Above & Beyond


I'm sitting on my couch crying because so many things have gone through my head today, yesterday, day before and I am so overwhelmed..

I am 21 and have no college, barely any work experience, I have no idea what so ever what I want to do as a career, I'm so worried I'm going to be a dead beat.

My husband an I have been trying to have kids but it's not happening. I don't know why, we are seeing a doctor but nothing yet.

I am so paranoid about the future, constantly questioning it.

I feel completely worth less most of the time. I can't get out of bed most days. I just want to sleep.

I am so dependant on my husband. And even before that I always had to have someone love me.

I have no desire to leave the house or even shower most of the time.. I'm usually calling in sick just so i don't Have to go any where...

I don't know what's wrong with me. I want to get better. But I can't 😭 and I'm so afraid to get help because I've seen so many therapists before and none of them have helped me.

5 Replies


Seems the only thing holding you back is YOU...surely your G.P.can prescribe a medication

to ease your mind,such as an anti-depressant. Mirtazapine is working for me it seems.HAVE YOU tried asking your GP??


Dear Lish01

Firstly, I say this to everyone I write to, well done you for taking a huge step in writing on this forum. Recovery is that much closer now 🙂

It does sound like you’re suffering with depression, I had the same symptoms and I found getting out of bed in the morning the biggest struggle. Please note I am not a medical professional here, and I would strongly urge you to see your GP where they will be able to help you with a diagnosis.

One thing I want to touch on is that you are trying for a baby. This is such wonderful news that you and your husband want to start a family. I have a very close relative who was trying to get pregnant when she was suffering from chronic depression and her body simply wouldn’t allow her. However, once she was on the road to recovery, her body decided that she was healthy enough to conceive and sure enough, a happy healthy baby was born. She had room to grow inside a healthy and happy mum and mum agreed, being pregnant was so beautiful when she was feeling herself again. Remember to tell your GP when you do see them that you want to have a family soon, because some medication won’t be suitable if you are pregnant/trying to have a baby.

What country are you based in? There are different structures in different places around the world, but here in UK there are amazing courses you can take in your own time or even online to gain qualifications. Some even have a cresh where you can leave your child for the day whilst you study!

Something I have mentioned to a few people on this forum is how I started getting out of bed. I would set myself small challenges when my partner went to work. The first was to empty the crumbs from the toaster into the bin. Then I was allowed back to bed. Then it was to hang the washing in the dryer room. Then back to bed. Then I would do something like, change the bed sheets, then bed. Then collect the post then bed. Finally, I managed to take the rubbish OUTSIDE for the bin men. It was a huge step for me being outside the house but taking these tiny step one at a time made it possible.

I know you have it in you Lish01! I strongly urge you to go and see your GP about this and say you need to talk to a professional.

Things will get better - I wish you all of the best, you will be in my prayers today.

Warm wishes


1 like

Hi Lish01

Welcome to our friendly community

First of all you have come to the right place and well done for opening up

I'm so sorry you are going through this stage in your life.

I know you say you are worrying about your future we've all been there and done that if I was you I would try and deal with one issue at a time to give your mind relax time Inbetween I think you have consumed your mind with so much worry and emotions your brain didn't know what to do with itself and we've all done it we've all been there and still do it sweetheart your not alone there everyone worries about their future maybe you should do what you really want that dream job you've always wished to have go for it...if you have no experience then go to college do voluntary work to gain experience..I'm sure your husband won't think you a drop out he's your husband he won't think like that about you..can I just say if your as stressed as you are you reduce your chances of having a baby stress holds back many things for example when im stress I don't eat so my system goes down and I become weak all because I haven't eaten...please it will happen when it happens maybe your trying to hard maybe if you relax and think if it happens it happens you've got more chance I remember when me and my ex wanted a baby I was far too eager co stantly checking if I was pregnant if I ovalated if I was 2 days late I always got excited thinking this is it im gonna be pregnant I'd then be devastated because it didn't happen then one day I thought ya know what if it was meant to be then it will be and then a month later out of the blue I was pregnant !!!! I thought maybe im too eager to get pregnant if I let nature take its course then I have more chance...what you need to do my swèet is get yourself better and back on your feet first then once your building yourself up everything else will fall into place think positive...you can do this but first you need to get step get and push yourself to get out of that bed watch tv go to shop or for a walk motivate yourself I know it's hard but if you don't push you will never know you have got such a bright and fabulous future ahead of you grab it now while you can sorry it's so long I just feel your pain but you've got this my friend



hi 21 is still young.i had no relevant experience either but volunteering in different things changed that.why not think of something you would like to do and check out your local volunteer centre.try not to rely on your partner so much as you will forger who you really are.im no doctor but you have similar issues I had before I was diagnosed with depression.dont hold back your feelings tell your partner a friend doctor anyone for that matter how you currently feel.its always the first step on your journey to recovery.as for babies I wouldn't be to worried about that just now you should concentrate on getting in a better life balance and then think of having kids together.


Good morning l know mornings are worse when you feel depressed l struggle more then so l wanted to say hello ,you not alone ,l find it l write down things even words l feel. It takes in away from me feeling them all the time and drawing using colour to say what l feel and it's a away of doing something ,l take little steps like making a cuppa and then go for a walk if you can where quiet ,just for five mins ,little steps .you are writing on here that's great we are here for you .do try antidepressants we have chemical imbalance s that need replacing and they help .don't think about the long term future ,just the next day ,some times MIND has group you could one day join .keep posting how your day was


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