I think I need some help...

[IntrovertMe]

Hello, this is my first time doing something like this. I never really talk about myself a whole lot, only in snippets and pieces (and when I do, I get super uncomfortable). I have a really bad (low) self esteem problem - to the point where I feel like everyone I meet is better than me, and I feel the need to make sure they are happy at all costs (but because I don't want to bother anyone, I usually end up shouldering the burden to make others happy...). I feel really uncomfortable when people do nice things for me, because I don't want them to inconvenience themselves by helping me - I feel I am not worth it. Because I feel like this with everyone, I often times find myself getting exhausted by company, and just want to be left alone. But this makes a lonely feeling inside me consume my every thought, and I constantly have negative feelings about myself. It's gotten to the point where I can't even see the point to, well, life. That is not to say I am suicidal (before anyone gets the wrong impression), but no matter what I do, it won't matter in the end, so why even do anything? To further that point, why even be? I have severe intimacy issues, so I am still a virgin (I am 21), and I can't handle being in a relationship because of the aforementioned low self esteem problem and intimacy issue. I have been thinking about college, but I have no desire to really be anything in life... I love to read, I read EVERY minute of the day that I am not working or doing errands. But I don't know about writing... I don't have any creative ideas. I don't even know why I am on here, honestly, and I feel really anxious about posting this... I don't think I come across the way I want to. I really don't even have a point in writing this, except I don't know where to go at this point. Anyone ever feel this way, or can offer suggestions? Thank you for reading this, by the way.

[Hidden]

Hello IntrovertMe and welcome to our supportive Community. Well done for taking the first brave step to join us,

Reading your post I can identify completely with how you feel. Low self-esteem affects us in many different ways and you have described how it affects you very clearly. It make us think negatively about ourselves, we feel we do not matter, we are not important, we compare ourselves to others and want to please others. You are not alone IntrovertMe. Low self-esteem affects so many. There is support available to help you and with the right support you can improve your self-esteem and feel better about yourself.

Your mood is quite low and I think you need to make an appointment to talk to your Doctor about how you are feeling. It may be an idea to take a copy of your post along as it describes so accurately how you feel. Your Doctor will also be able to suggest support for example, talking therapies to help you with your low self-esteem and how it affects you.

Please do keep in touch and let us know how you get on. Please feel free to post on our Community and reply to posts too. We all try to help each other as much as we can.

Lottie x

[chloe40]

Hello IntrovertMe

Welcome to our Community.

You sound like one lovely lady! who puts herself after everyone else, not before and this in my opinion has lead to social anxiety and lack of self confidence.

You are a talented woman and in my view would do extremely well studying English / Media studies. Not only would University or College give you more choice, it would also increase your social life and your confidence will grow. You can achieve anything you wish!

Plenty of time for a personal relationship when you are good and ready.

Please do stay in touch

Chloe x