New person and feeling sad

[Elmodfz]

Hi, as the title says I'm new here. I haven't been to see the Dr yet about how I feel as I can't talk to people about it easily. I feel like they won't understand and will just brush it off. I've been feeling really down and gloomy for a long time, the more I think about it, it seems to have been over the last year. Recently it's got worse, since I started back at work as a full time lecturer.

Last academic year, I was stressed out but only part time as I was doing my MSc along side work, so I had a break from my job 2 days a week which was nice. Since September I've just been getting more depressed and low feeling. I looked into symptoms of depression and can tick 90% of the ones on the list.

I can just about pull it together for work, but I've had 2 meltdowns already this year at my desk. I'm irritable and short with everyone including my parents. I have lost all interest and motivation in things I enjoy, including playing Ice hockey which I loved. I haven't set foot on the ice in nearly 2 months because I just don't have the enthusiasm and I feel that I'm no good at it. I look forward to being alone at the end of the day because I've had to fake being happy for so long.

I miss my dog who died just before xmas last year. My parents are in the process of adopting a new one, who I've met a few times but I feel nothing. I have no positive feelings towards anything, I don't remember the last time I was genuinely happy. I've got a job interview coming up, and I just think what's the point as I won't get the job anyway.

I can't even talk to my parents about this so how do I approach a stranger (aka my Dr) and tell them? Typing is easier than speaking about it, I'll probably just cry. I just want to crawl under a rock and not come out again.

[Natsteveo]

Well hello Elmodfz

Welcome to our wonderful friendly community. Im so sorry you feel this way I do feel for you...

First of all you have come to the right place.

When we feel so low and down it hard to talk to anyone especially when we dont even know what it is we are experiencing. .please go and visit your doctor talk to them it dosnt matter if you cry in front of them it dosnt mean your weak it means your human your doctor is trained to help people like us they will never judge you they are there to help you maybe you need some medication to lift you a little maybe just temporary untill you start to feel a little better in yourself...then when you get diagnosed by your doctor then you could talk to you parents about it..ya know losing anybody is devastating wether it be a loved one or even our much loved pets it hurts just as much.. I lost 2 of my dogs last year one was 16 the other was 5 I cried for ages and everytime someone mentioned them I would cry its really heartbreaking you will bond with the new dog its only because your still hurting you feel nothing but it will return believe me....when you approach your doctor just tell them that you are not feeling yourself your feeling down and just explain how your days are tell them everything you experience and how you push througj everyday the best you can they will be very understanding they are there to help you...dont be too hard on yourself make that appointment please understand you are not alone we are all here in the same situation and here for you let us know your progress take care

Love nat

[Hidden]

Hello Elmodfz and welcome to our Community.

I am sorry to hear that you are feeling so sad and really struggling.

Depression is an illness that affects your mood, it can make you irritable and short with people. It affects your confidence and self-esteem and can be isolating.

Elmodfz you are not alone. You have made the first brave step to seek help by reaching out to us, well done.

I urge you to make an appointment to see your Doctor. If you are worried about talking to the Doctor take a copy of your post with you and let your Doctor read it. It explains exactly how you are feeling. Your Doctor will have seen so many patients with symptoms of depression and really is the best person to decide how best to help you.

Elmodfz, please let us know how you get on. Remember we are always here to 'listen' and support you in any way we can. Take care,

Lottie

[koizumi]

elmodz: Most of the people who visit this site have been where you are now, so we can empathise. Please do not crawl under a rock; you are too valuable. I would suggest that you really try to talk with your parents; you may find that they are much more understanding than you think. You must try to seek help, for your sake. Good luck!