I'm making myself miserable by compar... - Above & Beyond - ...

Above & Beyond - Mental Health

5,482 members1,509 posts

I'm making myself miserable by comparing my life to that of others. I'm 39.

Darren1977 profile image
2 Replies

First of all, my life isn't all that bad and I know others have it worse however I cannot seem to stop comparing myself and whst I have, whst I've accomplished and where I am in life to others. I live alone, have a job I don't hate and I have a gf I'm crazy about though circumstances are difficult as she's 12 yrs older than me with 2 teens and I know I will not have kids with her but she makes me laugh. I just feel really unfulfilled in my life and seem to make excuses for not doing things though i do have dreams and things I'd like to do. Im quite shy and fear being judged. I was emotionally bullied at school as we were quite poor and this made me really defensive and stubborn but I fear it's stopping me building relationships with strangers. I see others carrying on with their happy lives, having kids, doing the family things, going on holidays, having circles of friends and then look at myself. As a result I'm up and down with my weight, lack energy and can be very moody, though most that know me would assume I'm happy from the outside. I'm starting to resent people for enjoying their lives when I just make excuses for not taking chances. Am I the only one?

Written by
Darren1977 profile image
Darren1977
To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .
2 Replies
chloe40 profile image
chloe40Administrator

Hi Darren1977

Sorry to hear you're feeling like this, especially when you have so much going on in your life. Maybe you would benefit from talking therapies, to discuss all that happened when you were younger, if that is what you feel is holding you back, certainly worth a try.

Chloe

Hello Darren1977 and welcome to our Community.

I can assure you that you are not alone Darren1977. However, comparing your life with the lives of others is not helpful and can often lead to negative emotions and behaviours.

I agree with Chloe that talking therapy may help increase your self-esteem and confidence. Please do keep in touch, I wish you well,

Lottie

Not what you're looking for?

You may also like...

Constantly feel bored and empty, like life has no meaning.

I really struggle with a pervasive feeling of boredom/emptiness - lack of enthusiasm for anything,...

I feel like something is wrong with me but I don't know what

Hi everyone! This is my first post here and I'm a bit nervous. For the past few months I have been...

Am I a monster? What am I?

Hi, I just created an account because I need to talk to somebody, really I think anyone could do as...

What Do I Do Now?

There doesn't seem to be a lot of action on here, but I thought I'd just make a blog post anyway,...

low mood/ low or lack of motivation

I have been feeling very low and have no or little motivation. I can be irritable and have no...