I know there is something wrong with me, I ... - Above & Beyond

Above & Beyond
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I know there is something wrong with me, I just don’t know what it is.

Brynlee_A
Brynlee_A
8 Replies

This is my first time doing anything like this. I just wanted to know if there was maybe anything wrong with me? Mentally. I am pretty young, so whenever I tell an adult how I am feeling they say it’s just hormones, but I don’t know. About two years ago, my parents divorced. I know that’s a long time, but it effects me still. I have a connection with my father more than anyone else, and I miss him so much. I live with my mom and my five sibling. I don’t talk to my mom much, I don’t feel like she understands the way I feel. And overall I feel so lonely. I help everyone that I can, I listen to them, give them advice, care for them. But I feel like no one will ever do the same for me. I wish I had someone to lean on instead of everyone leaning on me. And maybe it’s my fault, for wanting to help people, but I just wish someone would help me. And I don’t know, I know there is something wrong with me but it’s so confusing and I can’t put my finger on it. I make things more difficult than I need too. I sometimes have suicidal thoughts, and I’ve dealt with self harm. Not because i feel empty, because I feel so overwhelmed with everything and need something to focus on. And then at the end of the day I just feel emotionally exhausted, and I don’t wanna do anything. I’m sorry if I’m being over dramatic.

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8 Replies
oldestnewest
Brynlee_A

And I feel like once I figure out what’s wrong with me, I can start to live with it, or conquer it, or whatever. Thank you

kenster1

hi just wondering if you are the eldest.

1 like
Brynlee_A
Brynlee_A
in reply to kenster1

No, I am the 3rd child.

hypercat54

Hi if you are 16-17 you can see a doctor and ask for it to be confidential. It will be unless s/he is concerned for your safety (duty of care and all that).

However if you are 18 or older you can see a doctor and it is forbidden by law to tell anyone else as you are officially an adult. Which category do you fall into?

I should imagine your mum has very much got her hands full with 5 children to raise on her own and is maybe expecting too much of you. I also suspect you are a 'people pleaser' in that you put others feeling above your own. If so this needs to stop as you need to start looking after yourself. Suicidal feelings and self harm are red flags that you need to seek professional help. x

1 like
Brynlee_A

Oh I had no idea that was illegal! I’m actually 13 going on 14.. I wanted to see if If I was the only one feeling like this, and what I could do to get better.

hypercat54

Sorry this is an adult site and Health Unlocked's term of conditions are that you must be 16 or over to become a member here.

I have contacted our admin who will be in touch with you, make sure you are ok, and refer you to more age appropriate sites where you can get the help you need. x

-Sasha-

You remind me so much of myself when I was younger. Always offering the shirt off your back, if needed, but when the time comes where you need some help no one seems to be around. From what I've learned, when you are constantly the one helping others people see the strength in that and don't think to ever ask how you're doing. Bittersweet I guess.

One thing I noticed in your post is you're pretty hard on yourself. I feel like because your feelings have been constantly dismissed by others, you tend to dismiss them yourself. My apologies if I'm wrong. Honestly tho, it really doesn't matter your age, LIFE doesn't discriminate. It doesn't matter that your parents divorce was two years ago, there's no time limit on mending a broken heart. Losing the only version of family that you knew plus losing the close relationship with your dad, does damage. You have every right to feel the way you feel and don't let anyone make you feel like you don't.

I was in denial about my depression for years and it took me a long time to finally start taking care of myself, don't be like me. Start fighting now because if you don't start taking care of yourself now, you'll be in for one hell of a fight later.

Sorry this was so long. Like I said you remind me of myself so I really related to your post. Hoping for the best for you.

~S~

2 likes
Brynlee_A
Brynlee_A
in reply to -Sasha-

Thank you so much, I appreciate you took time out your day.

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