’s told me the same thing before but i never got like that and once i entered my room i started crying it was so weird and heres another thing. When i was about 12 (im 17 now) i would always do these weird things like say if i touched a book i would touch it again and say if i open and closed a door i would do it again. I would always repeat things and i have no idea why and i still do it to this day and i never get out of my house im always and i ALWAYS stay in my bedroom in my house playing games and i am a girl if you people who are reading this are wondering and anyways im always in my bedroom all day long and never get out unless my boyfriend who is across the country is here with me...he’s the only one who makes me happy :/ and i love him so much we’ve been dating for 2 years but i get so controlling with him because i live in California and he lives in florida and it sucks i get mad at him for the littlest things and i hate it so so much idk why i do it i dont ever want to be like this with him it breaks my heart because once i get mad and yell at him i immediately cry after i get done yelling at him because i dont like to or mean to get mad at him and i tell him he doesnt belong with me and he should get someone better than me but he doesnt want to and apart of me doesnt want him to either but i just hate getting mad at him and it is so freaking hard to not get mad and i feel like i have anger issues or im bipolar😭i really dont know and then i get annoyed really easily with people and this one is a big issue which makes me think im crazy :/ when im alone in my room listening to music i get so emotional sometimes and thinking about what it would be like if my boyfriend was gone like passed away or if that happened to my family i get these weird images popping up into my head and i think that these monsters are gonna take my family and my boyfriend away from me. I know im crazy and something is wrong with me i have no idea what but i want it to stop. I just want to be happy and be normal and it sucks so much because every night i cry myself to sleep wondering if i’ll ever be normal. Or i’ll probably end up being put into those psych hospitals. Maybe im overthinking about the psych hospital but i’m very serious about the other things. Please someone tell me whats wrong with me because i know there is something wrong.

2 Replies
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Hidden
HiddenSupporter

Hi Bananna123,

I understand the overwhelming emotions, the anger issues and the frustrating with anyone over things big or small.

I suggest seeing your doctor, writing down the things that are troubling you could be helpful so you don't have to remember everything on the spot.

A thing I do when my emotions are over whelming is I go to somewhere I love that's out of the house, for me that's the beach, to listen to the waves rolling in. And I also like to try doing the opposite to my emotion. It's a skill from a therapy I did called DBT and for example, if I am feeling sad and don't want to leave my bedroom and just want to hide away, I do an opposite action to that emotion and I even having a shower is an opposite to just laying or hiding in bed. And then from there I can work on the next opposite and I find 90% of the time it helps and I feel a lot better.

Everyone in this online community is always here to help as much as we can :)

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